delve a little deeper....
Ok, this is going to sound full of snark, but if it stops just one moron from ringing me up then I am happy! :)
Things clients say that won't get you a booking with me:
Crime: Overuse of terms of endearments
Likely to say: "Hello darling, how are you my darling? I'd like to see you today darling, when can I see you darling?"
Why it offends me: It's annoying, I am not your darling and if you annoy me in the first 3 seconds of a phone call I'm not going to tolerate an hour with you.
What you will be saved in my phone as: DNS (Do not see)
Crime: Asking a million questions
Likely to say: "Where are you? how old are you? Can you tell me what you look like? How much is it?"
Why it offends me: If you don't know these things about me, why have you decided to call me and if you tell me your mate gave you my number then I shall tell you to bloody ask him what I look like!
What you will be saved in my phone as: DNS (Do not see)
Crime: Getting off for free
Likely to say: How big are your breasts, are they full? Do your nipples get hard? Are you shaved? What will you wear for me? Are you horny?
Why it offends me: I can hear you wanking!
What you will be saved in my phone as: Phone Wanker
Crime: Boundary Pushing
Likely to say: Do you do anal/bareback/other service I don't offer? Oh but I'm small/clean/nice, I'm sure we'll get on really well, when you meet me you'll see I'm a gentleman...
Why it offends me: Just NO!
What you will be saved in my phone as: TWAT
Crime: Having a vivid imagination
Likely to say: My wife and I want to have a threesome. Now let me tell you a really long winded scenario about how I'd like the booking to happen. Oh, she is out at the moment, I'll get her to call you later.
Why it offends me: Your wife knows nothing of this you lying cunt!
What you will be saved in my phone as: TW (Timewaster)
Crime: Owning an enormous penis
Likely to say: I've got 10 inches can you take that much? I'm going to send you a photo! Are you sure you can take it? I've got good girth too!
Why it offends me: You've got a 4 inch winkle and you're never ever going to actually show up.
What you will be saved in my phone as: Cockwomble
Crime: Being Scary
Likely to say: Can we do a rape scenario? Can I tie you up and spit in your face? Can I take you dogging?
Why it offends me: No respect for my safety and security concerns, also I've never met you before!
What you will be saved in my phone as: DNS (Do not see)
Other things that make me be booked up for the next six months
1. What time are you open til?
2. What's your postcode? (as an opening line)
3. What girls have you got available? (Um Lydia, Lydia or Lydia)
4. Can I come now, I'm two minutes away. (when you don't know where I live and you haven't even said hello)
5. Can my mate come too?
6. Anything in an accent I can't understand.
7. If you're calling me when I can hear kids nearby (It weirds me out)
8. Would you fuck my dog for a grand (Yes, it happened)
9. I want you to pull my mate but not let him know I've paid you.
10. I want to meet you in a pub/in public (When I don't know them at all)
Am I too cynical?!
This month I spent some time ranting about The All Party Parliamentary Group on Prostitution and the Global Sex Trade (APPG) are launching an inquiry to assess the current UK legal settlement surrounding prostitution. They wish to identify how legislation to tackle demand could safeguard those in danger of sexual exploitation and abuse. I wrote about the issues that concerned me regarding the APPG in this blog and urged people to respond to the questionnaire. In fact I was so determined to get people to take note and respond I blogged a helpful breakdown of the questions, along with my answers.
Incidentally, the responses for this survey are due to be released in January 2014, so that'll be interesting.... watch this space.
I also had a photoshoot in January. Here is one of the photos:
Consisted of me both plugging my March tour to Reading and trying to convince people to romance me on Valentines day. Both failed miserably :(
I also wrote my first blog on my struggle with feminism and how I found it hard to relate to. As someone who of course believes in the equal rights of women, I found it hard to discover that many other women only want equal rights for a certain sort of women (ie. Not sex workers, the working class or anyone who they disapprove of) and that radical feminism has hateful views on sex work, transgender issues and all men.
The Easter Bunny with One Ear was one of my favourite stories I shared with you this year! The saga rumbled on into May too where I wrote about it again. I never did get a refund!
Other than being the oldest bunny in town I wrote a lot in March! Joan Smith pissed me off, I worried about Talking Dirty and I got pissed off again, this time with Melissa Farley and was inspired to write Why I made The Choice to become a prostitute by Brooke Magnanti who had written about Farley.
With April's showers came a long piece on porn, this took for-fucking-ever to write so you can read it again- it's a bit about the history of porn and inspired by me getting fed up with men who learn about sex from porn and therefore don't know how to do it properly!
I also dabbled in satire after Samantha Brick annoyed the entire nation yet again by announcing she was so beautiful other women hated her...
Finally, probably one of the hardest stories to write, but also one I am proud of being allowed to tell. It also highlighted the appalling rape conviction statistics and the Merseyside model in relation to Police attitudes to sex workers.
The Minxipedia was born!
AND I started a Twitter Storm!
Go May !
Oh, and then I got all angsty about feminism again!
Another tough blog- I wrote, for the first time about when I was outed at work. A hard one to write but something that a lot of people wrote to me and tweeted about which was lovely.
However, I also got slagged off by Mumsnet (I'm sure I need a T shirt for that) and in terrific news there was Victory for Scottish Sex Workers.
Part Two coming up tomorrow!
I am back from my last minute trip to Liverpool and reunited with my phone. i shall be working most of this week and trying to keep cool and maybe get a bit of a tan! I'm not one for sun worshiping- I get bored laying about and too much sun gives me a headache. I'm also (despite my other bad habits) quite obsessed about ruining my skin with too much sun and being burnt is very unattractive and painful. I don't want to end up all leathery and wrinkly and I'm really not that fussed about being brown. I shall continue to consider myself as a pale and interesting English rose!
I am about to go out and get me a fan for the boudoir. I was going to last year but by the time I got my act together the heatwave had gone away and I never got round to it. Of course no doubt everywhere will be sold out...
I have just had a quick look on Argos at the fans- I thought I'd get a tower one because they look more discreet and are meant to be quieter. As with everything these days they have a customer review section. I think they are meant to be helpful, but when 50% of people say the fan is very quiet and the other 50% say it is noisy it isn't actually very helpful! I really want a quiet one because a noisy fan is hardly a soothing sensual background noise is it?
Now am looking at good old John Lewis. I however can not justify a £350 Dyson fan and everything else is sold out!
*sigh* I must be more organised in future and not wait for hot weather to kick in and the world and his dog goes off fan buying!
Of course if the weather changes back to cold and wet it'll because I have actually purchased a fan...
I will get around to writing soemthing more inter
14 things everyone needs to know about me and my orgasms.
1. I never fake orgasms. Orgasms don't really matter to me (it's the trying to get one that's fun!). I would hate to be caught out as faking too, it seems a bit rude.
2. If you do want to make me come it can take ages. It's not your skills, it's me. Keep going and I will get there.
3. If someone mentions making me come I get fixated on wanting to come and then I can't.
4. I can only come whilst horizontal on my back. No idea if that's common or why.
5. I'm not noisy (unless I'm being banged really hard) . My lack of noise means I am enjoying myself. Frankly if I've stopped yakking you're doing it right!
6. I have never had a multiple orgasm. Once I have come that's it for a while.
7. In reference to number 6 if you try to keep prodding my clitoris after I have come to make me come again I am likely to shout or kick your head. It's just gets too sensitive.
8. I rarely come through penetrative sex, and when I do it's when I am on top.
9. I can make myself come in under 2 minutes. No man has ever got close.
10. The best way to make me come is by oral sex with a cheeky finger rubbing gently inside me.
11. I can get gushy, but that's not guaranteed. If I don't it's no reflection on you. If I do have a little gush, that's not an orgasm but it does feel damn nice.
12. Before I am about to come I go rigid and still. Is annoying when person dishing out orgasm thinks they are doing something wrong and stop at this crucial point. I am likely to shout 'Don't fucking stop!'
13. I have a habit of saying out loud 'I'm coming!' as I about to come. I try not to because it feels a bit cliched.
14. I learnt how to make myself come when I was about 8. Of course I didn't know what it was as such, just that it felt nice.
14 facts about animal sex. (No, not *that* kind of animal sex you perv!)
1. It's still unproven whether female animals have orgasms - but according to a researcher at The Kinsey Institute, rabbits and ferrets do. Apparently a film of two ferrets mating showed, "by the expression on the face that an orgasm did occur."
2. Male whales generate the highest volume of semen in the animal kingdom - about 20 litres a pop!
3. Lions can mate more than 50 times per day.
4. Pigs' orgasms last for 30 minutes.
5. Swans are the only birds with penises
6. Bonobos use sex as greetings, a mean of solving disputes, making up for fights, and as a favors in exchange for food. They tongue kiss, engage in oral sex, mutual masturbations, have face-to-face genital sex and even have a strange "penis fencing" ritual!
7. A female hyena has a pseudopenis, basically an enlarged clitoris, that they can erect at will. To mate, the meeker male has to insert his penis into her pseudopenis.
8. Galapagos giant tortoises mating can last for hours, during which the male grunts and roars loudly (I know some men like that!). But he has good reason to be excited, it takes 40 years for Galapagos giant tortoises to reach sexual maturity.
9. The shovel-shaped penis of the dragonfly scoops out the sperm of other suitors.
10. The rhinoceros penis is two feet long.
11. The poor male penguin has only one ejaculation a year.
12. The mosquito penis is one-hundredth of an inch.
13. Minks fornicate for up to eight hours at a time.
14. Chimpanzees spend no time on foreplay, averaging about three-seconds per copulation. (I know some men like this)
I was reading this blog about swinging for the single woman- Sex and the Swingle girl by Jemima in the It's just a hobby blog. It reminded me of a time when I was newly single, horny and looking for some no strings attached sex.
I met my husband when I was 25 and up until then my sex life had consisted of a few boyfriends and lots of drunken encounters. The world of swinging was just some vague notion of middle aged people trying to spice up their sex lives. Open relationships weren't a concept I had considered and although group sex was a wank fantasy I never thought I would encounter it. I never thought it would be something I would be brave enough to do and despite my various random and ridiculous encounters I had never happened across a threesome.
Then in 2007 when my marriage was well and truely down the pan and the husband was out the country (I was too scared to do anything naughty whilst he was in the country!) I discovered sex chat rooms on the internet and Gumtree (like Craiglist) which in those days had a NSA section. What a revelation! I had various MSN encounters which led to dirty phone calls and because my sex life had been put on hold (long story re shite husband), I had hit my 30's and had suddenly become aware of my sexuality and started to want to make some of my fantasies come true. I also just wanted some sex.
I had two encounters at my flat with men I had met online. They weren't great, the first guy was really shy and awkward and came on my leg within the first three minutes. Made no attempt to finish me off (or even start me off!) and I just didn't fancy him, couldn't be arsed to make a move on him and just wanted him to go away. The second man came round, fucked me vigorously and left very quickly. Whilst the thrill of being treated like this was very very exciting in some respects I did feel a bit used and whilst I wasn't looking for anything meaningful I did feel taken advantage of.
I then met a man from Liverpool in a chat room. We talked lots and had terrific phone sex as well as talking about other stuff too, a friendship I suppose. I went up to Liverpool to meet him at a hotel. We had an amazing time. I had oral sex for the first time in about nine years (yeah, he was a shit husband) and he came all over my face. This was something I became obsessed with. I had never had it done to me (Yes I was a slutty youth but it was all very tame!) and it was something really really wanted to do and I still love it now!
Liverpool boy was what I needed. He was a nice guy, not bad in bed (at the time I thought he was amazing but in retrospect that was only because I had been in the Sahara of sex for so long) and he did give me some of the sexual confidence I had lost. There was no chance of a relationship. I was married, he was miles away and had an on off complicated thing with a women he was madly in love with, but we got on and could be honest about our sexual desires, get some affection without any commitment or romance.
I then met a woman online (it's a long story and those who know me well enough will know why I'm not going to go into detail!) who was really into group sex, had gangbangs, picked up men in bars and had a boyfriend who enjoyed all this. I found it really difficult to comprehend how you could be happy watching the person you love fuck someone else, let alone a whole group of men. I guess she was the first person I met (I say met, we never met in real life, it was all by email!) who had an open relationship and participated in group sex. To me she was some sort of wildly exciting goddess who actually did some of the fantasies I had but never ever thought I would do!
After I left my husband (just under a year after my first encounter with Liverpool boy) I had barely unpacked my belongings in my new flat before I was online, gagging for sex, full of these amazing feelings of liberty and horniness! Thanks to Liverpool boy and an encounter with another man I met after LB but before I left my husband I was feeling sexy and attractive again. These men fancied me, they enjoyed fucking me and I didn't have to get them pissed for it to happen!
I had several months of fun. I picked up men online for purely sexual encounters. I wasn't interested in dating, getting to know them, I just wanted sex. It was even easier than shooting fish in a barrel! As a single woman online who wants sex without the dates I was in demand. A single advert on Gumtree would yield hundreds of responses. I was definitely in a buyers market! I had some great meets, some less so, but nothing awful. Some men I saw once (sometimes their choice, sometimes mine) and others I saw a few times.
I truely enjoyed it but I was getting to the stage that I was getting bored. The thrill of meeting strange men for sex did it for me (and still does!) but the sex was starting to get samey. I was starting to meet one man more often who I started to embark on a journey of sexual discovery with. He was someone I trusted, he had been in open relationships and was very keen to share me with other men.
He was the first man I ever enjoyed anal sex with, the first man to fist me, first man to pee on me, he gave me my first threesome. Firstly with another man and then one night we got a female escort on for my first girl on girl experience since I was 19! I did my first gangbang with him by my side and I was starting to understand the appeal of an open relationship. I started to *get* that it was possible to see someone you're really into shag someone else and not feel jealous, but hugely turned on by. Through these parties I met other men who I sometimes saw alone and once hosted a couples swinging night with one of them where I met a woman who I have since had several dalliances with and is still a great friend (sadly abroad now).
In the meantime I started escorting (after a foray on adult phone lines) so I really did't need to meet men as a single woman in the swinging world anymore. And NO I don't wish to either before anyone gets any bright ideas!
I'm not going to go into details about the swinging world. The blog link I gave you at the start of this is a great introduction.
NSA sex can be easy- it was for me when I was happily doing my picking men up and discarding them period but it can be complicated. It's really difficult not to keep jealousy out of it. It's hard not to let human emotions get in the way. I think there are very few people who are 100% comfortable with their partner whether it be a fuck buddy or a long term partner go off and shag other people, certainly more so for women than men. Call me sexist, but in my experience it's nearly always men who fantasise about watching their wife get fucked and very few women for the reverse. (Yes, I know I'm being terribly heterosexual!)
Fuck buddies or friends with benefits are all the rage these days. It doesn't just occur in the swinging scene, but with people who meet in the conventional way- at work, college, in the pub and still of course online through swinging sites, specific adult sex sights and even good old Twitter.
The key to a good fuck buddy relationship is communication and tact. Discussing what your relationship is about. Do you *just* do sex, or is it OK to do non sex stuff, like have a meal together or on a day out to the zoo. If these non sex events happen, both parties need to know that just because they are doing something other than shagging it doesn't mean anything. In my experience, both personally and knowing other people who have been in these situations often one half gets all panicky that the other wants more and withdraws. of course if one person does fall for the other and it's not mutual or convenient then things can get tricksy.
It can be a difficult balance to get it right. As much as we might be clear in our own minds that it's a NSA relationship it's not uncommon to suddenly feel a bit used if all you ever do is fuck or if one person leaves the minute they have come!
If one or both parties are also sleeping with other people there needs to be a level of tact employed. Some might find it a turn on to hear the salacious details, others will want to know nothing of your encounters elsewhere. However, even if you like the details, it can be hard to listen to your fuck buddy go on about how wonderful another woman is and how much he likes her!
So it can be complicated if you're both not on the same page and there are, as Jemima says in her blog the usual roll call of idiots, timewasters and trolls, but there are some fantastic genuine people out there!
If you're a woman and are interested in the swinging world do read Jemima's blog, if you didn't click on it before here it is again Sex and the swingle girl.
This blog didn't quite turn out how I had written it in my head a few days ago. The trip down memory lane wasn't planned, bu I enjoyed it and I hope you did too!
Last April I blogged a job description. Here is an updated version along with a person spec. This had taken me back to my old career and writing such things...
Want to work from home, choose your own hours and manage your own business?
Sexy sassy ladies required for unique opportunity!
Provide a high standard of service to clients with a wide range of experience and requirements. Promotion and administration also large area of responsibility in this role.
Specific Areas of Responsibility
Marketing and Public Relations- Responsible for updating adverts on relevant websites and external links. Reviewing pricing strategy as well as promoting tours and other events. Maintain presence on punting websites, forums and social media sites such as Twitter.
Webmaster- Building, designing and maintaining website as well as Adultwork profile. With responsibilities for SEO and analysing visit hits and other stats relating to website.
Secretarial- Responding to emails, Adultwork messages, Contact forms via website and emails. Answering telephone and diarising appointments. Effectively deal with timewasters and No Shows.
Accountant- Ensure NI contributions and tax paid. Keeping expense receipts and logging relevant information.
Writer- Writing Blogs, erotica and promotional waffle.
Stylist- Ensure lingerie and outfits maintained, stockings in stock, purchasing new items and planning outfits for clients and photoshoots.
Beautician- Maintain smooth skin, polished nails and manage hair removal. Booking hair appointments and other essential maintenance work. Manage make up collection. Schedule visits for sexual health check ups.
Counselor- In relation to sexual queries and issues, relationship advice and general soothing of clients worries.
Housekeeper/Stock Controller- Responsible for cleanliness of flat, clean bed linen and towels in particular.
Ensure essential items such as condoms, lube, tissues and babywipes are in plentiful supply.
Security- Maintaining own security and maximise discretion at home and during outcalls.
Person Specification- Essential Requirements
Talented cock sucker
Time keeping skills
Bubbles and boobs.
Think it's time for something a bit more lighthearted today seeing as it's a Friday. Because I am writing something bigger in my head (I really should learn to make notes so I don't forget it) you're only getting a list today.
Minor things that irritate escorts (in no particular order)
1. Getting showered change and beautified and 10 minutes away from client arriving and needing a pooh.
2. Having 3,618 stockings/holdups and NONE of them match.
3. Clients who use talcum powder on their bits and expect them licking *sneeze*
4. Clients who use my cucumber make up remover wipes in bathroom to wash cock. It smells like a cucumber, but boy, it doesn't look like one.
5. Being nearly made to come, but then stop at crucial point. If real life boyfriend would be able to shout 'DON'T FUCKING STOP!' Seems rude to be demanding of client.
6. Deciding if to eat before booking or after. No fun being full if have to bounce around but rumbling tummy not sexy.
7. Feeling conscious if cashier in bank is going to ask where you got all this money from.
8. Wearing whore clothes when the neighbour/postman/delivery calls.
9. Not knowing if men want to date you or get a free shag out of you.
10. Men who spunk all over fresh duvet cover/pillow/throw.
10a. Men who spunk up the bedroom wall!
A light hearted look into the types of escorts I have come across since I have been in this murky world.
The High Class Whore
Her profile reads: I am an exclusive, elite courtesan available to meet discerning gentlemen. I am highly educated, speak five languages and am a UN ambassador in my spare time.
What it really means: I like rich old men to buy me presents.
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: Nothing, she doesn’t mix with common prossies.
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: I charge £500 an hour because I only wish to meet discerning gentlemen whose company I will enjoy and who will appreciate my beauty.
What she most likes about the job: Rich old men buying her presents
What she hates about the job: Rich old men.
The Teen Whore
Her profile reads: I’m sooooo wet and horny for you :) I love sex and wanna be your cum bucket!!! J Your gonna be so hot 4me when you see my sexxxxxy schoolie ass! :) :) :)
What it really means: I’m skint and screwed up emotionally.
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: He wants me to pay him £60 in advance and wants to meet me in a deserted car park with 3 of his mates, do you think this is a scam?
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: Fuck off! I work how I want and no one messes with me!
What she most likes about the job: The cash
What she hates about the job: All of it but would never ever admit it.
The Hobby Whore
Her profile reads: I’m a very busy woman who loves sex. I’m young, fit and curvy in all the right places, I don’t show my face for discretionary reasons but everyone says I’m really pretty!
What it really means: I do this to supplement my minimum wage job and to buy pretty shoes, handbags and fake tan. I really don’t take this seriously, but I do think that I’m better than anyone else, especially those poor women who do it for a full time job.
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: I’m really busy and making a fortune!
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: Oh hunni, you’re so right! I agree with everything you say, I love all my clients!
What she most likes about the job: When she gets good sex and doesn’t have to do much.
What she hates about the job: Having to avoid shagging the ugly ones and wanking them hard to make them come some they’ll go away.
The Swinging Whore
Her profile reads: I’m a hot MILF who loves to fuck!
What it really means: Ooh it’s like swinging except with money!
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: My husband is always in the next room for security.
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: I’m an older woman and love doing this; I only do it for pleasure and like to spend time getting to know my clients. The money means nothing to me.
What she most likes about the job: She can do it when she’s in the mood and it’s better than shagging the hubby.
What she hates about the job: When the kids make a noise upstairs when bonking someone on the sofa.
The foreign Whore
Her profile reads: I am thin secy gril who love to meet nice men. I will do anal and without condom for extra £20
What it really means: Someone else has written my profile
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: Saafe? I do not have heard of this.
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: Why would I speak to them men on computor?
What she most likes about the job: Sending money home to her family, getting a client to buy her grandmother a goat.
What she hates about the job: All men.
The Agency Whore
Her profile reads: I’m 21, size 10 with a 36D bust! I love to party!
What it really means: I’m 29, size 14 with a 34C bust. I am a habitual coke user.
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: I can’t post much because I work all night and sleep all day.
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: She doesn’t.
What she most likes about the job: Free wine and hotel rooms
What she hates about the job: Shagging ten men a night.
Her profile reads: I'm a beautiful curvy girl with huge tits and a big bouncy arse!
What it really means: I'm fat
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: I'm a big girl and there are loads of men who book me so it's not all about being young and thin.
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: I'm a big girl and there are loads of men who book me so it's not all about being young and thin.
What she most likes about the job: Feeling smug when thin girls moan they are quiet.
What she hates about the job: The way she justifies to herself that has to stay this big for her business when feeling guilty about eating an entire cheesecake,
The Hardcore Whore
Her profile reads: Who knows, men just book her on the basis of her stunning photographs and array of excellent reviews.
What it really means: I’m fucking good.
What she’s most likely to say on Saafe: It’s all very easy, you need to advertise everywhere, tour your bollocks off, spend 24/7 thinking about business and have no life, but it’s worth it so I can spend the summer in Mauritius.
What she’s most likely to say on a punting forum: I'm booked up for the next 3 years so I really don’t have time to sit around on here.
What she most likes about the job: That’s she’s rich enough to take 6 months a year off and every other working girl is intimidated by her.
What she hates about the job: She can’t remember her real name any more.
Read this today somewhere on the internet (probably Twitter because I have become addicted and even did a happy dance when Caitlin Moran replied to one of my Tweets!)
"I like my coffee like I like my men; first thing in the morning before I'm barely awake"
Amused me, nothing nicer than slow, sleepy, warm cuddly sex and more original line than 'I like my coffee like I like my men; strong and dark'
Although I do quite like 'I like my coffee like I like my men; ground up and kept in the freezer'
So, how else can I compare how I like my men to coffee?
Hmmm, well I limit my coffee to two cups a day which is close enough to how I work, but I could easily have more men! I couldn't manage seven coffees at once, but I could certainly handle seven men! I don't have coffee after 4pm which is most definitely not how I like my men!
After much thought, here is my top ten of how I like my men and coffee (in no particular order).
I like my coffee, like I like my men...
1. ...Sitting on the kitchen counter
2. ...with a good head
4. ...every morning without fail
5. ...available on my whim
6. ...able to perk me up in an instant
7. ...with a teaspoon sticking out of them
8. ...to smell good
9. ... spilled all down my tits
(I got stuck at number 7)
I've been a bad girl again and not been blogging. *bends over for a smacked bottom*
It seems I get phases of rampant blogging and then periods of writers block. I say writers block, that makes me sound more of a 'writer' than I actually am! I suppose it's mainly because I don't know what to blog about sometimes and getting into a habit of not doing it rather than doing it!
So, what is new? Well, last week I had a couple of days on the coast which was fun. This week I haven't done much other than work and sit about being rubbish. I should have been researching and compiling intelligent and exciting blogs for you to read I suppose.
I do have a nice photo for you though from the seaside:
Pretty huh? Probably not quite the kind of picture you were hoping for dear reader, but as well as not writing anything much I haven't taken any saucy photos either. Must get back on track!
Oh, was thinking about Christmas, am a bit unsure what I am actually doing over the Christmas period and found myself wondering would there be any worth in working Christmas day? Would I get booked, is it worth promoting? Thoughts on a postcard.