delve a little deeper....
I am dithering with touring again. They have never particularly worked well for me. No idea why, many women do really well from it and many only tour, hopping from place to another because they can't work from home or choose not to have a permanent base.
I don't *need* to tour as such because I have somewhere to work from and of course there is the risk that once you've paid for travel and accommodation you don't actually make any money! And of course it;s sod law that the minute you're somewhere else you get a request for a lovely lucrative booking close to home!
However, I do get a bit cabin fevery, it's nice to get away from Hounslow and of course if a tour gave me the opportunity to make more money and meet some new clients then that's a good thing.
The question is where? I think if I were to do it again I would probably choose somewhere that a genuine client wanted to see me in so I'd at least have one good booking to ensure it was worthwhile or maybe somewhere recommended by other women.
So people, any thoughts, any out of London clients reading that'd love to see me in another city? Do let me know!
It's been a while since I have blogged and a while since I really talked about my services and what I do as an escort. I winder if sometimes this blog loses it's way a bit as a marketing tool, or letting potential clients actually find out what I am about and the kind of things I offer as an escort.
I am ditheirng with starting another blog to cover the sex work activism, political stuff and general rantings. Not sure yet, so if you have any thoughts feel free to share them.
For now here's a link to the blogs and pages regarding my services for those who are new to this blog, or are browsing the interwebs for a nice escort...
Roleplay- I love roleplay. I have had some wonderful clients who enjoy this both as a regular thing and one off bookings. I wrote a blog about Roleplay (link) a couple of years ago so I think it's worth linking again in case you were looking for inspiration and if you have found me after Googling 'Roleplay Escort' (I know from my stats that this is fairly common!)
Anal Play- Anal play is a bit like Marmite in my experience! Men seem to either love it or hate it or at least hate the idea of it! THIS is one of my most read pages so I know plenty of chaps are intrigued if anything! There's nothing more satisfying than introducing a client to the joys of anal play. It doesn't have to include actual penetration, often a little teasing is enough to add an extra thrill to a session! I wrote about anal play and fisting HERE if you want to know more!
Female Ejaculation- Often known as squirting or gushing. There is still much debate about this, but I can assure you it is real and not just clever porn or indeed women weeing! I'm not the most prolific squirter but I can do it with the right stimulation and have definitely experienced a few of other women who have soaked me with their juices! THIS is a long piece with a bit of science and history as well as my very own personal journey.
Still not convinced?- Well why not read THIS- It's a guide for men (and women) who might not have taken the plunge to make a booking or are unsure of the protocols of booking an escort.
So there you go- if there is anything you'd like clarifying about sex, my services of have any questions please feel free comment here or drop me an email to email@example.com. Suggestions for blog posts are always welcome to!
Ok, this is going to sound full of snark, but if it stops just one moron from ringing me up then I am happy! :)
Things clients say that won't get you a booking with me:
Crime: Overuse of terms of endearments
Likely to say: "Hello darling, how are you my darling? I'd like to see you today darling, when can I see you darling?"
Why it offends me: It's annoying, I am not your darling and if you annoy me in the first 3 seconds of a phone call I'm not going to tolerate an hour with you.
What you will be saved in my phone as: DNS (Do not see)
Crime: Asking a million questions
Likely to say: "Where are you? how old are you? Can you tell me what you look like? How much is it?"
Why it offends me: If you don't know these things about me, why have you decided to call me and if you tell me your mate gave you my number then I shall tell you to bloody ask him what I look like!
What you will be saved in my phone as: DNS (Do not see)
Crime: Getting off for free
Likely to say: How big are your breasts, are they full? Do your nipples get hard? Are you shaved? What will you wear for me? Are you horny?
Why it offends me: I can hear you wanking!
What you will be saved in my phone as: Phone Wanker
Crime: Boundary Pushing
Likely to say: Do you do anal/bareback/other service I don't offer? Oh but I'm small/clean/nice, I'm sure we'll get on really well, when you meet me you'll see I'm a gentleman...
Why it offends me: Just NO!
What you will be saved in my phone as: TWAT
Crime: Having a vivid imagination
Likely to say: My wife and I want to have a threesome. Now let me tell you a really long winded scenario about how I'd like the booking to happen. Oh, she is out at the moment, I'll get her to call you later.
Why it offends me: Your wife knows nothing of this you lying cunt!
What you will be saved in my phone as: TW (Timewaster)
Crime: Owning an enormous penis
Likely to say: I've got 10 inches can you take that much? I'm going to send you a photo! Are you sure you can take it? I've got good girth too!
Why it offends me: You've got a 4 inch winkle and you're never ever going to actually show up.
What you will be saved in my phone as: Cockwomble
Crime: Being Scary
Likely to say: Can we do a rape scenario? Can I tie you up and spit in your face? Can I take you dogging?
Why it offends me: No respect for my safety and security concerns, also I've never met you before!
What you will be saved in my phone as: DNS (Do not see)
Other things that make me be booked up for the next six months
1. What time are you open til?
2. What's your postcode? (as an opening line)
3. What girls have you got available? (Um Lydia, Lydia or Lydia)
4. Can I come now, I'm two minutes away. (when you don't know where I live and you haven't even said hello)
5. Can my mate come too?
6. Anything in an accent I can't understand.
7. If you're calling me when I can hear kids nearby (It weirds me out)
8. Would you fuck my dog for a grand (Yes, it happened)
9. I want you to pull my mate but not let him know I've paid you.
10. I want to meet you in a pub/in public (When I don't know them at all)
Am I too cynical?!
This month I spent some time ranting about The All Party Parliamentary Group on Prostitution and the Global Sex Trade (APPG) are launching an inquiry to assess the current UK legal settlement surrounding prostitution. They wish to identify how legislation to tackle demand could safeguard those in danger of sexual exploitation and abuse. I wrote about the issues that concerned me regarding the APPG in this blog and urged people to respond to the questionnaire. In fact I was so determined to get people to take note and respond I blogged a helpful breakdown of the questions, along with my answers.
Incidentally, the responses for this survey are due to be released in January 2014, so that'll be interesting.... watch this space.
I also had a photoshoot in January. Here is one of the photos:
Consisted of me both plugging my March tour to Reading and trying to convince people to romance me on Valentines day. Both failed miserably :(
I also wrote my first blog on my struggle with feminism and how I found it hard to relate to. As someone who of course believes in the equal rights of women, I found it hard to discover that many other women only want equal rights for a certain sort of women (ie. Not sex workers, the working class or anyone who they disapprove of) and that radical feminism has hateful views on sex work, transgender issues and all men.
The Easter Bunny with One Ear was one of my favourite stories I shared with you this year! The saga rumbled on into May too where I wrote about it again. I never did get a refund!
Other than being the oldest bunny in town I wrote a lot in March! Joan Smith pissed me off, I worried about Talking Dirty and I got pissed off again, this time with Melissa Farley and was inspired to write Why I made The Choice to become a prostitute by Brooke Magnanti who had written about Farley.
With April's showers came a long piece on porn, this took for-fucking-ever to write so you can read it again- it's a bit about the history of porn and inspired by me getting fed up with men who learn about sex from porn and therefore don't know how to do it properly!
I also dabbled in satire after Samantha Brick annoyed the entire nation yet again by announcing she was so beautiful other women hated her...
Finally, probably one of the hardest stories to write, but also one I am proud of being allowed to tell. It also highlighted the appalling rape conviction statistics and the Merseyside model in relation to Police attitudes to sex workers.
The Minxipedia was born!
AND I started a Twitter Storm!
Go May !
Oh, and then I got all angsty about feminism again!
Another tough blog- I wrote, for the first time about when I was outed at work. A hard one to write but something that a lot of people wrote to me and tweeted about which was lovely.
However, I also got slagged off by Mumsnet (I'm sure I need a T shirt for that) and in terrific news there was Victory for Scottish Sex Workers.
Part Two coming up tomorrow!
There is some irony that having published a guest blog earlier today from a lovely client that I then read THIS from The Independent by Mary Honeyball, a Labour MEP for London. Said article informs me that actually, my clients are committing violence against me and she is in favour of the Swedish Model.
Yes the Swedish Model which criminalises clients, but not the sex worker (except she uses the term prostitute, natch) which is well documented as dangerous, ineffective and stupid and of no help to sex workers whether they choose to be in the industry or not.
Soooo much has been written regarding the Swedish Model and attempts by other countries to introduce similar models or the criminalisation of clients including me, but far better by Dr Brooke Magnanti- here, Laura Lee here, here by the International Prostitutes Collective, here by Feminist Ire and here is a paper that explains why The Swedish Model has failed. A small drop in the ocean of blogs, newspaper articles and academic papers on the subject.
I read such articles as the one mentioned in my first paragraph and feel angry, ranty and sad. They make me want to shout, I feel frustration, I feel confused why sex workers are not listened to by these people who think they know better what sex workers want or need to operate safely.
I have said before but I truly believe the anti brigade operate on the basis of personal preferences (I don't want to have sex with strange men so why should anyone else), a sense of do good-ing blindness (Oh lucky middle class me, let me rescue some poor people) and possibly fear (These filthy women lure our husbands into dirty vices). Or is it just terribly trendy to come out as anti prostitution? (ooh brave old me, tackling such a gritty grimy subject, I'm just like Princess Di hugging those AIDS children) or simply misguided all men are bastards feminism?
I don't know.
I wanted to tackle what Mary Honeyball has said, but it's been said, over and over and over. Crap stats and skewed studies have been discredited, heck Melissa Farley for starters? Joan Smith, who is referenced in the Honeyball piece was laughed at collectively for her little jaunt to Sweden to sit in cop cars as 'research', but forgot to speak to any actual sex workers... then we get ridiculous TV shows where Jodie Marsh is considered a good idea and "hard hitting" expose documentaries about the seedy side of the industry whitewashed as the *entire* sex industry.
Honeyball starts her piece by referring to the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women citing rape, domestic violence and genital mutilation as issues that (rightly) need tackling, then goes on to whine that prostitution isn't considered violence against women and that everyone seems to be mildly amused by it because Russell Brand pays for it! Seriously, you think that?! You don't think there is enough anti sex work propaganda about?! Or maybe, just maybe, many people do actually think that plenty of women do enter prostitution freely, do it happily and not under force or pressure. I do hope Smith reads the comments on her piece which are overwhelmingly negative with regards to her words.
Apart from anything, I don't want want crimes of violence against women shoved to one side and yet another debate on prostitution had. Those who are forced into prostitution are not sex workers, they are as much victims (and survivors) as other women subjected to violence.
Further to that, Honeyball says:
I favour the Swedish Model, a middle way which permits selling sex but criminalises buying it.
Can't you hear the clutching of pearls and smug, holier than thou smile? Aren't I clever, I'm not harming the poor women, just the nice, law abiding clients who pay for their services thus their bills and food on the table and shoes on their children's feet.
Not only has it halved street prostitution...
I think you'll find the advent of the internet did that to the industry from about ooh, what 1999?, Oh yes, by coincidence the year the Swedish Model was introduced. Spooky no?
...but it has also successfully stigmatised using the sex trade...
Ahh yes stigma, we all want more stigma don't we? Why don't we start sending unmarried mothers to the country to be hidden away until their baby is adopted or shall we start putting up signs in pub windows saying 'No Dogs, No Blacks, No Irish' ? or why don't we sack women who work as escorts because they get outed by the press? (oh, that happens still).
Yes stigma, it's what made Britain great.
Finally, just in case anyone hasn't got this point:
THERE ARE ALREADY LAWS IN PLACE WHICH COVER THE RAPE, ATTACK, ROBBERY, COERCION OF MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN. WE DON'T NEED SPECIAL ONES FOR SEX WORKERS THAT STOP US DOING OUR JOBS!
I am happy to present my second guest post. The first one one is here.
Thank you so much Mr X (not his real name!), it is much appreciated.
Like the previous guest writer, I’m aware that my experience cannot speak for everyone, so it’s just my side of the story. But I think there is a whole side of the story when it comes to this business that is never discussed. A happy and safe side that can be a hugely rewarding experience, and not just because I’m getting my end away.
I am single -- which perhaps makes this a particular viewpoint. I never had to worry about a partner discovering, which ensures I can relax completely without this being a worry. That, however, is in large part due to the regular I see.
I think I’ve been lucky, but not through blind luck. It took me a long time to take the plunge to see a sex worker. When I did, it was because of things she’d written, not because of a list of outrageous promised services or a set of porny pictures. Over time, I became a regular client, and we seem to get on well -- which is important to me.
That last point might sound ridiculous. After all, I’m paying for this, right? What need is there to hit it off? And surely I’m deluding myself: she’s in it for the money.
That doesn’t have to be true. Yes, cash changes hands and that is in exchange for sex, and without it, nothing doing. But when you spend a couple of hours with someone regularly and get to know them (and I’m not really one for seeing a host of different women) there’s other things that are important too. We spend a good deal of time drinking tea, smoking and chatting. And that is just as enjoyable.
And it has allowed me to explore a few things I’d always wanted to -- but never quite dared bring up with partners. To be able to do that without being judged, without a post-mortem is quite remarkably liberating.
At the same time, it is entirely consensual. We already have legislation that covers the things that happen in this industry that isn’t. I’m sure the overwhelming majority of men would never want to be with someone who actually didn’t want to be doing this.
And over time, it’s possible to discover that the getting on well isn’t faked, that actually you *are* friends within the boundaries of client and provider. It’s as far as possible from the ugly stereotypes put out there in the media. There can be an awful lot of two-way respect going on. And a good deal of warmth, laughter and fun.
Oh, and the sex is fucking spectacular.
Please take note the new header to my blog.
This came about from a throwaway comment made by a young man called Starsalign in the Punternet chatroom. I had just sent him a link to an informative blog I had written on roleplay and he said that having read another how to.. article of mine my blog was like a encyclopedia, nay! A Minxipedia! I thought this was a fab new word and became determined to use it somehow.
This is how it works:
1. A girl or young woman who is considered pert, flirtatious, or impudent.
2. Obsolete A promiscuous woman.
A comprehensive reference work containing articles on a wide range of subjects or on numerous aspects of a particular field
The Greek phrase is enkuklios paideia, made up of enkuklios, "cyclical, periodic, ordinary," and paideia, "education," and meaning "general education." Copyists of Latin manuscripts took this phrase to be a single Greek word,enkuklopaedia, with the same meaning, and this spurious Greek word became the New Latin word encyclopaedia, coming into English with the sense "general course of instruction," first recorded in 1531. In New Latin the word was chosen as the title of a reference work covering all knowledge. The first such use in English is recorded in 1644.
So, I came up with this:
The blog of a young (ish) flirtatious, promiscuous woman containing work on a variety of subjects, but mainly on sex work, sex and general ramblings to educate and amuse. First used in 2013.
Oh and obviously I use the Name Minxy!
I didn't think it was worth categorising my various blog in an encyclopedia style elsewhere when anything can be easily searched for using the search tool on my website and nothing really needs to be recorded twice on the internet so I decided to rename my blog The Minxipedia.
And there we go Stars, you now have internet fame!
Ask any escort and she will tell you this comes under one of the most annoying things to be asked on the phone.
It's not that we don't want clients to ask questions if they are not sure about something and I fully understand why a man would want to confirm that I do the services he requires, but the 'What services do you do?' question which annoys and this is why:
1. I like to think that a man has read my website and profile already decided I am the escort for him because of my looks/price/location/services etc etc BEFORE he calls me up.
2. If I listed all my services it would take ages. Yes I could mention the commonly requested ones and tell him my no nos but how do I know if this covers what he wants?
3. It feels faintly like he is a prank caller wanting to get off on my saying rude words.
4. Why can't he just say what it is he wants? Why can't he be specific? You don't ring a Chinese takeaway and say 'So, what's on the menu?'
5. It's not always convenient for me to speak about naughty things if I am out and about. I don't sit in my flat alone all day waiting for the phone to ring and I don't want to not take calls if I am hoping to arrange bookings for later in the day/week. If I am out I usually say I'm on the train (or wherever) and hope they will realise that it's better for me if they say 'I'm looking for a GFE with a tit wank and a blow job and then to finish off on your tits' So I can easily respond to this with 'Yes, that's fine!' Or, of course if he has more detailed questions to ask when a better time to speak is!
I'm honestly not being grumpy or not understanding that for some blokes it's a nerve racking phone call to make. It's just that the 'What services do you do?' question really bugs me.
Other questions that are impossible or annoying to answer:
1. Are you dirty?
2. Have you got big tits?
3. How old are you? (If it matters why not look it up first, I hardly keep it a secret online)
4. Is it you in the photos? (No, I thought I'd put up pics of my mate *insert sarcasm icon*)
5. Can I have your address? (before a booking has been arranged)
6. Do you know anyone local who is like you but younger? (Yes, I have had this one!)
7. What girls do you have available? (um, am not a brothel)
8. Can you come to an outcall in Manchester at 10pm tonight? (No)
9. Can I book you for my mate, but he mustn't know I've paid you?
10. Can I call you mummy? (No, really, please don't)
1. Why when people are disgusted by sex work, they can't accept that for some people it's an enjoyable, freely chosen job.
2. Why people can't rationally listen to each other and learn.
3. Why trading insults is considered a debate or that it will achieve understanding.
4. That's it's considered acceptable to decree sex work as degrading and abusive when many who do it clearly don't feel that way.
5. If I can accept that monogamy or religion is a choice for some and wouldn't dream of telling them that it's stupid and unrealistic why can't others accept and respect my lifestyle choices.
6. How sex work can be bunged into one great big 'It's awful and wrong' lump when like many other fields and issues is multifaceted. It's like considering well paid haute couture designers in Paris and exploited sweat shop workers in India are the same.
7. That sometimes I have to stop and think 'Am I actually fucked up, degraded and abused and I don't realise it yet?' This only lasts a few seconds, but it happens!
8. Why feminism is even a word that is required in the 21st century.
I am considering a trip to New York later on in the year- November/December I think. Mainly because the lovely boobtastic Sarita is going and it's always nice to have someone to hold your hand on such trips. It's not something I would have considered before and I haven't made definite plans as yet so I am only sticking my toe in the water to see if anyone based out that way thinks they might like to see me! I will only go if I feel there is enough enthusiasm for me out there. Although saying that a little holiday might be nice, I've always fancied New York.
I've been lucky enough to get some advice off the fantastic Annie, a courtesan based in New Orleans who I have known (in the online world) for ages. After all the US scene is very different to here in the UK and I will have to be super careful about how I go about it as This blog shows!
So, if you're in New York or you might be and think you'd like to hook up (or have any words of advice) do drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
In other exciting news I have had a fabulous new review on Punternet! If you'd like a read the link is here. Thank you very much to the lovely R for writing it! I enjoy our sessions very much too so it's a win win all round! He mentions the anal play section on my website which is here if you're interested! Anal play
Right, I am off for a long hot soapy shower! Toodle pip!