delve a little deeper....
It's Valentines day! That day when card retailers, chocolate makers, supermarkets and restaurants make loads of money. It's the day when women smugly post photos of their bouquets on Facebook or bemoan their single status and stay in bed with a packet of biscuits and a bottle of vodka. It's when blokes think 'Oh fuck it's Valentines Day, I'd better get her something' and despite almost everyone saying 'It's all commercial crap' most people secretly hope their other half will remember and rock up with a bunch of flowers, a whip and a large root vegetable. (or is that just me?)
For me Valentines day is usually a quiet one. It's probably considered not the done thing to do today. I suppose attached men feel they should at least get home on time or that they might get lucky tonight having bought flowers and single ones either are hoping to pull a woman grateful for any attention today or just feel it feels wrong to pay for sex on what is deemed a day of romance, hearts and rose petals.
However, there are excellent reasons to pay for sex today... here is a list.
1. You don't have to think up an original, romantic present to bring me.
2. I'll be thrilled if you do show up with anything, cos I'm easily pleased and won't care if you put zero thought into it because any gift from a client is a surprise and lovely.
3. I will put out without needing a candlelit bath and a back rub.
4. You don't have to cuddle me after or sleep in the wet patch. Sleeping is strongly discouraged anyway.
5. It's dead quiet today so you're more likely to get the escort of your choice.
6. It's far more exciting to have no strings, filthy sex with a hooker than a candlelit dinner in Pizza Express.
7. You aren't expected to remember my name.
8. I won't expect you to do it bigger and better next year.
9. It's always better to do something YOU want to do than do it because you think you should.
10. How many women do you know who will accept, 'Here's my valentines day gift!' followed by a face full of spunk?
11. You will be contributing to an independent small business, not a corporate giant.
12. I'm cheaper than a girlfriend.