delve a little deeper....
I have never been a massive fan of camming if I'm really honest. Not because I don't like getting my bits out and playing with myself for the pleasure of a man (or woman) via webcam (cos I really do!) it's all the sitting about waiting for someone to appear that I find dull and demoralising! Or that thing where people look at you for 3 seconds and then leave making you think 'Oh, so he didn't fancy me!' :( The other thing was, if it was busy in a group session it'd get really confusing as what to do if multiple people were asking different things or if someone said Oh please go put a pair of red pants on I'd do so only to come back and find he had logged out. Frankly, the whole thing was a pain in the arse.
However, it was hit upon after conversation with Sarita that what I could do was offer camming bookings via Skype. This way clients can make actual bookings for a specific time and with requests for outfits or how they want things to go in the same way as making a real life booking! They'd get a private session with noone interrupting and exactly what they want from me!
So I have set myself up the webcamming/Skype bit on Adultwork so click the link and have a look!
You need to pay credits via adultwork which means registering, but it's pretty simple and safe as far as I have experienced.
So for those of you who live too far away to come and play or haven't the time to get over, or if you're nervous about booking why not book a quick cam session to break the ice why not book a camming session for a gossip or some super sexy cyber sex?!
I think it's a perfect win/win solution to my camming frustrations! :)
A lighthearted (or possibly catty) view of some of the types of men one can encounter on punting forums. With apologies to Roger Hargreaves
Mr Know It All
He is: The Long term hobbyist.
Likes: Writing reviews, boasting, saying the same thing over and over again.
Dislikes: Being questioned on his opinions
Most likely to say: I've been punting for 78 years and have punted with 68,000 women including Eskimo and Inuit women. I've had some right stunners in my time!
He is: Appalled he has to pay for sex
Likes: Soho walk ups
Most likely to say: I don't know why these girls think they can charge more than £30 an hour. Most of them are chunky and nothing much to look at anyway. I've had some great punts for £10 and who cares if they don't speak English as long as they are fit and let me bang their pert arses I'm happy!
He is : New and nervous
Likes: Asking questions, a lot of questions.
Dislikes: Living at his mums
Most likely to say: I've been lurking here for 4 years and I think I'm ready to lose my virginity. Who do you recommend? What shall I ask for to make my first punt special, anal or bondage? I'm really scared I'll get ripped off or catch a disease. Does clingfilm work instead of a condom?
He is: The moraliser caught between guilt and lust.
Likes: Telling married men they deserve all they get if they get caught. Saying he is never ever ever punting again.
Dislikes: Believing that escorts enjoy what they do
Most likely to say: Escorts fake everything! or How could you treat your partner like this?! You disgust me!
He is: On a never ending quest for a hooker girlfriend
Likes: Thai women
Dislikes: Being told he is a fool
Most likely to say: I have a really great rapport with this girl, I know she likes me as she has stopped charging, but I'm paying her rent and I'm paying to fly her brother over to the UK. I think it's love because I'm sure she doesn't see any other men anymore.
He is: The one that starts pointless threads
Dislikes: Most things
Most likely to say: Don't you just hate it when a woman's wallpaper doesn't match your pants? And what about avocado bathroom suites? Vile! I emailed this girl ten whole minutes before I arrived asking for pink lacy knickers, a halterneck dress and purple lipstick and she didn't even bother!
He is: Pretending to be nice but is a stalky creep
Likes: Telling women where they are going wrong
Dislikes: Being told after meeting 3 women he is not a world authority on escorting.
Most likely to say: I'm a perfect gent, it's all about pleasuring the lady. I even tell her how she can improve her website and make herself look prettier. I often bring biscuits along and stay for ages chatting and we email or text daily. I'm really upset my last lady got an injunction out on me.
You may or may not be aware of THIS webpage. The point it is trying to prove is a little vague. The site says:
Before I start with this blog I need to say I know I am coming from this as a privileged escort. I choose who I see, I don't have to see everyone who calls me, noone controls me and I genuinely love my job. I am fully aware many women do not have this and whenever I write about how fortunate I am or about issues regarding criminalisation I try to be mindful of this. So, before I continue, I AM aware that some men are twats and some women are unhappy and abused. I am just putting an alternative view on the Invisible Men project.
Each day on this website there is a picture of a mask with words taken from the Punternet review section.
Now reviews, they can really help with establishing an escorts reputation and certainly increase hits to a website. My reviews have always been pretty kind and complimentary. They usually give me a warm fuzzy glow and I am not offended by them or feel objectified by them. Again, I am lucky I get to see lovely respectful clients.
However, I must admit sometimes I read reviews and I do feel for the woman. They can be brusque, demeaning and personally insulting to a woman. On the other hand, like in any service industry there will be good and bad and views are subjective. The point of 'bad' reviews is to let people know what to expect in the same way that we might research a new laptop, restaurant or tattooist.
Choosing an escort can be tricky. I have heard many stories of men finding it hard to get a reply from women on Adultwork. There are tales aplenty of bad service and of men being ripped off or threatened by heavies as as well as a concern from many men that they might pick someone who is trafficked, forced or really doesn't want to do the job. Trust me, most men are not abusers and most men want no part in using the services of an unwilling woman. They also have to look out for themselves. They are parting with a lot of hard earned money, they often nervous about discretion and might have a limited time slot. As a minimum they need an escort who will be where she says she is at the agreed time, provide the services he requires and make him feel she is enjoying it too. On top of that he might desire a safe area to park his car, a woman who is able to converse in good English or who has natural boobs.
It's not uncommon to hear of women stretching the truth about their age or dress size. Whilst I believe sexiness goes deeper than how old you are or how much of a tummy a customer has a right to make these choices. If you really fancied a steak and chose a restaurant which promoted it's wonderful aged Scottish steak then showed up to find that they were only serving vegan food that night, however yummy the bean and lentil stew might be you're going to be pissed off.
Review sites exist to help men choose the right escort for them and to check out if she is what she says she is.
The Invisible men project has clearly cherry picked quotes to shock and outrage. The graphics help create an image of faceless women with no features and are nothing more than a price tag. There has been much applauding of the project and from the responses on this Mumsnet thread it's clear the aim and result was to shock and disgust people. Comments include:
"certainly gives the reality of prostitution. so sad."
"Well, yes - because they are using women as objects - they might as well be toasters for all they care."
"Really sad - this is the reality of prostitution. None of that happy hooker nonsense."
"You can't respect men like this. There is no way the women they pay to be with respect them or think anything much of them, regardless of what these deluded freaks might think."
"Nooo, the basis of the argument is that men who use prostitutes are utter cunts."
And before I get accused of cherry picking, there were a couple of attempts by posters to question the project, but they were quickly shouted down and 90% of the comments were expressing disgust and supporting the project.
This New Statesman article by Helen Lewis attempts to be unbiased but clearly is supportive of the project and only looks as far as the words written and without any context.
And what of lovely things men say? No examples of them at all. Here are a few quotes from my own Punternet reviews:
Thanks Lydia for reminding me how good sex can be.
We had a chat about this and that and Lydia gave me another blowjob, however, I decided to wank myself over her tits, a brilliant end to a great great first punt!
To say that Lydia specialises in this (anal play) would risk ignoring all her other lovely skills, but she was careful, gentle and considerate as she introduced me to some new experiences.
Beautiful sparkly eyes with the naughtiest glint in them, a wonderful smile and a cracking figure: curves in *all* the right places and the *most* fantastic boobs it has been my pleasure to come across...
Treat her with the utmost respect gents, Lydia is one in a million.
with great natural boobs and a friendly, intelligent face.
Hardly insulting or objectifying are they?! Do they sound like monsters who hate women? No.
So let's look at some examples used on the project and see them from a different stance..
"She expertly began oral on my bare cock slowly at first then with a little help at a faster pace occasionally holding her head down impaled on my cock while she gagged and choked but never wavered - extremely professional young lady!"
You know, there are women who enjoy gagging and choking (not me though, but I know some who do!). Who is to say whether she enjoyed it or not. I have found the original review and it ends:
"Very nice friendly & willing young girl thoroughly recommended!"
Doesn't sound like she was miserable and unwilling to have this done to her does it? Those who are appalled by this review are judging it on their own personal sexual preferences. Here is another...
"Disappointing started with OWO which she reluctantly performed"...."she wouldn't kiss nor would she let me touch her fanny"
Yes, this does sound as if the woman was unhappy in her job. The writer of the review ends with a question over whether she does the job by choice or not. The tone of the words doesn't suggest he relished the booking, for all we know he went home and felt like shit about it and vowed to research harder next time. His review, if it is a true reflection on what happened is a fair warning to other men, whether on a harsh 'Don't waste your money lads' level or a saddened 'Don't be part of this poor woman's unhappy life' level we don't know.
One more- Look at this:
Sounds pretty horrible when reading doesn't it? Sounds as if she was abused and used. Here is the full report
The reviewer says:
Nicha is very attentive. I was undressed, caressed, kissed and made to feel at home
Many WGs have said the head of my cock is quite large and Nicha certainly had problems getting it into herself. Once in though, she rode me like the Pony Express.
whenever I pulled my cock out and thrust it back in, she cried out in pain, but never asked me to stop. Fake of course but done so well that it was fantastic.
Nicha is quite lovely, has a fantastic body and good tats if that turns you on. She fucks like an animal, got soaking wet from all the cunt juice and will take a bit of rough. The woman is practically perfect.
Doesn't that full review make it sound like a two way street? The reviewer sounds Ok doesn't he? Yes, the language is graphic but I don't think he is the sadistic, rapist brute he comes across in the few words The invisible Men project chose to use. I'm fairly confident Nicha enjoys this kind of sex or at least is highly professional.
The anti prostitution movement will do anything to try and further their cause. I have written enough about my personal feelings of the job and have always made it clear that I am not blinkered to the suffering and abuse of others and I feel that help should be given to those who are abused and desperately want out. I don't deny their are some nasty men who pay for sex, but will always make the point that many are lovely and 'normal'.
Why can't everyone see there are many sides to the industry and those who use dirty tactics such as The Invisible Men Project use their time more productively?
Please take note the new header to my blog.
This came about from a throwaway comment made by a young man called Starsalign in the Punternet chatroom. I had just sent him a link to an informative blog I had written on roleplay and he said that having read another how to.. article of mine my blog was like a encyclopedia, nay! A Minxipedia! I thought this was a fab new word and became determined to use it somehow.
This is how it works:
1. A girl or young woman who is considered pert, flirtatious, or impudent.
2. Obsolete A promiscuous woman.
A comprehensive reference work containing articles on a wide range of subjects or on numerous aspects of a particular field
The Greek phrase is enkuklios paideia, made up of enkuklios, "cyclical, periodic, ordinary," and paideia, "education," and meaning "general education." Copyists of Latin manuscripts took this phrase to be a single Greek word,enkuklopaedia, with the same meaning, and this spurious Greek word became the New Latin word encyclopaedia, coming into English with the sense "general course of instruction," first recorded in 1531. In New Latin the word was chosen as the title of a reference work covering all knowledge. The first such use in English is recorded in 1644.
So, I came up with this:
The blog of a young (ish) flirtatious, promiscuous woman containing work on a variety of subjects, but mainly on sex work, sex and general ramblings to educate and amuse. First used in 2013.
Oh and obviously I use the Name Minxy!
I didn't think it was worth categorising my various blog in an encyclopedia style elsewhere when anything can be easily searched for using the search tool on my website and nothing really needs to be recorded twice on the internet so I decided to rename my blog The Minxipedia.
And there we go Stars, you now have internet fame!
Some of you may have seen the Channel 4 documentary (Sex on Wheels- link to 4oD here) last night which followed four disabled people and their quest for sex. It's always fascinating for me to watch things about sex and sexuality and even more so when escorts are part of the mix.
I don't think many people really understand prostitution to be about something more than trashy looking, down on their luck types desperate to make money or the beautiful, glamorous 'high call' call girl types who get jetted round the world, so anything that changes those perceptions is a good thing. Rarely are escorts viewed as girl next door types, motherly, intelligent thoughtful or kind. We tend to be slotted into desperate crack whore or beautiful but manipulative pigeon holes. But this documentary wasn't really about us hos, it was about people who aren't able to have a conventional sex life for various reasons.
John is 26 and has learning difficulties, his mother booked him an escort to enable him to spend some time with a woman and lose his virginity. I can understand how having your mother book you an escort can be considered weird and creepy, but in John's case his mother has had to guide him through life a little more carefully than those with less vulnerable children. As much as she wants John to have a 'normal' life she will be aware that his vulnerability could lead to him being taken advantage. The fact she can bring herself to consider his sexual needs too, something most parent's don't really want or need to think about makes her pretty remarkable.
Carl was a self confessed stud in his time. He talked candidly about the kind of sex he used to get up to (lot's of and in as many places as possible!). He was then rendered paralysed from the waist down in an accident and all that changed. He is now in a wheelchair and can not get an erection or ejaculate. However, the feelings and urges a man (or woman) gets do not necessarily change due to disability. Carl is still the same person and it appeared that losing his sex life was something he coped with less well than he ability to walk.
I once did a survey (not a very scientific one) and asked lots of men if they had to lose either a leg or their penis which would they choose. The result was overwhelmingly high on the losing the leg side! Most men didn't have to think for a second to answer that losing their cock would be much worse than losing a leg!
The documentary showed Carl undertaking various forms of drugs and therapy to try and stir his penis back to life. He had a session with a psychosexual therapist (they used another title for her, but I can't remember what it was) who was attempting to find new ways of arousing him. From what they showed it was very much about sensual body to body contact and not focusing on the penis. Whilst she did not have full sex with him and it was billed as therapy I don't think what she did was very different to how a good escort would deal with the same situation. Pete said at the end that it was the first time he had had a proper hug his since his accident. That I think is probably as much what he missed as full sex, but hadn't realised it.
Anyone who has been in this game will know that whilst caressing and sucking the penis is what most men ultimately want body contact and a more sensual approach is often what is required and what many men miss when they pay for sex. It's not all about the assumed 'fucking a hole' thing many assume sex work is about.
The third person who appeared on a documentary was a young man called Pete with cerebral palsy who dreamed of becoming a porn star. He obviously had the usual urges a man of his age has despite being physically very limited. He was shown going through escort websites and discussing the kind of woman he liked- no different from the process many men go through- is it less palatable because Pete was operating his computer mouse with a stick in his mouth?
Finally Leah was a young woman with brittle bone disease and wheelchair bound. She said she was looking for a husband. Whilst she had had lots of sex she was aware that many men choose to sleep with her because it was something different for them to do, ticking a disabled woman off their tick list. She really wanted to change and meet a nice man rather than a one night stand. All her good intentions went to pot as they showed her on a night out, pissed up and going home with another man whose attitude reeked of using her as a novelty shag. I'm sure some will critisise her of being a bit of a slut, but actually she does no different to many young women and if showing that disabled people are actually the same as the rest of us in many ways was an aim of this programme then that was achieved.
I think the documentary gave a great balance between showing the difficulties disabled people face as well as showing they also have some of the same issues, concerns and needs in life as non disabled people.
The worst thing last night was reading the twitter feed connected to the programme. The #sexonwheels hashtag really brought out the nasty, rude and heartless scum that the internet seems to breed. Of course there were some very supportive tweets about the individuals shown on the documentary but also many horrid ones. I was actually shocked at the language used (cripple, mong, spastic to name a few) and the disgust over John's mother assisting him booking Laura Lee (the escort featured in the programme).
I can not see how anyone could fail to see why John's mother chose to do what she did or that she did it with love and compassion for her son. It didn't come across as weird of creepy in any way. The grief Laura also got was pretty hideous and she is obviously much tougher than me, I could never 'go public' and face the kind of abuse she has. She was sneered at for only doing it for the money and not really caring. Really? Do you think nurses, paramedics, rape counsellors, physiotherapists and others who use their skills and compassion in their job do it for free? The notion that us escorts are 'only in it for the money' was well and truly alive. Jesus, how do you think we should pay our bills, with rainbow dust and fluffy clouds?!
The fact that many people 'hate' sex workers is one I still have a bit of a problem with. I know mostly these people are keyboard warriors and say such things online because it makes them feel big and tough and cool but it does hurt a bit. I don't like being a whole sum based on my profession.
I am no more a typical sex worker than a school teacher is typical. There are good and bad in all professions, everyone has different work styles, ethics, enthusiasm, commitment and integrity. I suppose it's no different from being considered a sleazy estate agent or a ruthless banker or a bastard tax inspector. I think it's because I have never been in a job before that incites any sort of negativity!
And, in the same way that someone with a disability isn't 'typical' it can't be assumed because they are physically or mentally impaired they have no sexual urges or a need to be hugged.
On the plus side, I was pleased that the documentary showed that escorts do offer a wide range of services and are capable of dealing with all types of clients in a caring professional manner. It reminded me why I enjoy meeting virgins and those who don't fit into the typical client category (whatever that is!) and why much of this job is about making other people feel good and not just about hot sex and a pile of used notes.
If you or someone you know has a disability and would like to read more about sex and the disabled or find an appropriate sex worker do visit the TLC trust site
The eagle eyed among you may notice I now have a copyright symbol at the very bottom if the page. I never really thought about it before but this afternoon I have been doing some research, more on why in a minute. Copyright applies to work that is recorded in some way; rights exist in items such as literary, artistic, musical and dramatic work as well as films and sound recordings. Websites are included in this.
Basically copyright gives the creators of certain kinds of material rights to control ways
their material can be used. These rights start as soon as the material is recorded in writing or in any other way. So, when I write a blog, write a paragraph for my site or post a photograph it is automatically 'mine' and cannot be reproduced without my express permission. It is recommended that to protect your work further, deter people from copying and support any claim you may have to make should someone copy your work you can display a notice that shows you have an awareness of copyright and take infringements seriously. Hence the little Copyright ©2011-2012 Minxylydia at the bottom of each page. I am also allowed to use the pseudonym MinxyLydia because there is plenty of recorded evidence to support that is is me and of course protects my anonymity.
Anyway, I shall not bore your further on this or explain intellectual property (I have links to a couple of websites at the bottom of this page if you're really interested) but tell you a little story. This afternoon I was going through my site referrer lists to see where my web hits had come from and one was an escort website so I went to look at it thinking she might have blogged about me or mentioned me. But on no! What I found were several paragraphs directly copied from this very website. basically the entire second paragraph of THIS page and ALL of THIS page up to the My likes bit. Pretty much word for word- she has fake tits so the bit about mine being natural was removed. Hell there is even weird spacing where it had been deleted from a cut and paste job.
I was not impressed. At all.
It takes ages to write stuff like that. It's me, it's what I genuinely believe about myself and what I do. It offends me someone is too lazy to write their own stuff. She isn't even anything like me. Older, skinnier (not in a good way), fake tits, in another part of the country and with a totally different style, I discovered this when I found her adultwork page. Anyway, I decided to write her a nice email. Here it is:
It has come to my attention that there are large chunks of text I have written on your website www.insertsite.com I have emailed you here via adultwork because there is not an email address on your site.
I appreciate that it is sometimes tricky to write website information, but I had to spend a lot of time doing it myself so it upsets me that someone has blatantly plagarised my words. Of course I am mildly flattered you think my words are good enough to copy. You are geographically and physically very different from me so I do not see you as any sort of competition. However, copying my words is unfair and lazy and I would like you do remove what you have stolen.
I would like to point you in the direction of this website- http://www.copyrightservice.co.uk/copyright/intellectual_property which highlights the law regarding copyright.
My website is my intellectual property and you have breached copyright laws. Copyright protection is automatic under international law despite the fact I do not mention copyright on my website. I shall be changing this shortly to make it clear that I will not tolerate theft of my work. You even have the audacity to state on your homepage- "No information on this website may be reproduced or disseminated in any way without written permission from the owners of this website".
I have also found your IP address and who hosts your website. Reading their terms of service it is clear that your infringement of my copyright can result in them removing your content without refund.
I am giving you five days to remove my text from your website or else I shall be forced to contact your website host.
The sad thing is if you had contacted me asking for advice I would have happily helped you out. I do think in this game we have to look out for and look after each other. I work bloody hard on my website and other web content and it offends me when someone copies it.
I think that made the point I wanted to make. I have removed her name and website because despite the fact I was pissed off I really only wanted her to remove it and not scare her or mess about with her reputation or business.
Anyway, she replied saying someone else does her website, she was apologetic, that she had no idea he had stolen my words. She promised to get it removed. We actually ended up swapping a couple of emails because she was nice about it and I was astounded at how much she gets charged to have her website built and managed. I mean she was paying well over a grand a year more than I spend doing it myself so I sort of felt I had to direct her towards a couple of websites and to www.saafe.info which has invaluable information on such things for escorts.
OK, there is a cynical part of me that thinks maybe nothing will happen and her being nice to me was a ruse to make me go away and forget about it. We shall see.
I am am now going to google sections of my website and see where the hell else it appears!
I spend way too much time on the internet. There is just so much stuff to look at as well as doing routine admin type stuff related to my work. However sometimes somethings really make me laugh. This site is one of my current favourites- http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/
Go on read it, its silly and funny.
In other news, the weather has warmed up, but it's gone all sticky humid warm not nice sunshiney warm. This is worse than rain.
This Sunday I am off to a festival. Lets hope it stays dry and not too muggy. We're only going for the day, I have never been the festival camping type and I have an aversion to portaloos and I like actual beds and a supply of electric when I go away somewhere. All I need to do is decide what to pack. The way things have been I will be taking a brolly and suntan lotion and probably several bits of clothes in case its hot/gets cold in the evening/rains/I spill something on me. Oh and sturdy boots, pretty shoes and flat shoes for when pretty shoes start to hurt. I fear I may need a big backpack to put all this stuff in...
Do you know what a meme is? It's an internet thingy that could be a picture or a list or um, something. Look here, these are memes. Anyway, I decided to do one based on one currently going around the internet. Here is an example:
Here is mine:
It's not the clearest cos I did it in Word and this is the only way I could load it into this blog. Anyway, it is not perfect but it is my first meme and I am proud of it!