delve a little deeper....
Ask any escort and she will tell you this comes under one of the most annoying things to be asked on the phone.
It's not that we don't want clients to ask questions if they are not sure about something and I fully understand why a man would want to confirm that I do the services he requires, but the 'What services do you do?' question which annoys and this is why:
1. I like to think that a man has read my website and profile already decided I am the escort for him because of my looks/price/location/services etc etc BEFORE he calls me up.
2. If I listed all my services it would take ages. Yes I could mention the commonly requested ones and tell him my no nos but how do I know if this covers what he wants?
3. It feels faintly like he is a prank caller wanting to get off on my saying rude words.
4. Why can't he just say what it is he wants? Why can't he be specific? You don't ring a Chinese takeaway and say 'So, what's on the menu?'
5. It's not always convenient for me to speak about naughty things if I am out and about. I don't sit in my flat alone all day waiting for the phone to ring and I don't want to not take calls if I am hoping to arrange bookings for later in the day/week. If I am out I usually say I'm on the train (or wherever) and hope they will realise that it's better for me if they say 'I'm looking for a GFE with a tit wank and a blow job and then to finish off on your tits' So I can easily respond to this with 'Yes, that's fine!' Or, of course if he has more detailed questions to ask when a better time to speak is!
I'm honestly not being grumpy or not understanding that for some blokes it's a nerve racking phone call to make. It's just that the 'What services do you do?' question really bugs me.
Other questions that are impossible or annoying to answer:
1. Are you dirty?
2. Have you got big tits?
3. How old are you? (If it matters why not look it up first, I hardly keep it a secret online)
4. Is it you in the photos? (No, I thought I'd put up pics of my mate *insert sarcasm icon*)
5. Can I have your address? (before a booking has been arranged)
6. Do you know anyone local who is like you but younger? (Yes, I have had this one!)
7. What girls do you have available? (um, am not a brothel)
8. Can you come to an outcall in Manchester at 10pm tonight? (No)
9. Can I book you for my mate, but he mustn't know I've paid you?
10. Can I call you mummy? (No, really, please don't)
I started this post in February after my photoshoot. See here for some of the results and I had a lovely post all written in my head and then I abandoned actually writing it after four words. I did mean to come back to it, but I got sidetracked (mainly by bonking and Angry Birds).
Today, I have finally got back to it!
For me, having my photograph taken is no fun. i don't like it, I'm a lousy model and am super critical of myself. It makes it even more difficult when you're having pictures taken for escorting purposes.
Firstly there is a certain amount of anonymity required. I'm not as paranoid/careful as many women because I'm pretty 'out' with regards to my family and friends, but I'm still not a fan of full on face shots. The hiding of face things makes things much trickier for the photographer- indeed most photographers are used to the face being the focus when taking pictures of people and I'm not a huge fan of the head severed off by cropping look.
Secondly, it's important to get the tone of the photographs right. We all know that the service I am selling is about sex and whilst I prefer to attract men beguiled by my wit, charm and grace (ha ha) I know that the body is important when many men choose a woman.
However, I'm not overly keen on having legs akimbo, flaps out pictures gracing my website. I think many men prefer a little bit of allure and mystery in a woman and quite frankly if a chap is going to pick me on the basis of what my cunt looks like opposed to what it (she?) can do then I'm really not that fussed about seeing such a gentleman.
I am also aware that part of my appeal to some men is that I am on the voluptuous side and have big boobs so therefore I should be proud of my curves (aka fat bits) but I couldn't help part of my brief to the photographer being 'Make me look as thin as possible!'
Fortunately my snapper did not run for the hills at the ridiculousness of this request and did totally get the difference between looking curvy in a flattering sexy way and looking like a lump.
I also fret, and this so isn't fishing for compliments that because the pictures of me do look lovely and are flattering I may actually disappoint when men arrive to see me for the first time. Sometimes they are kind enough to say my pictures don't do me justice or tell me I'm beautiful but sometimes I worry that some men aren't as impressed.
I suppose much of it is the insecurity that most women have about their looks and when you're in a world where women are constantly judged on their looks it's hardly surprising. I use the word 'world' in two contexts.
The escorting world is about looks to a huge degree. You only have to read punting forums to see men discussing what kind of bodies, tummies, legs, boobs, bums, pussies and clit sizes they prefer as well as slating a woman's looks in reports. The following are real quotes taken from escort reviews (all about different women):
"a little heavier than her photos would suggest"
"She's got a long, thin face, and her teeth are long as well, a bit "rodent" like. "
" A pleasant enough woman but a bit of a dog to be honest. The photos are brilliantly taken. The reality is less alluring. "
" her boobs are all falling like an old 60 years old.
"Her boobs, although large, are oddly shaped and she has what looks like a 3" scar below her navel. "
So, you might winder why I struggled with the concept of looking as lovely as possibly but not out to deceive anyone! You might also understand why many women who are escorts are in a perpetual state of worry about their appearance!
I am fairly fortunate that I do know I have my niche based on various things other than just my looks (aside the big tit thing) and I am kind of glad I'm not young, dumb, thin and pretty because those women do get the kind of men who are all about fucking based purely on animal lust (and not in the good way).
The wider 'world' we live in is just as ridiculous when it comes to judging women on their looks, but I shall save that as a separate blog post for later.
And so it came to pass, Lydia had pictures taken, she was rubbish at posing, couldn't smile properly and whinged about looking podgy.
Here's one of the results!
Decided against the nipple peeking shot! As much as I liked it I thought it was a little indiscreet if someone was viewing my page surreptitiously (thanks Dan) and also after a couple of Geri Halliwell comparisons I decided was not the image I was aiming for!
The above image I am hoping is more subtle and and gives a peek at my assets without being too 'tits out for the lads!'
Finally the weather seems to be warming up! This is very good news!
The eagle eyed among you may notice I now have a copyright symbol at the very bottom if the page. I never really thought about it before but this afternoon I have been doing some research, more on why in a minute. Copyright applies to work that is recorded in some way; rights exist in items such as literary, artistic, musical and dramatic work as well as films and sound recordings. Websites are included in this.
Basically copyright gives the creators of certain kinds of material rights to control ways
their material can be used. These rights start as soon as the material is recorded in writing or in any other way. So, when I write a blog, write a paragraph for my site or post a photograph it is automatically 'mine' and cannot be reproduced without my express permission. It is recommended that to protect your work further, deter people from copying and support any claim you may have to make should someone copy your work you can display a notice that shows you have an awareness of copyright and take infringements seriously. Hence the little Copyright ©2011-2012 Minxylydia at the bottom of each page. I am also allowed to use the pseudonym MinxyLydia because there is plenty of recorded evidence to support that is is me and of course protects my anonymity.
Anyway, I shall not bore your further on this or explain intellectual property (I have links to a couple of websites at the bottom of this page if you're really interested) but tell you a little story. This afternoon I was going through my site referrer lists to see where my web hits had come from and one was an escort website so I went to look at it thinking she might have blogged about me or mentioned me. But on no! What I found were several paragraphs directly copied from this very website. basically the entire second paragraph of THIS page and ALL of THIS page up to the My likes bit. Pretty much word for word- she has fake tits so the bit about mine being natural was removed. Hell there is even weird spacing where it had been deleted from a cut and paste job.
I was not impressed. At all.
It takes ages to write stuff like that. It's me, it's what I genuinely believe about myself and what I do. It offends me someone is too lazy to write their own stuff. She isn't even anything like me. Older, skinnier (not in a good way), fake tits, in another part of the country and with a totally different style, I discovered this when I found her adultwork page. Anyway, I decided to write her a nice email. Here it is:
It has come to my attention that there are large chunks of text I have written on your website www.insertsite.com I have emailed you here via adultwork because there is not an email address on your site.
I appreciate that it is sometimes tricky to write website information, but I had to spend a lot of time doing it myself so it upsets me that someone has blatantly plagarised my words. Of course I am mildly flattered you think my words are good enough to copy. You are geographically and physically very different from me so I do not see you as any sort of competition. However, copying my words is unfair and lazy and I would like you do remove what you have stolen.
I would like to point you in the direction of this website- http://www.copyrightservice.co.uk/copyright/intellectual_property which highlights the law regarding copyright.
My website is my intellectual property and you have breached copyright laws. Copyright protection is automatic under international law despite the fact I do not mention copyright on my website. I shall be changing this shortly to make it clear that I will not tolerate theft of my work. You even have the audacity to state on your homepage- "No information on this website may be reproduced or disseminated in any way without written permission from the owners of this website".
I have also found your IP address and who hosts your website. Reading their terms of service it is clear that your infringement of my copyright can result in them removing your content without refund.
I am giving you five days to remove my text from your website or else I shall be forced to contact your website host.
The sad thing is if you had contacted me asking for advice I would have happily helped you out. I do think in this game we have to look out for and look after each other. I work bloody hard on my website and other web content and it offends me when someone copies it.
I think that made the point I wanted to make. I have removed her name and website because despite the fact I was pissed off I really only wanted her to remove it and not scare her or mess about with her reputation or business.
Anyway, she replied saying someone else does her website, she was apologetic, that she had no idea he had stolen my words. She promised to get it removed. We actually ended up swapping a couple of emails because she was nice about it and I was astounded at how much she gets charged to have her website built and managed. I mean she was paying well over a grand a year more than I spend doing it myself so I sort of felt I had to direct her towards a couple of websites and to www.saafe.info which has invaluable information on such things for escorts.
OK, there is a cynical part of me that thinks maybe nothing will happen and her being nice to me was a ruse to make me go away and forget about it. We shall see.
I am am now going to google sections of my website and see where the hell else it appears!
Yes, I know it's the middle of the night, but I have just returned from a hotel outcall- very nice it was too, but am still a bit awake and the nice man I have just visited *waves at nice man* said that he had been reading my blog entries. Kind of reminded me that people do read, even though you're all rubbish at commenting and also connected nicely to something I was looking at today which I wanted to document.
My website has a helpful stats page which shows me how many people have visited each day, a list of referrers, i.e. where people have come from in terms of other websites I am connected to. This is useful so I know which websites are worth maintaining a profile on and also, just interesting. I often ask how a man how he has found me and this doesn't actually correlate with the sites that come top of the list. however, a lot of chaps respond to my question with 'the internet' which isn't dreadfully helpful, but hey they don't come to see me to assist with my marketing strategy!
The other thing the stats page tells me is a list of search engine searches, so if someone Googles 'Lydia Hounslow' and they click on the link given by google to get to this website it comes up.
This is my list for Feburary:
OK, Minxy Lydia comes top with quite a lot of people googling this, which makes sense, people who I have met or have me recommended by name but not recall my website would naturally google this. ' Lydia escort' is a little vague, but will still throw up this website somewhere in the list. I'm not entirely sure how the person searching for' Lydia escort mildenhall' got to me, but anyway.
What was really interested me was 'small penis minxy'. My initial reaction was WTF?! Why would a) someone google this and b) I don't have a penis, small or otherwise. I don't know what someone would google this, but could speculate- come on we have all googled random shit to try and find something. I googled this and sure enough I came up- more precisely a blog entry I made. So, it all fell into place.
I tried the same with some of the other searches listed and sure enough I popped up- usually a blog entry. What is really exciting (well to me anyway) that because of a combination of my genius SEO work, that of my website provider, I suppose google (although I haven't quite got my head around google analytics) and of course the subjects I blog I about I am becoming more high profile in the web.
So although I was vaguely aware that blogging was a good thing in terms of getting found on the web I wasn't consciously writing to get more hits. I write because I like it and because I know some people enjoy my waffle and because I think it gives a little bit of my personality away to those who might come and see me on the basis of thinking I am a nice/sexy/interesting/slightly bonkers woman. Of course some of my blog entries may put people off, but I don't aim to be all things to all people.
I like the idea that men google and get me- I like that because I have talked about roleplay a lot here I might get found by a man looking for an escort to do roleplay with. It's obviously a good business builder (hey, a girl has bills to pay!) but also it's satisfying that someone would find me this way, come and see me and have a great time! It's good to know random people who might not have any intention on seeing me might read me. I like to play to an audience, so even though you are all pretty much invisible to me the concept of having lots of adoring followers (egotist, moi?) is very appealing!
I'm not going to change the way I blog (sporadically about random shit that comes into my head mostly) completely, but I might be more aware that by using the right words and talking about things that people might be looking for in an escort could benefit me.
Tomorrow I am going to talk about anal play and fisting, but I promise you I was planning to blog about this before I realised the above!
Right, to bed for me! Toodle Pip!
You may have noticed that I now have a Favicon on my site! It's the little picture by the URL in the browser. It's not dreadfully clear but it is a shoe, my shoe, with my foot in. It will also show next to my website address in your favourites list. I am in your favourites list huh?!
Secondly, can someone comment please and state what time you are commenting. I think I have corrected the wrong time thing on here, but not entirely sure. Thank you.
Finally, I am out tonight with two lovely ladies, Sarita and Rosalie. No doubt we shall be comparing notes and swapping raucous tales!
So much for regular blogging! I do think of things I want to blog about, in fact I make up entire blogs in my head and then fail to actually get them down. I am far more interesting and witty in my head, I promise!!!
have just been fiddling about with website optimization and Google analytics so my head is hurting. So much more to a website than meets the eye!
You may have noticed my prices have increased a tad and I am offering outcalls again. Several reasons for this, but I shall not bore you with that here. You want naughty exciting stuff don't you?!
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want!
I don't get many comments :(
This is me being good at posting.
Ummm, now what to say?!....
Well firstly Happy New Year, I have high hopes for 2012. After two rather tricky years I'm hoping this one will be a good one for me. That's not to say last year was all bad. I mostly had a great time and I think as a naturally positive and strong person I got through the more traumatic parts relatively unscathed!
One of the things I am most proud of is making this here website all by myself and becoming a full time escort and actually doing it well (I hope!) I've met some great guys through it and have had some excellent sex (a perk I didn't get in my previous job!). I have discovered, although I sort of knew it really; that I have awesome supportive friends. I am very much loved, which I think is a big deal in life.
I have taken today off to do some chores and chill out. I also popped to the shops to pick up some essentials.
In a well known chemist I picked up a supply of condoms including one pack of XL sized ones, a surefire way to indicate to cashier you're not shagging just one person! also got some babywipes and tissues! Of course the girl on the till didn't bat an eyelid, but I was amused that the contents of my basket might reveal my career! I then purchased five thongs, one pair crotchless (on sale in Ann Summers!) and seven pairs of hold ups. Any search on my shopping I'm sure would indicate that I had a healthy sex life to say the least!
So, all tooled up ready to take on the new year! Don't forget I am in Notting Hill on Thursday and Friday this week and if all goes to plan will be based here one or two days a week- probably the Thursday and Friday. Am very excited about this, it's good to do new things and I hope to meet lots of lovely new people and maybe get me some more regulars! The flat is close to Notting Hill gate tube- that's only 16 minutes from Bank in The City (according to TfL website) so am hoping to get some visitors from that neck of the woods.
And now am going to lay on the sofa listening to Adele who is on the BBC now. Nice and chilled end to the day I think.