delve a little deeper....
As you should know if you've been reading this blog I do enjoy a bit of roleplay. It's something I enjoy doing with both clients and lovers and I wish I got to do more of it!
Apart from it being fun I think there are some very good reasons why this kind of fun works for so many people.
a) fulfilling a fantasy that you couldn't actually do in real life. Or at least close to the fantasy.
b) being someone else is always a good thing to do for a while. In some cases the use of roleplay can make bring out the confidence in a shy person.
c) having a scenario to work through may delay the hands on touchy sexy part of a session and we all know foreplay is a good thing. For me, the build up is a massive turn on.
d) It's fun! It can be a giggle and it's something different to the usual and hey if you get to laugh as well as get laid it can't be a bad thing.
So, deciding on what scenario to do. You may already have one in your head or have a fantasy already in which case it can easily be converted into your roleplay. The common one I get asked to do a lot is the slutty secretary one. I guess it's because guys see gorgeous women at work that they'd like to do rude things with and well, it wouldn't be appropriate to actually ask Miss Jones to take down her knickers instead of notes to a meeting. I think the 'secretary' thing covers a generic workplace fantasy, and has a better ring to it than slutty HR manager or slutty IT support girl! Although both those work in a roleplay scenario. getting called to HR to explain absence and persuading her to let you off if you give her some awesome oral sex or taking advantage of the IT girl late at night whilst um... rebooting severs (or whatever it is IT people do after dark).
Other common themes involve bored 'housewives' and callers whether it is the estate agent, insurrance man or pizza delivery boy. Again, I think for men it's about the fantasy of meeting a woman in a professional capacity but unable to actually do anything about it in reality. The French Maid which don't actual exist in reality really, but the outfit is cute, but a room service girl who spills soup on you and needs to remove your clothes and 'apologise' in a special way is always fun!
Other popular ones are Dr/patient, student/teacher, police officer/criminal (or just someone wanting to get out of a parking fine and one high on my list butler/maid!
Age play can be great fun too, but not everyone finds them comfortable. I personally believe a man who enjoys spanking a naughty school girl in roleplay doesn't actually want to do bad things to actual children. If he did he would be lurking around school gates and not engaging with 36 year old me in a fancy dress school tie!
In the same way a man who enjoys being seduced by his much older next door neighbour or best friends mum is unlikely to actually do it in real life!
More basic less defined roles can also be used. The beauty of roleplay is that you can be anyone anywhere and it doesn't have to be complicated and doesn't have to be about one person taking advantage or seducing the other (although these are the ones I like most) they can be as simple as a couple meeting up in a bar, flirting and then having wild sex in an alleyway - all without leaving your front room, although this one can be done in a real pub if you like!
The more quirky of you may have other fancies- alien lands on earth and wants to screw earth woman? Cave men and women who only communicate in grunts (although not sure I could do this without laughing) although this may be of inspiration to you! . Although the idea of being dragged by my hair to a cave is quite appealing!
Talking to some chatroom dwellers, I got some of their ideas (I thought getting a male perspective would be useful). H said:
"I used to have this fantasy of being in some kind of medical programme. I go to a clinic, where the girls treat me like meat, they just want to extract my jism (darn sexy girls in revealing medical gear)"
Other suggestions included off duty copper coerces a woman to avoid speeding fine, seducing someone you work with, being a sex slave to a group of busty girls, screwing a lollypop lady (?!), being seduced by a sexy GP doing a medical and being a taxi driver having a girl pay her fare in sexual favours.
It seems that most people do tend to like like the abuse of power or authority to be part of the roleplay. I assume this is because not only in reality you can't go round seducing random people but because deep down many people like the idea of having power over someone, or conversely a strong in-control person sometimes wants to be submissive and yielding to another. But we're getting into the dom/sub area now which is another blog for another day.
So, my checklist on a successful roleplay.
1. Decide what does it for you. See above for ideas!
2. Decide who does the seducing/taking advantage of who. In my experience one person is more dominant than the other. I don't mean dominant in a BDSM manner, although of course if that's your bag it can involve kinkier elements. I think one half of the couple being less keen than the other is a good tool to extend the session and build up the sexual tension. There's no point telling a woman you want to do a student/teacher roleplay if she is expecting to be taken advantage of and you expect her to be a slut who comes on to her teacher! So, simply you need to establish who is pushing and who is giving.
3. Don't over complicate by having scripts or long lists of details, but I think key elements need to be communicated and understood. There is as danger of someone getting in a tizz because they can't remember their lines, added pressure won't help.
4. Discuss and agree how fast you want the action to go. Someone will be let down if they think they are getting a long session with lots of teasing and seduction if the other just comes in throws her over the sofa yelling 'Pizza delivery!' as he rams his pepperoni up her within 30 seconds!
5. Don't give up. If one of you gets the giggles or gets struck dumb don't throw it in. Have a laugh and carry on. It's meant to be fun, you're not auditioning for RADA.
6. Dress the part if you can. No need for expensive and elaborate outfits or a props department that would put the BBC to shame, but a few touches makes it fun and keeps the focus. Remember my estate agent with a clipboard and tape measure?! Brilliant!
7. Don't be disappointed if the other person doesn't react how you want them to. It's very easy to say something and expect a reply or response, but unless you are very close or telepathic the other person won't know what you want. Throwing a hissy fit and screaming 'Noooo, you weren't meant to say that!' spoils the mood!
Talk about it afterwards.
8. You don't have to keep it up all night (chance would be a fine thing, boom boom!), the roleplay I mean... In my experience once the actual full on shagging bit starts it tends to peter out! But that's fine!
9. Talk about it afterwards (if it's with a regular partner, no need if it was a one off!), be honest, but not brutally critical, acting skills shouldn't be brought onto question!
10. Practice makes perfect and once you get to know what your partner likes and what works for you you can really start pushing some boundaries!
I don't really do new years resolutions. 1. Why set yourself up for failure and 2. If you really want to do something why wait til January 1st. However, saying that I do want to try and be a good girl and blog more. I miss documenting so many exciting things and from the emails I get so many people are following me and enjoy what I write so I feel a bit of a let down by not posting.
I won't write a whole story here, but I must tell you I had a fabulous Christmas party. 14 guys came and we had a really good, fun, sexy time! below is my favourite photo from the party! Might not appeal to you all, but I love it!
In less sexy news I had a good Christmas, very chilled, but no grief and no cooking for me!
Have generally had a quiet time, but all good. New years Eve, I am not a fan of so am staying in alone and curling up on the sofa and watching telly. Who wants to be squashed in busy pubs, deal with ridiculously drunk people, the cold and not being able to get home?! I certainly don't. however, I am keeping off the booze- that will only make me melancholic, but saying that I might have a glass of wine to toast the anniversary of losing my virginity! Yes I lost my virginity 20, yes that is TWENTY years ago today. That makes me feel very very old. Oh, you know the losing my virginity story I told you? That was the 'official' version, the real actual first time was a bit of an error and on New years eve, 1991. Yes, I always was a slut!
Today I had a most excellent time being a slutty schoolgirl, I was a very bad girl who needed help with her maths homework...
Here's a couple of quick snaps I took once I had got ready... apologies for dodgy self shot in mirror, but hey we can't always have a studio and professional photographer at hand (and yes my bathroom mirror needs cleaning)!
Finally, have a wonderful New Years Eve, however you are celebrating and I hope 2012 brings you all you desire and I do hope I get to meet (and re meet) some of you!