delve a little deeper....
I know I have been rubbish lately at blogging, but I have a couple in the pipeline as well as awaiting on guest blogs from a few people who have kindly agreed to contribute to the Minxipedia! (Hint hint, hurry up!)
In other news, I have started a Swedish Massage course organised by Hands On Pro!, a professional development and skill sharing project devised by the Sex Worker Open University and X:Talk, two sex workers’ cooperatives based in London.
They are also hosting breakfast before the classes on Wednesday mornings so if you are a sex worker and even if you don't fancy the classes you can still come along to meet other sex workers.
Trust me, it's really friendly and welcoming and there are people from all over, in a variety of sex work fields. I was really nervous when I went, but it is genuinely lovely and it's a great feeling being able to discuss work stuff with like minded people. Also, fascinating to hear what other people get up to and get ideas and advice. The link is here along with their contact details if you'd like to attend.
Of course being taught a bit more about massage means I will be hoping some of my clients would like to be practised on! I'm no expert yet, but a nice oily massage is always a good way to get things started! :)
Am working right up to Christmas this year, but am away for a bit over the period, but probably back in London for the New Year. Do get booking for your pre Christmas present to yourself!
I was asked the other day for tips on how to give a good hand jobs. On initial sight of this question I thought, well there's not much to it is there? I mean there's one general technique, it's not complicated. However, having thought about it and trying to be careful I ended up thinking that actually, there is a bit to be said about handjobs.My tits, someone's cock, I forget who.
Handjobs are fairly low down the order of kinky things and are often pushed aside for their more exciting cousin the blowjob.
Handjobs however are most people's first foray into sex. Of course, boys start the process of discovering their sexuality by touching their own cocks and knocking one out into a sock (or something) as teenagers. Therefore it stands to reason by the time most men become sexually active with an actual woman (or man) they have developed a finely tuned wanking technique which probably takes them through for the rest of their wanking days.
When I was 17 my boyfriend told me my handjob technique was "nearly as good as me doing it myself"! I was a bit offended at the time, but looking back now there was no greater compliment. I think almost everyone can get themselves off more efficiently than anyone else, (I can make myself come in under 2 minutes, no bloody man can!)
I think for many men having someone else do it is more erotic and exciting. I have been told more than once by clients that they were fed up with DIY hence a visit to me. Of course the visual (men are VERY visual) of having someone do it makes it more exciting and less like hard work particularly if it ends with an ejaculation over the face or tits!
Nearly all sexual encounters consist of a wanking. It's part of foreplay, even if it isn't a vigorous wank, touching the penis is an essential part of foreplay and for most men they would rather lose a leg than their penis so feel honoured to have your hands on it and treat it nicely!
Professionally, I do a lot of penis-to-hand work, to get things going, to tease and to finish off. With some men not liking condoms or being able to come with one on the happy ending often comes from some hand action. A wank is also perfect for those extra cautious about health and don't want to risk an uncovered blowie.
So is there a right way and a wrong way to give a handjob?
The answer to that is No. All men like to be touched differently. Some like it held gently, others harder, the speed a man can prefer varies and there is a big difference between wanking circumcised and uncircumcised willies. The ones with a foreskin are generally easier to do the up and down motion with, but then some have really tight foreskins and you don't want your over enthusiasm to split anything! Some men like to keep the glans (bellend) of the penis covered with the foreskin and some like it pushed back.
So, the secret is is to find out. All men like it done differently and there are no hard and fast rules.
Here is a list of my handy hints. Please note for ease I am referring to a woman giving the handjob here, of course I am aware men give other men handjobs. Also, I am not incorporating anything about blowjobs because even though I know the two often go together I want to give the handjob the spotlight today!
1. Communicate. Chaps, if you want it done differently then say so, in a nice way. Barking NOT LIKE THAT! isn't going to work, just say 'Can you hold it a bit tighter?' (or whatever) or move the hand to a good position yourself. Women, ask him if it's OK, ask him how he likes it? There's something hot in itself by being vocal and wanting to please the man.
2. Be Aware. Listen and watch for what works for him. See when he moans or groans.
3. If still in doubt tell him you love to see a man wank himself and then watch how he holds himself! Mutual masturbation in itself is very sexy, but also use it to figure out how he likes it! You might be surprised. Some men hold it at what looks like a really weird angle.
4. Be gentle to start. Don't hold too tightly or yank it about. Should I have to say this? Use a slight twisting motion, This is easier to do than straight up and down especially if he is circumcised. Going slowly is also a good teasing method and if you're not in a rush then why make him spurt before he's had time to enjoy it?
5. Use all your hand. Use your fingers to caress the tip of the penis, if there's precum dab it up with your finger. Stroke your fingers up and down the shaft gently, use your palm with out gripping for another sensation. Cover the entire cock too, from base to tip! A firmer grip at the bottom and a more gentle one at the head is usually a good rule.
6. Don't forget to pay attention to the sensitive corona (the ridge where the head meets the shaft) and frenulum (the thin ridge that runs the length of the underside of his penis). Taking time to massage these areas will work wonders!
7. Don't forget the balls. Unless a man tells you otherwise these should be handled with care. But incorporate cupping them with your hand and maybe a VERY gentle squeeze. Run your finger up and down his perineum- the bit between the base of the balls and his anus.
8. Be enthusiastic! Smile, look like you're enjoying it even if you're not. A bored expression is not sexy, nor is reading your book (unless you're reading him a dirty story) or watching telly at the same time.
My hand, don't my nails look good?!
9. Remember men are visual. Make porny faces, give him a dirty look (as in naughty, not a glare!) or a cheeky wink. Talk to him, tell him you love how his hard dick feels in your hand, tell him you want him to come all over your tits, tell him you want his spunk.
10. Lube is good. I find for foreskinless men this really helps with the up and down motion and if it's taking time then is essential to stop chaffing. You can give your hand a rest while you find and apply the lube!
11. Use two hands. Link your fingers together with his cock in a clasp. Again, no squeezing too tightly!
12. Use other body parts. Rub his cock across your breasts and nipple or tap it on your cheek. There's something quite submissive about that move which can be very exciting. Of course if appropriate there is always the older cousin the tit wank to mix it up a bit and to give your hands a break and to prolong the moment.
Some men are into footjobs, but I suggest you find out first, some might find it a bit weird if they are not foot fetishists and it's probably one to suggest for some fun if you've known your partner for a while.
13. Change your position. Between his legs- works well if you want to dangle your boobs at him, by the side of him so he can reach you, on your knees looking up at him, laying side by side so you can kiss and so on. No reason why you need to stay in one place or in the same position every time.
14. The build up to the end usually means speeding up, but again this varies from man to man (Why don't they all come with an instruction manual?). Think where he is going to come. I personally love being come on, but not everyone does and some men would be horrified at the notion. I ask to find out. 'Where do you want to come?' is a pretty sexy line in itself. Be watchful towards the end, a second of broken concentration can result in ruined hair or wallpaper.
So there you go! Happy Wanking!
This post is dedicated to my new friend! She knows who she is!
I went for a massage today. My neck and shoulders have been really sore, achey and knotted as hell and seeing as noone has come to my rescue I thought I would go see a professional.
So, here I present to you, in the style of a Punternet Field report....
Date:Thursday 18th Oct 2012
Time of Day:13.00
Type of Visit: Incall
Time Spent:45 minutes
Her Place: A small room in the back of a barbers shop. Clean, dimly lit with candles, although I did think the two men having their hair cut knew what I was up to, which might put off the easily embarrassed.
Description: Young slender EE girl, with long black hair, dressed in black. The picture on her website was a true representation of her. Nice tits.
Comments: I was asked to remove my dress and bra and lay face down on the massage table. She put on some nice plinky plonky piano music, which in my opinion is much better than rainforest music or whale noises that some masseuses favour. Pianos don't make we need a wee. She asked me what I wanted and I told her that I needed my neck and shoulders sorting out. She was very efficient and soon had me purring with happiness as she rubbed her hands over my back and worked her fingers into my knots. The occasional finger brushed past my breast which was all very exciting and I wondered if I could ask for a happy ending. What happened next gentlemen, shall remain between me and the young lady in question, but I can assure you I left floating on air and with a smile on my face.
Recommended: Yes, she tutted at my knotted neck and told me I needed to get seen too regularly and I think I will!
Would You Return: Yep
I sometimes get enquiries about massage so I thought I would add a little something about me and massage.
Firstly, I never quite know whether a man actually wants a massage when he asks me this on the phone or if he means a massage in the wink wink nudge nudge sense. Afterall massage parlours are really euphemisms for brothels and there is a big trade for massages with a happy ending. Of course I assume he means in the wink wink nudge nudge sense because, well you wouldn't be calling me if you actually needed a chiropractor or osteopath would you?! I have many talents but physio isn't one of them! But when a man calls for a massage I need to know if he wants a massage at all or if he means I want a blow job and a shag! Both is allowed of course!
Anyway, I am happy to do a Minxy massage, but I don't profess to being an expert and I am certainly not trained or qualified and nor do I have a massage table but I do give massages and noone seems to have complained! I think it's s nice way to relax before the nitty gritty and there must be a sense of anticipation about knowing that at some point you'll be asked to turn over and have your penis lovingly caressed!
There is something very sensual about feeling the touch of somebody's hands on your skin and it's very erotic for me to slide my boobs across your back and run my fingers gently up your thigh, riiiight the way to the top! The bonus of my boobs getting covered in oil means a nice oily tit wank is also on the cards and everyone likes one of them don't they?!
I keep some massage oils in as well as baby oil so the choice is yours, but a note of caution is required! Oils do bad things to latex! It eats up condoms causing them to be more susceptible to breaking and splitting. Therefore if we do end up getting covered in oil you won't be getting any penetrative sex unless you're willing to have a break for us both to have a soap down to ensure all is safe!
Water or silicone based lotions/lubes can be used as they don't contain any oil, but I've found them to be a bit on the sticky side and not as good- any suggestions of good ones gratefully received. I might pick some up later and try another brand though.
I am also very happy to be massaged myself, I get dreadful knots in my shoulders (too much time at the laptop and on all fours being bonked or sucking cock I think!) so if you're inclined to offer as part of our session I won't turn you down!