delve a little deeper....
There aren't many great things to write about Hounslow, other than me being in it isn't the sort of place that brings in visitors. There's a tired shopping centre, an Asda (whose car park has just been closed), lots of planes going over and Hounslow Heath, which frankly is just a large bit of scrubland whatever their website tells you about it being a "Local Nature Reserve and Site of Importance for Nature Conservation (of Metropolitan Importance)" I really wouldn't make the effort to see it.
What Hounslow does boast is three, yes THREE Poundlands. I have no idea why we need three Poundlands, especially as the high street also boasts a brand new PoundWorld, a 99p shop and a 97p shop. Seriously, the three Poundlands are literally five minute walks away from each other. You may have seen the press this week about Poundland's new sex toy range. Sex toys, in Poundland, for a quid?! Yes, indeedy!
Actually, they first released their pound bullet vibe a few years back (how did I miss this?!) but now they have extended their range further. It's called Nooky. Of course it is.
The range apparently includes a finger stimulator, a cock ring and a vibrating cock ring and lube. There's also his n hers libido stimulant pills called 'Vitality', herbal Viagra basically which claim to perk you up and of course the women's come in a pink packet and the men's in blue (don't get me started on gendered colours nonsense). They've also been doing condoms for years too apparently.
So, Fanny Price and I had a Twitter conversation about this exciting revelation and made a promise to test out these Poundland treats and as she was arriving today I set out to do some shopping this morning thrilled that I had not one, not two but THREE local Poundlands to choose from!
As it turns out I had forgotten I'm actually quite shy about buying sexy stuff. I get my condoms online partly because I can get them cheaper in bulk but also because I'm pathetic about buying them in person. Hell, whilst I'm in confession mode, I still feel a bit weird about buying tampons...
I find the sex stuff shelf easily in the same aisle as the 3 packets of no name paracetamol for a quid, Pound nail varnish and Polish shower gel but there are people about. Feel awkward. Is it because it's a bit tragic to be buying condoms in Poundland? Maybe a bit, but to be honest I'm the same in Boots. Incidentally, no cashier has ever said to me 'Getting plenty then!' with a saucy wink or looked sympathetic whilst I buy two packs of heavy flow Tampax so God knows where this comes from.
Decide too many people are about so buy a packet of Opal Fruits (or whatever they call then these days) and some batteries (for my vibe ironically enough). I then discover that this Poundland has self service checkouts! Hooray! I can buy pound sex toys and no cashier will be there to judge me!
I headed off to Poundland number Two because there were no bullet vibes, finger stimulators and I had decided that I wasn't going to eat any 'Vitality' stimulants so thought I'd see if the other Poundland had a better range. It didn't, and in a burst of bravery I grabbed a cock ring and some condoms and headed off for the self check out. Oh. No self check outs at this branch. This is obviously the less good Poundland. Found myself in front of a checkout and fronted it out. If she looked funny at me I'd say I was a journalist and it was for an article. Of course she didn't bat an eyelid. Well maybe she did, I wouldn't know because I was busy making no eye contact whatsoever.
Feeling yet more confident I headed back to Poundland One and grabbed a vibrating cock ring and lube and headed for the nice private self check out only to be ushered over to a real life person because there was a queue at the self checkout. Probably other people buying shamefully cheap marital aids.
So, having not found any bullets or finger stimulators and not fancying the pep pills however natural they claim to be, I have:
A vibrating love ring
A Joy Ring (non vibrating)
Some 'Tingle'- Stimulating Lube
Twelve pack of Sure condoms (flavoured and coloured)
Fanny and I are going to attempt to live tweet our testing out session later tonight so do try and join us on @Minxy_Lydia and @MissFannyPrice_ #QuidHoes.
In further 'What The Fuckery Poundland?!', look what else they sell...
I shall be working with Fanny Price on 5th & 6th October. Please book in advance because we are always very popular when working together! :)
Our duo rates
30 minutes- £140
45 minutes- £180
1 hour- £220
90 minutes- £340
2 hours- £400
One thing I have learned in life is that the penis often works as a separate entity to the rest of a man's body. Hard ons at inappropriate moments, coming too quickly, not being able to come and sometimes not being able to get hard in the first place.
All men suffer from at least one of the above at some point in their lives and for some it's just because they've drunk too much one night and for other it's a long term often upsetting problem.
I've learnt a lot since becoming a sex worker. When the sexual satisfaction of a man is pretty much what you're paid to do, along with the obvious benefits of giving a chap such a good time he comes back again and again you tend to start to figure men out a bit.
Erectile Dysfunction (ED) used to be known as impotence and is basically is the inability to get and maintain an erection that is sufficient for satisfactory sexual intercourse. According to the NHS it pretty common and half of all men between the ages of 40 and 70 will have it to some degree and most men will experience it at some point in their life.
Of course there is a big difference between the severity of ED, it may be an occasional occurrence and for others it is a long term condition.
Some of the long term causes of ED are:
It can also be caused by drinking too much, drugs or good old fashioned nerves. Then there is when a bloke has got so excited about coming to see you he knocks one out before he sets off to see you and then can't manage it again. This isn't ED, it's twattery.
Of course I should be saying if you come and see me then you'll have a massive hard on and be able to come 28 times because I'm so damn hot, but the reality of it is that this isn't always the case. As much as we are not sexbots who can get wet and orgasm at the drop of a hat our clients aren't either, however excited and pleased they are with us it doesn't always go to plan.
One of the things I learned early on in my hoing career is that when things don't work penis wise IT IS NOT MY FAULT! I used to feel like crap if a chap had to leave without popping his load. Obviously I do all I can to ensure my clients are relaxed and feel at ease with me and I will try every trick in the book to coax a hard on or an orgasm out of a client but there are some things as a client you can do to help me.
1. Talk to me! If you have a medical issue that prevents you from getting a hard on or orgasming TELL ME! Don't be shy, I have seen and heard it all before and I want you to have a good time. Madly wanking a cock that won't come is awkward for us both, especially if you know it's not going to come to fruition.
2. If you insist on taking drugs (coke comes to mind) don't expect to come however bloody horny you are. You're just annoying and I have no sympathy.
3. Relax. Stop thinking about it. The more you bash away at your penis in a panic the less likely it is to behave. Nerves and panic do not appeal to penises. Do something else, talk to me , play with me, relax, Stop thinking about getting a hard on.
4. Viagra might get you hard, but it will often prevent you from coming. Tell me if you're on it, if you don't want to that's fine but don't expect a fast orgasm, if at all. Maybe only take half a pill at a time.
5. If you have a really filthy, taboo thing that you think might help matters then do share with me. It's unlikely to shock and if me pretending to be your mummy or your dog helps then I'm all for it!
If you can relax and enjoy our time together without feeling any pressure to perform in a certain way then you'll take away some great memories (wank fodder) and my work is done!
It's not a new observation, but not one I have written about before. People are uncomfortable by the word prostitute. I say people, I mainly refer to others in the sex industry. Go and look at any number of sex workers website, no one refers to themselves as a prostitute and most clients refer to 'seeing an escort'. Prostitute is used as an insult, we may jokingly refer to 'prossying' , but very few women actually stand up and proclaim to be a prostitute. If I'm honest, I prefer 'escort' or 'sex worker' over prostitute, but I don't have any qualms in referring to prostitution as a concept and it's fine when the industry is referred to in academic terms, although sex worker is the accepted term these days and the media are also shifting to sex worker (unless it's a shitty tabloid piece).
So, why are people squeamish about the word prostitute? The dictionary definition of prostitute is:
1. One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
2. One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose.
tr.v. pros·ti·tut·ed, pros·ti·tut·ing, pros·ti·tutes
1. To offer (oneself or another) for sexual hire.
2. To sell (oneself or one's talent, for example) for an unworthy purpose.
The etymology of the word is in is derived from the Latin prostituta. Some sources cite the verb as a composition of "pro" meaning "up front" or "forward" and "situere", defined as "to offer up for sale".
Another explanation is that "prostituta" is a composition of pro and statuere-to cause to stand, to station, place erect with derivatives meaning "place or thing that is standing"
The Online Etymology Dictionary states the definition, as used from the 1520's as meaning
"to offer to indiscriminate sexual intercourse (usually in exchange for money)," from Latin prostitutus, past participle of prostituere "to expose to prostitution, expose publicly," from pro- "before" + statuere "cause to stand, establish," from PIE root *sta- "to stand," with derivatives meaning "place or thing that is standing"
The Online Etymology Dictionary states that prostitute as a noun means "harlot, woman who offers her body indiscriminately" (usually for money).
Interestingly, if I may pop off at a tangent for a second; pornography etymologically denotes the "depiction of prostitutes" Originally, porno meant, "bought, purchased, exported, sold".
According to Ernest Klein, in his Klein's Comprehensive Etymological Dictionary of the English Language, "The Greek element originally meant 'bought, purchased', and is related to another Greek word that meant, 'I sell', or 'I give for equal value.'
What strikes me is the use of the word indiscriminate. This means without care, or randomly, without thought which to be fair is how a lot of people view prostitutes, that's we'll let whoever wants to come along and fuck us. Whilst I appreciate there are some women in that position, usually though desperate poverty or because they are being forced to; for most UK based sex workers this isn't the case at all.
Most of us are very careful who they see and most have some kind of screening. Personally, if someone can't send a proper email or text mentioning a date or time and some kind of politeness then I won't entertain them. In fact, being called 'babe' can be enough for me to ignore a potential punter! (I really hate it). I also have other work which I do around escorting so if I'm on a deadline or have a meeting then no can do.
I wonder if the implication that prostitution is someone who fucks anyone is why so many women feel awkward about the word or whether it's simply because they feel it lumps us all together with those women who are standing on street corners trying to get enough money for their next fix. Clients can be icky about it too. I've had men tell me 'you're not a prostitute! You're an escort, that's different!' It's sweet I suppose, but more about their internalised squickiness about what they are doing...
It isn't really, a prostitute sells sexual services for cash whether she is charging £20 or £2000. But, essentially most people are left slightly queasy about the word prostitute; escort, call girl, companion, courtesan, concubine and so on are far nicer words that imply luxury, class and I think choice. Choice to offer sex yet turn down those they don't want to see. Don't get me started on sugar babies who tend to be in total denial that they are sex workers let alone prostitutes!
Whilst I am sure there are plenty of women who are happy to say 'I am a prostitute', in some kind of reclaiming of the word you won't see it in any of their marketing!
I will be spending the day in Tooting on Thursday 17th August and be available to all you lovely south Londoners!
I'll be in a discreet hotel about 10 minute walk from Tooting Broadway station.
Please let me know if you'd like to make a booking so you can ensure your spot!
I shall be available in Exeter from 3rd- 5th August!
I'll be in a city centre hotel, about a 10 minute walk from Exeter Central station.
Please book me in advance to ensure you can see me and that I pack the goodies you might need to make your booking utterly perfect!
I have new photos! I've put them in my gallery and dotted a few about this website and had a little tidy up! I'm very pleased with them and am sending massive thanks to the two beautiful escorts who coordinated and shot the photos. They know who they are, even if you don't!
I've had a few mini breaks over the last month so I haven't been terribly available of late but I am back now and planning on being around for the rest of the summer. Unless you want to take me on a little holiday of course! :)
I've attached a couple of my holiday snaps for you...
I am also with Fanny Price at the latter part of this week so if you are up for a naughty threesome now is your opportunity! We are also available on our own if two is too much to handle!
We are available on Friday (Thursday already booked up!) after 12.30pm until late and then Saturday all day. Give me a call on 07950345615 to secure your place. We are available for incalls and outcalls if not too far away!
Looking forward to seeing you!
The gorgeous and delicious Fanny Price is back in London in July and we have a whole heap of fun planned! And that fun includes YOU!
Get yourself booked in for an hour or two of fun, frolics with the hottest dup in West London!
30 minutes- £140
45 minutes- £180
1 hour- £220
90 minutes- £340
2 hours- £400
Available on the evening of Thursday 6th July- Saturday 8th July.
Looking forward to seeing our favourite naughty boys again!
Exclusive! First video on my website It's only 7 seconds, but it's boobs!
Yes, yes, yes, I know, I have been totally rubbish at keeping in touch lately. I really must start blogging again and if you have anything you'd like me to blog about just make a comment, all ideas gratefully received!
So, what I have I been up to? Well I am working on a couple of other things unconnected to escorting so they have kept me busy and occupied elsewhere. Most of the work is from home so it gives me the flexibility to see clients in between times which is great! I love the mix of 'civvy' work and sex work.
In more exciting news I had a photoshoot last week. The pics are being sorted and edited as we speak so very soon I'll have some lovely new up to date photos to share with you. I can't wait! It was a great shoot and you'll get to see me in a new light!
Summer is here! All very mixed weather wise, but I am off to Seville in a couple of weeks so should guarantee me some sunshine, lots of walking, delicious food, culture and some great company! If you have any 'must see' suggestions beyond the obvious tourist attractions for Seville do let me know!
Right, now I am going to look at the 10 draft blog posts I have sitting here to see if there is something I should have published!