delve a little deeper....
I am still here, madly writing blogs in my head when I wander around the shops or am on the bus or doing something when I don't have access to my laptop. Then of course my inspired thoughts fall out of my head when it gets rounds to actually writing stuff down.
I also had a laptop failure followed by an internet outage which bollocked up all chances of me updating my availability let alone actually writing anything of interest! I also lost all my files and photographs from my laptop so am cross about that and have been recovering anything I can from various sources! The joys of technology!
In other news I have been to Lisbon, which was wonderful. Lovely and warm, good food, lots of walking, great company, mad waiters, lots of history and sangria!
I have a few snaps for you! I'll get writing soon! :)
As you may be aware I had Bibi staying with me last weekend and has written up a rather fabulous booking we did together.
It is here and I suggest you read because it saves me from writing anything for your amusement today! (hee hee!) and it really explains our naughty good cop/bad cop session rather well!
Before you ask, Bibi is based in Leeds so duos are not easily arranged on a whim! We are however quite happy to be flown in your private jet to a mutually convenient location! :)
Whilst Bibi was here I did some photographs for her. I'm rather pleased how they worked out and it gave me a chance to experiment with my lovely phone camera.
Here are a few of my favourite shots! I figured you're all bored of my tits now so take a look at Bibi's and admire my photography skills. Maybe I should think about lending myself out for photo shoots for naughty ladies!
Anbd if you've not read Bibi's blog about our duo session here it is again!
With it being nearly Easter I thought I would get into the spirit and acquire myself a bunny outfit. Like a Playboy bunny rather than a furry cute one!
I ordered a 'sexy' bunny set from eBay which included ears, a bow tie and tail. It arrived a couple of days later having forked out for the faster delivery option because I wanted to ensure it arrived by Thursday. was most disappointed to discover that the ear headband only had one ear attached to it. Checked everywhere to see if the ear had fallen off into the packaging or on the floor. No bunny ear to be found.
I was a one eared bunny
A hot cross bunny even.
So, whilst I did go and buy another set of ears I didn't really like them as the were cute and furry and pink and not very Playboy bunny-ish.
Here is an excerpt of a complaint email I never thought I would have to write:
My bunny ear set arrived today, but I most disappointed to find that the headband had only one bunny ear attached. This is most inconvenient as I am meant to be being an Easter bunny on Thursday.
I can return the faulty set to you- I have not removed the tail or bowtie from the set as yet but I would like a full refund including postage costs.
Quite how whoever sent this didn't realise that a bunny ear headband should have two ears attached to it I do not understand.
Please send instructions as to who I should send it to and any refund number I need to include to ensure I get my refund asap. There was no paperwork in the package to complete a return form.
For amusement, here are some snaps of me in bunny outfit as the one eared bunnygirl
And here is a very very naughty bunny.
PS: Thank you to my gorgeous photographer xxx
I started this post in February after my photoshoot. See here for some of the results and I had a lovely post all written in my head and then I abandoned actually writing it after four words. I did mean to come back to it, but I got sidetracked (mainly by bonking and Angry Birds).
Today, I have finally got back to it!
For me, having my photograph taken is no fun. i don't like it, I'm a lousy model and am super critical of myself. It makes it even more difficult when you're having pictures taken for escorting purposes.
Firstly there is a certain amount of anonymity required. I'm not as paranoid/careful as many women because I'm pretty 'out' with regards to my family and friends, but I'm still not a fan of full on face shots. The hiding of face things makes things much trickier for the photographer- indeed most photographers are used to the face being the focus when taking pictures of people and I'm not a huge fan of the head severed off by cropping look.
Secondly, it's important to get the tone of the photographs right. We all know that the service I am selling is about sex and whilst I prefer to attract men beguiled by my wit, charm and grace (ha ha) I know that the body is important when many men choose a woman.
However, I'm not overly keen on having legs akimbo, flaps out pictures gracing my website. I think many men prefer a little bit of allure and mystery in a woman and quite frankly if a chap is going to pick me on the basis of what my cunt looks like opposed to what it (she?) can do then I'm really not that fussed about seeing such a gentleman.
I am also aware that part of my appeal to some men is that I am on the voluptuous side and have big boobs so therefore I should be proud of my curves (aka fat bits) but I couldn't help part of my brief to the photographer being 'Make me look as thin as possible!'
Fortunately my snapper did not run for the hills at the ridiculousness of this request and did totally get the difference between looking curvy in a flattering sexy way and looking like a lump.
I also fret, and this so isn't fishing for compliments that because the pictures of me do look lovely and are flattering I may actually disappoint when men arrive to see me for the first time. Sometimes they are kind enough to say my pictures don't do me justice or tell me I'm beautiful but sometimes I worry that some men aren't as impressed.
I suppose much of it is the insecurity that most women have about their looks and when you're in a world where women are constantly judged on their looks it's hardly surprising. I use the word 'world' in two contexts.
The escorting world is about looks to a huge degree. You only have to read punting forums to see men discussing what kind of bodies, tummies, legs, boobs, bums, pussies and clit sizes they prefer as well as slating a woman's looks in reports. The following are real quotes taken from escort reviews (all about different women):
"a little heavier than her photos would suggest"
"She's got a long, thin face, and her teeth are long as well, a bit "rodent" like. "
" A pleasant enough woman but a bit of a dog to be honest. The photos are brilliantly taken. The reality is less alluring. "
" her boobs are all falling like an old 60 years old.
"Her boobs, although large, are oddly shaped and she has what looks like a 3" scar below her navel. "
So, you might winder why I struggled with the concept of looking as lovely as possibly but not out to deceive anyone! You might also understand why many women who are escorts are in a perpetual state of worry about their appearance!
I am fairly fortunate that I do know I have my niche based on various things other than just my looks (aside the big tit thing) and I am kind of glad I'm not young, dumb, thin and pretty because those women do get the kind of men who are all about fucking based purely on animal lust (and not in the good way).
The wider 'world' we live in is just as ridiculous when it comes to judging women on their looks, but I shall save that as a separate blog post for later.
And so it came to pass, Lydia had pictures taken, she was rubbish at posing, couldn't smile properly and whinged about looking podgy.
Here's one of the results!
In case you missed them on Twitter, here is one of my lovely new photos!
Have been meaning to blog about the photo shoot but kept getting distracted! Will try and do a post later next week.
In verrrry exciting news I will be available for duos with the lovely Bibi between January 26th-30th in Hounslow. Here's a pic of her and here is her website.
We will be available for duos (we're both bi and love to play!) as well as individually on those dates.
For duos we will be charging £120 for 30 minutes, £200 for an hour and £300 for 90 minutes. For longer sessions give me a call to discuss! We will also be available for outcalls in the Heathrow area.
Am very excited and can't wait to get my hands on her lovely assets!
Decided to do some quick fun Christmas snaps of myself this afternoon to please my dear readers.
Made a backdrop with a festive red blanket up against the bit of wall under the window with a can of tinned tomatoes and a jar of Lloyd Grossman Tomato & Basil pasta sauce holding it down on the window sill.
Found gold tinsel to wrap provocatively around bosom, set camera on coffee table and put it on timer taking ten shots in a row to save time. Posed and wiggled towards camera. All blurred because for some reason camera decided it was a macro shot. Repeated. Still all blurry, Looked at camera and couldn't work out how to stop it making its own mind up.
Decided to take more pictures holding camera myself. Rolled about aiming camera in direction of body snapping away feeling like David Bailey. Then managed to pull blanket so tin and jar fell off. Thank God did not land on face and break teeth. All the shots so far were shit anyway.
Tried some more laying down holding camera above head to get shots of body still provocatively wrapped in tinsel. Mis-aimed and took picture of wall and sofa.
Did some sitting up ones with a mini Christmas tree between boobs. I thought it would be 'fun'. It wasn't, just looked mental and managed to scratch self. Then noticed a spot on boob as glowing as Rudolph's red nose. Cried.
Have given up. Sorry.
In other festive news I got it to snow on my home page