delve a little deeper....
You may or may not be aware of THIS webpage. The point it is trying to prove is a little vague. The site says:
Before I start with this blog I need to say I know I am coming from this as a privileged escort. I choose who I see, I don't have to see everyone who calls me, noone controls me and I genuinely love my job. I am fully aware many women do not have this and whenever I write about how fortunate I am or about issues regarding criminalisation I try to be mindful of this. So, before I continue, I AM aware that some men are twats and some women are unhappy and abused. I am just putting an alternative view on the Invisible Men project.
Each day on this website there is a picture of a mask with words taken from the Punternet review section.
Now reviews, they can really help with establishing an escorts reputation and certainly increase hits to a website. My reviews have always been pretty kind and complimentary. They usually give me a warm fuzzy glow and I am not offended by them or feel objectified by them. Again, I am lucky I get to see lovely respectful clients.
However, I must admit sometimes I read reviews and I do feel for the woman. They can be brusque, demeaning and personally insulting to a woman. On the other hand, like in any service industry there will be good and bad and views are subjective. The point of 'bad' reviews is to let people know what to expect in the same way that we might research a new laptop, restaurant or tattooist.
Choosing an escort can be tricky. I have heard many stories of men finding it hard to get a reply from women on Adultwork. There are tales aplenty of bad service and of men being ripped off or threatened by heavies as as well as a concern from many men that they might pick someone who is trafficked, forced or really doesn't want to do the job. Trust me, most men are not abusers and most men want no part in using the services of an unwilling woman. They also have to look out for themselves. They are parting with a lot of hard earned money, they often nervous about discretion and might have a limited time slot. As a minimum they need an escort who will be where she says she is at the agreed time, provide the services he requires and make him feel she is enjoying it too. On top of that he might desire a safe area to park his car, a woman who is able to converse in good English or who has natural boobs.
It's not uncommon to hear of women stretching the truth about their age or dress size. Whilst I believe sexiness goes deeper than how old you are or how much of a tummy a customer has a right to make these choices. If you really fancied a steak and chose a restaurant which promoted it's wonderful aged Scottish steak then showed up to find that they were only serving vegan food that night, however yummy the bean and lentil stew might be you're going to be pissed off.
Review sites exist to help men choose the right escort for them and to check out if she is what she says she is.
The Invisible men project has clearly cherry picked quotes to shock and outrage. The graphics help create an image of faceless women with no features and are nothing more than a price tag. There has been much applauding of the project and from the responses on this Mumsnet thread it's clear the aim and result was to shock and disgust people. Comments include:
"certainly gives the reality of prostitution. so sad."
"Well, yes - because they are using women as objects - they might as well be toasters for all they care."
"Really sad - this is the reality of prostitution. None of that happy hooker nonsense."
"You can't respect men like this. There is no way the women they pay to be with respect them or think anything much of them, regardless of what these deluded freaks might think."
"Nooo, the basis of the argument is that men who use prostitutes are utter cunts."
And before I get accused of cherry picking, there were a couple of attempts by posters to question the project, but they were quickly shouted down and 90% of the comments were expressing disgust and supporting the project.
This New Statesman article by Helen Lewis attempts to be unbiased but clearly is supportive of the project and only looks as far as the words written and without any context.
And what of lovely things men say? No examples of them at all. Here are a few quotes from my own Punternet reviews:
Thanks Lydia for reminding me how good sex can be.
We had a chat about this and that and Lydia gave me another blowjob, however, I decided to wank myself over her tits, a brilliant end to a great great first punt!
To say that Lydia specialises in this (anal play) would risk ignoring all her other lovely skills, but she was careful, gentle and considerate as she introduced me to some new experiences.
Beautiful sparkly eyes with the naughtiest glint in them, a wonderful smile and a cracking figure: curves in *all* the right places and the *most* fantastic boobs it has been my pleasure to come across...
Treat her with the utmost respect gents, Lydia is one in a million.
with great natural boobs and a friendly, intelligent face.
Hardly insulting or objectifying are they?! Do they sound like monsters who hate women? No.
So let's look at some examples used on the project and see them from a different stance..
"She expertly began oral on my bare cock slowly at first then with a little help at a faster pace occasionally holding her head down impaled on my cock while she gagged and choked but never wavered - extremely professional young lady!"
You know, there are women who enjoy gagging and choking (not me though, but I know some who do!). Who is to say whether she enjoyed it or not. I have found the original review and it ends:
"Very nice friendly & willing young girl thoroughly recommended!"
Doesn't sound like she was miserable and unwilling to have this done to her does it? Those who are appalled by this review are judging it on their own personal sexual preferences. Here is another...
"Disappointing started with OWO which she reluctantly performed"...."she wouldn't kiss nor would she let me touch her fanny"
Yes, this does sound as if the woman was unhappy in her job. The writer of the review ends with a question over whether she does the job by choice or not. The tone of the words doesn't suggest he relished the booking, for all we know he went home and felt like shit about it and vowed to research harder next time. His review, if it is a true reflection on what happened is a fair warning to other men, whether on a harsh 'Don't waste your money lads' level or a saddened 'Don't be part of this poor woman's unhappy life' level we don't know.
One more- Look at this:
Sounds pretty horrible when reading doesn't it? Sounds as if she was abused and used. Here is the full report
The reviewer says:
Nicha is very attentive. I was undressed, caressed, kissed and made to feel at home
Many WGs have said the head of my cock is quite large and Nicha certainly had problems getting it into herself. Once in though, she rode me like the Pony Express.
whenever I pulled my cock out and thrust it back in, she cried out in pain, but never asked me to stop. Fake of course but done so well that it was fantastic.
Nicha is quite lovely, has a fantastic body and good tats if that turns you on. She fucks like an animal, got soaking wet from all the cunt juice and will take a bit of rough. The woman is practically perfect.
Doesn't that full review make it sound like a two way street? The reviewer sounds Ok doesn't he? Yes, the language is graphic but I don't think he is the sadistic, rapist brute he comes across in the few words The invisible Men project chose to use. I'm fairly confident Nicha enjoys this kind of sex or at least is highly professional.
The anti prostitution movement will do anything to try and further their cause. I have written enough about my personal feelings of the job and have always made it clear that I am not blinkered to the suffering and abuse of others and I feel that help should be given to those who are abused and desperately want out. I don't deny their are some nasty men who pay for sex, but will always make the point that many are lovely and 'normal'.
Why can't everyone see there are many sides to the industry and those who use dirty tactics such as The Invisible Men Project use their time more productively?