delve a little deeper....
I was reading this blog about swinging for the single woman- Sex and the Swingle girl by Jemima in the It's just a hobby blog. It reminded me of a time when I was newly single, horny and looking for some no strings attached sex.
I met my husband when I was 25 and up until then my sex life had consisted of a few boyfriends and lots of drunken encounters. The world of swinging was just some vague notion of middle aged people trying to spice up their sex lives. Open relationships weren't a concept I had considered and although group sex was a wank fantasy I never thought I would encounter it. I never thought it would be something I would be brave enough to do and despite my various random and ridiculous encounters I had never happened across a threesome.
Then in 2007 when my marriage was well and truely down the pan and the husband was out the country (I was too scared to do anything naughty whilst he was in the country!) I discovered sex chat rooms on the internet and Gumtree (like Craiglist) which in those days had a NSA section. What a revelation! I had various MSN encounters which led to dirty phone calls and because my sex life had been put on hold (long story re shite husband), I had hit my 30's and had suddenly become aware of my sexuality and started to want to make some of my fantasies come true. I also just wanted some sex.
I had two encounters at my flat with men I had met online. They weren't great, the first guy was really shy and awkward and came on my leg within the first three minutes. Made no attempt to finish me off (or even start me off!) and I just didn't fancy him, couldn't be arsed to make a move on him and just wanted him to go away. The second man came round, fucked me vigorously and left very quickly. Whilst the thrill of being treated like this was very very exciting in some respects I did feel a bit used and whilst I wasn't looking for anything meaningful I did feel taken advantage of.
I then met a man from Liverpool in a chat room. We talked lots and had terrific phone sex as well as talking about other stuff too, a friendship I suppose. I went up to Liverpool to meet him at a hotel. We had an amazing time. I had oral sex for the first time in about nine years (yeah, he was a shit husband) and he came all over my face. This was something I became obsessed with. I had never had it done to me (Yes I was a slutty youth but it was all very tame!) and it was something really really wanted to do and I still love it now!
Liverpool boy was what I needed. He was a nice guy, not bad in bed (at the time I thought he was amazing but in retrospect that was only because I had been in the Sahara of sex for so long) and he did give me some of the sexual confidence I had lost. There was no chance of a relationship. I was married, he was miles away and had an on off complicated thing with a women he was madly in love with, but we got on and could be honest about our sexual desires, get some affection without any commitment or romance.
I then met a woman online (it's a long story and those who know me well enough will know why I'm not going to go into detail!) who was really into group sex, had gangbangs, picked up men in bars and had a boyfriend who enjoyed all this. I found it really difficult to comprehend how you could be happy watching the person you love fuck someone else, let alone a whole group of men. I guess she was the first person I met (I say met, we never met in real life, it was all by email!) who had an open relationship and participated in group sex. To me she was some sort of wildly exciting goddess who actually did some of the fantasies I had but never ever thought I would do!
After I left my husband (just under a year after my first encounter with Liverpool boy) I had barely unpacked my belongings in my new flat before I was online, gagging for sex, full of these amazing feelings of liberty and horniness! Thanks to Liverpool boy and an encounter with another man I met after LB but before I left my husband I was feeling sexy and attractive again. These men fancied me, they enjoyed fucking me and I didn't have to get them pissed for it to happen!
I had several months of fun. I picked up men online for purely sexual encounters. I wasn't interested in dating, getting to know them, I just wanted sex. It was even easier than shooting fish in a barrel! As a single woman online who wants sex without the dates I was in demand. A single advert on Gumtree would yield hundreds of responses. I was definitely in a buyers market! I had some great meets, some less so, but nothing awful. Some men I saw once (sometimes their choice, sometimes mine) and others I saw a few times.
I truely enjoyed it but I was getting to the stage that I was getting bored. The thrill of meeting strange men for sex did it for me (and still does!) but the sex was starting to get samey. I was starting to meet one man more often who I started to embark on a journey of sexual discovery with. He was someone I trusted, he had been in open relationships and was very keen to share me with other men.
He was the first man I ever enjoyed anal sex with, the first man to fist me, first man to pee on me, he gave me my first threesome. Firstly with another man and then one night we got a female escort on for my first girl on girl experience since I was 19! I did my first gangbang with him by my side and I was starting to understand the appeal of an open relationship. I started to *get* that it was possible to see someone you're really into shag someone else and not feel jealous, but hugely turned on by. Through these parties I met other men who I sometimes saw alone and once hosted a couples swinging night with one of them where I met a woman who I have since had several dalliances with and is still a great friend (sadly abroad now).
In the meantime I started escorting (after a foray on adult phone lines) so I really did't need to meet men as a single woman in the swinging world anymore. And NO I don't wish to either before anyone gets any bright ideas!
I'm not going to go into details about the swinging world. The blog link I gave you at the start of this is a great introduction.
NSA sex can be easy- it was for me when I was happily doing my picking men up and discarding them period but it can be complicated. It's really difficult not to keep jealousy out of it. It's hard not to let human emotions get in the way. I think there are very few people who are 100% comfortable with their partner whether it be a fuck buddy or a long term partner go off and shag other people, certainly more so for women than men. Call me sexist, but in my experience it's nearly always men who fantasise about watching their wife get fucked and very few women for the reverse. (Yes, I know I'm being terribly heterosexual!)
Fuck buddies or friends with benefits are all the rage these days. It doesn't just occur in the swinging scene, but with people who meet in the conventional way- at work, college, in the pub and still of course online through swinging sites, specific adult sex sights and even good old Twitter.
The key to a good fuck buddy relationship is communication and tact. Discussing what your relationship is about. Do you *just* do sex, or is it OK to do non sex stuff, like have a meal together or on a day out to the zoo. If these non sex events happen, both parties need to know that just because they are doing something other than shagging it doesn't mean anything. In my experience, both personally and knowing other people who have been in these situations often one half gets all panicky that the other wants more and withdraws. of course if one person does fall for the other and it's not mutual or convenient then things can get tricksy.
It can be a difficult balance to get it right. As much as we might be clear in our own minds that it's a NSA relationship it's not uncommon to suddenly feel a bit used if all you ever do is fuck or if one person leaves the minute they have come!
If one or both parties are also sleeping with other people there needs to be a level of tact employed. Some might find it a turn on to hear the salacious details, others will want to know nothing of your encounters elsewhere. However, even if you like the details, it can be hard to listen to your fuck buddy go on about how wonderful another woman is and how much he likes her!
So it can be complicated if you're both not on the same page and there are, as Jemima says in her blog the usual roll call of idiots, timewasters and trolls, but there are some fantastic genuine people out there!
If you're a woman and are interested in the swinging world do read Jemima's blog, if you didn't click on it before here it is again Sex and the swingle girl.
This blog didn't quite turn out how I had written it in my head a few days ago. The trip down memory lane wasn't planned, bu I enjoyed it and I hope you did too!
The Scene: Daily Mail offices
A group of white heterosexual men in suits sit around a board table.
There is an air of unease. Circulation is down, The Mail Online aren't getting the hits they used to, advertisers are getting twitchy and rumblings from Dacre were getting louder...
'Any ideas anyone?' a white heterosexual man said hopefully.
Everyone looked thoughtful.
'Any gays died lately?' another white man asked 'We could get Moir in, she gave us no end of publicity when the poof from Boyzone copped it'
The room fell silent...
'You would have thought Littlejohn finishing that tranny off would have worked' someone else added.
The room filled with murmurs and headshaking. They were all most disappointed that that one hadn't made more of an impact despite the best efforts of those liberal lefties on Twitter.
'I suppose there's only one thing for it!' a white man who occasionally liked his bottom smacked by his Nigerian gardener announced. 'We'll have to get Brickie in!'
As she entered the room, the atmosphere changed. Air was sucked in through teeth, hard ons were hastily rearranged and the sound of wildly beating hearts could practically be heard as sweat glistened on many an upper lip.
'Fuck, she's so beautiful' one white man who had spent the night wanking over the Evening Standard's Thatcher pull out special said breathlessly.
She was a vision. She sat at the head of the table, her blonde hair spread across her shoulders like an angel. Her perfect legs crossed and the vacant look in her eyes was quickly changed with the smug self satisfaction that all these men would leave their wives for her.
'What can I do for you boys?' she said knowing the words on her lips were like a summer breeze across their fevered brows.
'We need something from you, we don't care who you upset but we need more readers, even readers who only read us because they hate us.'
'But, I already gave you my IVF trauma and heartbreak piece last week when you wanted me to do an obit of that IVF man who didn't give me a baby'. The pout on her lips was like the sweetest cherry.
'We know most pretty one, and we appreciate that but we need something more. Something to get the femin-lezzies going'
Samantha Brick looked thoughtful. The collective of white heterosexual men all waited, cocks still hard, pulses still racing.
'Well, you know how beautiful I am?'
'Yes!' a loud cry in unison was heard, each man hoping his affirmation was loud enough for her to notice him, even for just a second.
'Well, I thought I could share my secret of how one stays so beautiful. It's all about being thin.
The white hetreosexual men all removed the passing thoughts that they liked women with a healthy appetite, how they adored to see a pair of big bouncing boobs, slap a round peachy arse and any worry they had about their teenage daughter's eating disorder.
The beauty continued.
'Yes, that shall be my gift to you. I shall tell the world that being slim is the only way to be. Everyone should realise that only fit women will do well at work, I mean...'
She laughed daintily like a twinkling fairy flying by a crystal clear waterfall.
...'we all know dear Maggie never would have done so well if she'd been a lardy heffalump. I shall share the secret of my special polo mint diet and that it's OK to faint from hunger.
Samantha stood up, her dress rippling across her creamy (not that thin actually) thighs. She was getting into her stride now.
'I shall tell them to choose houses without kitchens, to holiday in predominantly vegetarian countries! I shall tell them to pick men who will DUMP them if they gain any weight!'
The white hetreosexual men all stood and cheered! Not caring that their trousers were still bulging and ruining the line, they whooped and yelled and cheered for their goddess!
'I don't care if even more women hate me, it's only because they are jealous of me, the fatties will all die of a cardiac arrest soon anyway!' she trilled like a bluebird on the first day of spring!
'Teenage girls need to know they won't be loved or get a job if they get fat. Starving yourself is the only way to be as perfect and beautiful as me!'
The cheering reached a crescendo. The white heterosexual men all knew that this one would be a winner. Tweets would be tweeted, blogs written, links posted on Facebook, commentary made in the lefty commie press (aka The Guardian) and general loathing and criticism across the land would fall at the feet of dear, beautiful Samantha and the advertisers and Editor would be happy again.
For those who are hard of thinking, the Daily Mail articles relevant to this post will not be linked here.
As promised, here is the scaffolder story from July 2010.
I can't hardly believe what I did this morning am most impressed with myself.
So, got up about 9ish and wandered into the lounge still wearing my skimpy night dress- strappy and very low cut. Noticed that scaffolding was going up on the flats opposite. Now having an interest in scaffolding I was watching as the four men worked away- very impressive with their poles they were too. I do appreciate a good erection....
Being the little show off I am I did lots of wandering past the window stretching and leaning in provocative manner. I was soon clocked, but pretended I was oblivious... My best mate rang so could concentrate on being on the phone and was telling her about them. She was laughing at me and said I should flash my tits. Thought this would be fun so started to allow the straps to slide off my shoulder accidentally on purpose. I could see the scaffolders were noticing and one was gesturing me to show a bit more. Feeling naughty and a bit brave I let my nightdress fall down fully baring my breasts. My friend, still on the phone could hear the cheer they all let out from her end and promptly killed herself laughing!
I got out of view as I was a little embarrassed and shocked at my own behaviour! A few minutes later, still on the phone I wandered back past the window again and leaned on my window sill showing plenty of boob! Got a thumbs up from a couple of the guys and four big grins! I waved back. One guy was motioning at me as if to say should he come over. On the phone I'm saying to friend 'Oh my God, he wants to come round!' Anyway, feeling wild I nodded my head and motioned a come here sign with my hand. He was soon shooting off down his ladder! I dashed to the bedroom window and shouted down my flat number as he arrived at the entry door. He buzzed. I let him in and opened my flat door to him.
As he walked in my flat he pointed to my bedroom door and said 'Is that the bedroom?', I said yes and headed in, him following. Stood in front of him I got to see him properly. He was about 25-30, not bad looking, very hot and sweaty, but I could still smell his body spray so it wasn't unpleasant. He kissed me briefly, but I could tell he wasn't really into kissing so I stood back and let my nightdress drop to the floor so I was stark naked.
He immediately started playing with my tits and squeezing them before moving his hand between my legs. I used my hand to locate his hard on under his shorts. He was soon pulling them down along with his underwear. I dropped to my knees (whore that I am!) and started to suck his already hard cock. Now, this I am very good at so he was soon moaning with pleasure. He then asked if we could say hello to the others and we went through to the lounge and I stood in front of the window, him behind, his hands on my tits! The other men all cheered and laughed as he stood behind me rubbing his crotch against my arse. I turned to him and dropped to my knees (to yet another cheer) and whilst the other men couldn't see me and I couldn't see them I can imagine my scaffolder was making appropriate I'm being sucked faces to them!
We went back to the bedroom and I lay on the bed, he stood and his hand soon found my cunt again and my mouth found his cock. I could tell he was close to coming so I moved my mouth and wanked his cock for a few seconds until he came on my tits! All this was probably over in less than ten minutes! He did tell me I had beautiful blue eyes which I thought that was quite sweet considering I was behaving in a very very slutty manner! I asked him if this kind of thing often happened. He said it wasn't a regular occurrence! He said he had to get back so I asked him if he was sending the others over! He said did I want that? I said yes please and he was gone!
Sadly noone else came to see me and they left shortly after, so whilst I'm a little disappointed none of the other men came round and that I didn't get a fuck, but I am pretty blown away by my naughtiness and impressed with myself at pulling this off!
I nearly got myself into an adventure this morning- well I think I did.
Doorbell went this morning, I was on the phone to a client and I guessed it was a delivery I was expecting. I was in a tizz because I was mid conversation with a client who was coming over in 30 minutes and because all I was wearing was a small silky nightie that's a bit on the small side. Made quick decision, told client I would call him back and buzzed up delivery man who had by this point pressed on buzzer so hard it was now stuck and buzzing constantly. Threw on a robe and answered the door. I shall also point out I had been having very erotic text conversations with someone else (NOT a client before you get any ideas) last night and that morning so was as horny as hell.
Silky robe was not staying closed and as both nightie and robe quite short (I had no knickers on) I was trying to hold it closed both from the top and the bottom. Not easy with one hand and I knew I was giving the delivery man a good eyeful. Of course I then had to sign for my parcel which meant robe fell right open. I'm trying to be ladylike (ha) and apologise for my appearance, but he said it was quite ok! He was definitely enjoying the view!
So, once I had signed I asked him if he could look at my buzzer as it was still ringing. I had taken the ringer off the hook so replaced it to demonstrate it was still buzzing. He sort of stepped into my flat to look at it and I kind of realised that he probably thought I was doing some bored housewife routine and trying to entice him in! I wasn't scared or anything- I know it sounds like he was being a bit forward but he wasn't threatening in any way and besides I could have kicked his arse.
So, whilst I'm explaining there wasn't anything inside my flat he could help with and that I just wanted the buzzer downstairs unsticking I'm thinking God, I could actually probably get him in and fuck him (such a fantasy to tick off the list that one would be).
I'm also thinking I need to get rid of him because I need to call client back and get him in the right direction to make his booking. I'm also thinking the man who I was conducting the text sex with would be beyond thrilled if I seduced a delivery man and might be disappointed I had blown this chance! I'm also really wanting the constant buzzing of intercom system to stop too! So, all these thoughts in my head, trying to keep my overspilling tits under control I must have given off go away vibes to delivery man and he went away.
He did stop thought to unstick my buzzer and I did lean out the window (tits still bouncing all over) to shout thank you. Think am going to have to order something else...
If any of you remember the scaffolder story, which I was sure I had posted here, but can't find it you'll know I am not adverse to such naughtiness. I will have to see if I can find the story somewhere and post it here!
So, if you're stuck for a roleplay to do with me the above one except with me inviting you in to 'mend' something might be a fun idea. If you can dress as a delivery man I will give you bonus points.
EDIT: Have found the scaffolder story in an email I sent to someone at the time! Will post tomorrow!