delve a little deeper....
I started this post in February after my photoshoot. See here for some of the results and I had a lovely post all written in my head and then I abandoned actually writing it after four words. I did mean to come back to it, but I got sidetracked (mainly by bonking and Angry Birds).
Today, I have finally got back to it!
For me, having my photograph taken is no fun. i don't like it, I'm a lousy model and am super critical of myself. It makes it even more difficult when you're having pictures taken for escorting purposes.
Firstly there is a certain amount of anonymity required. I'm not as paranoid/careful as many women because I'm pretty 'out' with regards to my family and friends, but I'm still not a fan of full on face shots. The hiding of face things makes things much trickier for the photographer- indeed most photographers are used to the face being the focus when taking pictures of people and I'm not a huge fan of the head severed off by cropping look.
Secondly, it's important to get the tone of the photographs right. We all know that the service I am selling is about sex and whilst I prefer to attract men beguiled by my wit, charm and grace (ha ha) I know that the body is important when many men choose a woman.
However, I'm not overly keen on having legs akimbo, flaps out pictures gracing my website. I think many men prefer a little bit of allure and mystery in a woman and quite frankly if a chap is going to pick me on the basis of what my cunt looks like opposed to what it (she?) can do then I'm really not that fussed about seeing such a gentleman.
I am also aware that part of my appeal to some men is that I am on the voluptuous side and have big boobs so therefore I should be proud of my curves (aka fat bits) but I couldn't help part of my brief to the photographer being 'Make me look as thin as possible!'
Fortunately my snapper did not run for the hills at the ridiculousness of this request and did totally get the difference between looking curvy in a flattering sexy way and looking like a lump.
I also fret, and this so isn't fishing for compliments that because the pictures of me do look lovely and are flattering I may actually disappoint when men arrive to see me for the first time. Sometimes they are kind enough to say my pictures don't do me justice or tell me I'm beautiful but sometimes I worry that some men aren't as impressed.
I suppose much of it is the insecurity that most women have about their looks and when you're in a world where women are constantly judged on their looks it's hardly surprising. I use the word 'world' in two contexts.
The escorting world is about looks to a huge degree. You only have to read punting forums to see men discussing what kind of bodies, tummies, legs, boobs, bums, pussies and clit sizes they prefer as well as slating a woman's looks in reports. The following are real quotes taken from escort reviews (all about different women):
"a little heavier than her photos would suggest"
"She's got a long, thin face, and her teeth are long as well, a bit "rodent" like. "
" A pleasant enough woman but a bit of a dog to be honest. The photos are brilliantly taken. The reality is less alluring. "
" her boobs are all falling like an old 60 years old.
"Her boobs, although large, are oddly shaped and she has what looks like a 3" scar below her navel. "
So, you might winder why I struggled with the concept of looking as lovely as possibly but not out to deceive anyone! You might also understand why many women who are escorts are in a perpetual state of worry about their appearance!
I am fairly fortunate that I do know I have my niche based on various things other than just my looks (aside the big tit thing) and I am kind of glad I'm not young, dumb, thin and pretty because those women do get the kind of men who are all about fucking based purely on animal lust (and not in the good way).
The wider 'world' we live in is just as ridiculous when it comes to judging women on their looks, but I shall save that as a separate blog post for later.
And so it came to pass, Lydia had pictures taken, she was rubbish at posing, couldn't smile properly and whinged about looking podgy.
Here's one of the results!