delve a little deeper....
A lighthearted (or possibly catty) view of some of the types of men one can encounter on punting forums. With apologies to Roger Hargreaves
Mr Know It All
He is: The Long term hobbyist.
Likes: Writing reviews, boasting, saying the same thing over and over again.
Dislikes: Being questioned on his opinions
Most likely to say: I've been punting for 78 years and have punted with 68,000 women including Eskimo and Inuit women. I've had some right stunners in my time!
He is: Appalled he has to pay for sex
Likes: Soho walk ups
Most likely to say: I don't know why these girls think they can charge more than £30 an hour. Most of them are chunky and nothing much to look at anyway. I've had some great punts for £10 and who cares if they don't speak English as long as they are fit and let me bang their pert arses I'm happy!
He is : New and nervous
Likes: Asking questions, a lot of questions.
Dislikes: Living at his mums
Most likely to say: I've been lurking here for 4 years and I think I'm ready to lose my virginity. Who do you recommend? What shall I ask for to make my first punt special, anal or bondage? I'm really scared I'll get ripped off or catch a disease. Does clingfilm work instead of a condom?
He is: The moraliser caught between guilt and lust.
Likes: Telling married men they deserve all they get if they get caught. Saying he is never ever ever punting again.
Dislikes: Believing that escorts enjoy what they do
Most likely to say: Escorts fake everything! or How could you treat your partner like this?! You disgust me!
He is: On a never ending quest for a hooker girlfriend
Likes: Thai women
Dislikes: Being told he is a fool
Most likely to say: I have a really great rapport with this girl, I know she likes me as she has stopped charging, but I'm paying her rent and I'm paying to fly her brother over to the UK. I think it's love because I'm sure she doesn't see any other men anymore.
He is: The one that starts pointless threads
Dislikes: Most things
Most likely to say: Don't you just hate it when a woman's wallpaper doesn't match your pants? And what about avocado bathroom suites? Vile! I emailed this girl ten whole minutes before I arrived asking for pink lacy knickers, a halterneck dress and purple lipstick and she didn't even bother!
He is: Pretending to be nice but is a stalky creep
Likes: Telling women where they are going wrong
Dislikes: Being told after meeting 3 women he is not a world authority on escorting.
Most likely to say: I'm a perfect gent, it's all about pleasuring the lady. I even tell her how she can improve her website and make herself look prettier. I often bring biscuits along and stay for ages chatting and we email or text daily. I'm really upset my last lady got an injunction out on me.
"Sexual intercourse was to be looked on as a slightly disgusting minor operation, like having an enema."
"What was more important was that sexual privation induced hysteria, which was desirable because it could be transformed into war fever and leader worship."
George Orwell, 1984
“A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze.”
Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale
Despite the distraction of the royal sprog arriving at Kate's heirport most people couldn't have failed to have noticed the headlines about David Cameron's porn speech. The speech starts:
"I want to talk about the internet, the impact it’s having on the innocence of our children, how online pornography is corroding childhood and how, in the darkest corners of the internet, there are things going on that are a direct danger to our children and that must be stamped out."
Hmmm, I have two immediate thoughts about this.
1. Tory policy and cuts that plunge people and their children into poverty are more of a direct danger to society and childhood than porn.
2. People should parent their own children. This includes supervising them and educating them about sex.
Cameron goes onto explain that he is highlighting two areas
1. Illegal material
2. Legal material that is being viewed by those who are underage.
He is basically throwing all the responsibility at the UK internet service providers (ISPs) will be putting pornography filters on domestic internet connections. If anyone wishes to access pornographic sites then they have to opt-in with their ISP. So, as a household you will be asked if you want to opt-in to the system. Tricky if you're living with someone who doesn't know about your sneaky knocking one out over a redtube video after s/he has gone to bed. It also means sites like this one and all escort websites, directories and forums such as Punternet will be blocked.
Most ISP currently have filters which you can use to limit content to individual users or devices. For example, you can block adult content on your child's computer or have your own log in on the family PC which allows you to see adult sites. However, with this scheme you will have to contact your ISP to opt in which may well trigger a letter or email confirming this and the person you don't want to know you're doing this may find out!
This isn't the biggest issue by far. The BBC reported that some people discovered that the "family friendly" filters now required on public wi-fi hotspots stopped them reading news articles about government plans to impose pornography filters!
The irony may be amusing but the wider implication of what filters might block is a little ridiculous. 'Adult content' or 'porn' are vague descriptions. When does a photograph become pornographic? Would websites with Michelangelo's David pictured be filtered out on the basis David is stood proud with his lad out? Would Marks and Spencer's lingerie website become pornographic? Is this different visually to an tasteful escort in her scanties?
Of course, the context is blindingly obvious, but we're dealing with computers here. There won't be a group of people sitting about looking at every website and making a decision about it's content. This blog explains beautifully in easy to understand language of why the proposals won't work from a techie standpoint.
The filters that most current ISPs and search engines use are mainly down to certain words. So if switched on you can't get results that contain certain words.
I have done an experiment and turned on my Google SafeSearch.
If I google Minxy Lydia this website comes up top, with the safeSearch on the first hit is my twitter account. Firstly, that's annoying because I want people who have heard of me to find my website and secondly, kind of pointless, because my twitter account has my website address on it!
If I try Escorts in Hounslow then I get told that my search didn't match any documents. uueful if you're stopping a kid from finding whores, but not much use if you're looking to buy a Ford Escort locally, or indeed find a local friendly hooker for your adult self.
If I google Blue Tits (let's say I am doing a project on British birds) Google tells me
"The word "tits" has been filtered from the search because Google SafeSearch is active" Instead of a useful ornithological website, I get hits regarding the boyband Blue!
Oddly, if I search Cunt I get:
The word "cunt" has been filtered from the search because Google SafeSearch is active.
Your search - cunt - did not match any documents.
However, if I try the word Cunts then I do get a list- mainly Jarvis Cocker's Cunts are Still Running The World! (Oh how apt!)
More seriously, would children be denied access to sexual education and health websites? Would a teenage girl who didn't want to tell her parent's her boyfriend had raped her not be able to find support because the word 'rape' couldn't be searched for.
Luckily, when I tried to search Rape it did include rape crisis centres, so maybe there is some sophistication in Google's systems. However, when I googled Porn Filters for this with the SafeSearch still on, I got a list of sites about filters and nothing about the current news!
There have been plenty of jokes about Scunthorpe, Arsenal and Oilseed Rape being filtered out which doesn't happen with Google, but who knows what might happen as results of these changes.
Cameron has admitted he doesn't have all the answers- He said in an interview on Radio 2 with Jeremy Vine; "I'm not saying we've thought of everything and there will be many problems down the line as we deal with this, but we're trying to crunch through these problems and work out what you can do and can't do and what companies need to do."
To be frank, he sounded a bit clueless about it all and much of the critisism has been about how this grand plan will actually work and whether tech savvy kids would be able to circumnavigate any filters and blocks in place. There are already loads of sites that tell you how to get around filters.
I have a huge problem with the whole nanny stateness about it all. Of course I don't think children should see explicit pornography, but that is down to the parent's to manage that themselves and deal with sex issues so boys don't grow up thinking that sex is like porn and girls don't grown up thinking they are expected to look and act in a certain way. That's parenting, That's what you sign up for but nor should we have a government that tells us how they want us to raise children or what grown up adults should and shouldn't be able to see.
Which brings me to my next point.
The PM also stated at his speech this week; "We are closing the loophole, making it a criminal offence to possess internet pornography that depicts rape."
OK. Rape shouldn't be available as porn for titillation. It seems simple but it isn't.
Rape fantasies are common for women. Nancy Friday wrote in her 1973 book My Secret Garden, "Rape does for a woman's sexual fantasy what the first martini does for her in reality: Both relieve her of responsibility and guilt. . . . She gets him to do what she wants him to do, while seeming to be forced."
There are several fantasies in the book that are, in effect rape and I have read and heard of plenty of other evidence to say that it's something women do think about and something that couples are happy to roleplay together. In addition if you look at some of the more graphic S&M films out there to the uninitiated they look horrific and terrifying, but to many they are a turn on and again, I know many people (men and women) who are excited by bondage, sadism and being forced to do all manner of degrading things. However, it is consensual and people get great pleasure from it. It is not actual rape.
Cameron is talking about making any depiction of rape illegal. This means rape porn which is actually two actors pretending to rape and be raped will become illegal. As far as I am aware actually raping someone and filming it is already illegal so as far as I can tell the government now want to control our sexual fantasies by wrapping it up in a 'think of the children!' cake. I'm unsure whether the law will extend to prose as well as pictures and film.
Does this mean owning a copy of The Accused become against the law? Or does because Jodie Foster won an Oscar for it make this OK? What about A Clockwork Orange, Straw Dogs, Boys Don't Cry or Thelma and Louise to name a few films that deal with sexual assault. How do you draw the line between rape that is OK and rape that is pornography and therefore not OK?
Why is it down to the government to dictate what we must and must not get off on? If pornography is defined as getting sexual pleasure from it then there are a whole generation of men out there who have just turned their mum's Freemans or Kays catalogues into porn!
Of course what really needs to happen is the problem of those who make, distribute and use images of actual children being abused. This is very different from 'teen porn' which is a totally different kettle of fish. Even the dirtiest websites ensure the actors (actor being a key word) are over 18 and state so on their sites.
The Child Exploitation & Online Protection Centre (CEOP) who are affiliated to Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) already exist and surely should be given more resources to do their job, of course their budget has been cut recently as have many local councils who have seen 10% cuts which of course has impacted on Child Protection Services.
Cameron really needs to make up his mind what his priorities are.
It feels kind of selfish to complain about how the potential changes may effect me. I rely on this website, various directories, Adultwork and Punternet to provide me with marketing for business. It's my livelihood, it pays my bills and it's what I enjoy doing. Not to mention the fact that support sites such as SAAFE might be bracketed into the filters. For some, who can choose to opt in to the porn it's OK, but what about women who are controlled and rely on such sites for help and advice. What about people who do this secretly from their parents, partner or housemates. Leaving the decision of what can be viewed to one member of the household is unfair and dangerous.
This whole thing feels like yet another attempt from someone to make the lives of sex workers difficult. I don't think it is directly though.
It could be the start of something more sinister. Is it a path to using the Internet to monitor us more closely, to legitimise spying on us and leading us down a road not too far from the one Mr Orwell visualised in 1949? He might have been 30 years later than predicted, but the more we hear about spying, the treatment of those who whistleblow and the forced poverty that is falling on the 'proles' of the country who knows?
Read THIS. It's long, especially after you've waded through all I have written, but it's food for thought!
References and Further Reading
Full transit of Cameron's speech HereDavid Cameron knows nothing about online porn filters, The Inquirer, by Dave Neal
PM's child-abuse police figures are wrong, says ex-CEOP chief PCPro, by Barry Collins
Family filters won't block 'soft' porn: The Independent by Oliver Wright
Q&A UK filters on legal pornography BBC website.
10 Questions about Cameron's 'War on Porn The New Statesman by Paul Bernal.
Police Federation Fears to Cut online Safety Work BBC Website
Rape Fantasies and Knowing What's Real New Statesman, by Glosswitch
What's Behind Rape Fantasies?, The Village Voice, by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Not directly linked to the porn filter issue but interesting Western governments are 'seriously spying on the internet', says Sir Tim Berners-Lee The Telegraph by Radhika Sanghani
If you wish to sign the petition regarding the filtering of pornography I found this, but haven't looked into it to say whether it's the right one to sign! I expect many will be popping up!
Wrote this ages ago. It's a bit porny, so I won't go as far as to call it erotica! It certainly doesn't have any literary merit but might do to knock one out to! :)
BTW- I do not condone the bareback sex in this- it's just a fantasy!
So, it’s hot and sunny and feeling a bit pale I head out to the local park to catch some sun and try and get a little colour onto my skin. I'm wearing a thin vest top without a bra to avoid getting strap marks; it's tight across my big breasts and I know my nipples are showing. I have a short skirt on which I plan on hitching right up as I lay down to make sure my legs get tanned all the way to the top.
Finding a quiet spot by some bushes I lay out my rug and start to spray oil over my exposed body. Deciding that I didn't want any white lines I slipped the straps down my shoulders and pulled my arms out. The top was tight enough not to fall down, but I knew I wouldn't be able to move about much at the risk of exposing my tits. Laying on my back, I close my eyes and start to enjoy the sun's rays.
After some time dozing, miles away with my thoughts I become aware of a presence by me. I open my eyes and turn to see what has disturbed my thoughts. I jump slightly as I see a man a few feet away. He looks over and smiles. I smile cautiously back.
'Sorry, did I make you jump' he asks.
'Oh, I was miles away, its fine' I say, not really in the mood to engage with a stranger. The man walked forward and sat down next to me on my rug. My heart sank; I really don't want to be saddled with a nutter or worse, a bore for the rest of my afternoon. I also know I'm too polite (read gutless) to tell him to go away.
'Lovely day', the man says, 'nice and hot'.
Oh great, small talk about the bloody obvious I think to myself still laying on my back, eyes closed hoping my lack of interest will make him go away.
'Sorry, that was a bit inane' he says,
'It was a bit!' I reply smiling to myself. Well not to myself because he obviously saw the smile too and took it as a good sign.
'Do, you come here often?' he asks.
Shocked anyone actually asks a girl that I pulled my sunglasses off to take a better look at the man. Hmmm, nice smile I noted realising that his corny line was said in jest rather than seriously.
He wasn't bad looking I noticed, berating myself in my head for still being the boy crazy teen I always was. Dark hair and dark smiling eyes and a tight white t shirt that showed off a nice firm chest and the hint of a hairy chest peeping out over the neckline. Nice.
'Do you use that line on all the girls?' I asked him, returning his smile.
'Only ones showing off that much of their boobs' he replied obviously looking at my cleavage seriously spilling out over my top. I lay back down quickly, shocked at his front and to stop my boobs falling out but yet, also feeling a dart of excitement rushing through me.
'They are very impressive' he adds, laughing.
I know I should be offended and hitch my top up but really rather enjoying the attention. Oh the dirty little attention seeker that I am.
'Thank you' I say, responding to his compliment. 'I grew them all by myself!'
'And what do you use as fertiliser?' he asks cheekily
'Ahh, now that would be telling!' I respond looking up at him and holding his gaze.
'You do realise you're almost showing nipple here in a nice respectable public park' he tells me
'Well, not everybody will be looking as closely as you' I shoot back. He's now laying beside me propped up on one arm so he is still above me as I lay there feeling increasingly flirtatious.
'See look' he says placing a finger gently on the neckline of my vest. 'I would only have to move this finger slightly and your nipple would really be showing'.
His directness and finger on my body makes me gasp and the darts of excitement getting stronger. I say nothing, silently daring him to follow through. He has no qualms and flicks his finger pushing back the flimsy material and revealing my round pink nipple. Not saying a word he places his finger on top of my hardening bud and starts to stroke it. I shiver at his attention and I can feel a twinge in my pussy. He pinches my nipple between his fingers and tugs it. I gasp audible. He looks at me and smiles.
'Well well, what do we have here, the kind of girl who lets a stranger play with her tits!'
'You found my weak spot!' I say trying not to squirm and make my arousal so obvious.
'So what kind of girl lets a stranger gets her tits out in public?' he asks.
'A bad one' I reply smartly.
'I bet you really are aren't you!' he said casually pulling down my vest exposing both of my tits. Although I'm not sure if I'm shaking with nerves or excitement I try to remain still, partly enjoying the exposure and worrying I was being really stupid.
'You really do, have great tits and you know it' he says cupping both of them in his hands. 'You must be a bit of a slut to let me do this' he tells me.
'Oh yes, I reply'
'Don't you care that old man over there is watching us?' he asks turning his head to indicate a figure in the distance.
'Oh fuck!' I exclaim 'I didn't realise anyone else was about!' I say genuinely shocked and sitting up to see who else was around and with nerves giving in I cover myself with my arms. I look over at the other man who is clearly watching. I guess he probably hasn't seen much from the distance he is at but also quite liking the idea of being watched.
'You don't mind him watching do you?' my stranger says, more as a statement than question.
'I guess not, he's old, he probably needs the thrill!' I laugh.
As I speak the man takes my arms in his hands and pulls them down showing off my tits again. I lean back and tip my head back enjoying the sun on my body and the attentions of this really rather sexy man. He starts to fondle both my tits, rubbing the palms of his hands over my nipples making them hard and making my pussy twinge and throb a little more. I become aware that I'm moaning with pleasure and have put my hand on his thigh. Wondering whether he is as much as a show off as I am I move my hand to find the bulge on his trousers. It's an impressive bulge and I start to think about how it might feel inside me.
I start to grapple at the belt buckle, I want to see this cock and I want to push this man as he has pushed me into getting my tits out.
'You want my cock do you?' he asks suddenly still caressing and squeezing my tits.
'Oh yes' I say sitting up fully to undo his belt noticing the old man has come closer. 'Our old friend is still watching' I say.
Turning around to see for himself he pushes my hand away from his trousers. 'Well, in that case I should think he wants to see more of you, not me!'
'Hey, mate!' he calls over to the man, 'want to come over?'
The man jumps and tries to pretend for a second he hadn't heard or wasn't watching at all, but soon looks up. I wave at him to encourage him. He starts to walk over slowly and I see he's probably in his late 70's, maybe early 80's. He's clearly nervous about what is going on. After all it’s not every day you come across a girl with her tits being played with in the local park.
I’m feeling naughty now, turned on and in the mood for a good time. We’re fairly well hidden by the bushes and I can’t see anyone else about, just the distant sound of a few lads playing football the other side of the park.
The old man stands by us, not really knowing what to do, but definitely with his eyes on my tits which I’m still showing off to their best advantage. My stranger is still stroking them idly.
‘Well then, let’s see what else this slut has to offer’ he suddenly announces leaning back so his shoulders are level with my hips. He starts stroking my fingers along the inside of my legs, higher and higher up my thighs. I shiver with anticipation, wanting his desperately to touch my pussy. He runs his finger along the edge of my knickers and then across the thin material until his thumb rests of my already awoken clitoris. He starts pressing down harder and I instinctively open my legs wider pushing my skirt up to my hips.
‘Oh she likes that!’ he laughs to the older man who is leaning over to get a look too. ‘Come and look, let’s have a look at her cunt’
The older man moves round to stand over me, his eyes widen as my knickers are pulled to one side. I know I’m already wet with excitement and I’m loving the visible effect I am having on the men. I feel naughty, sexy and turned on.
I feel a finger slide into my pussy; it starts moving slowly in and out rubbing my clit as it pulls out. Oh it feels good! I’m now gasping with pleasure and can feel myself getting even wetter. I enjoy the feeling for a few minutes and make a decision that I need to give something back.
‘Come here’ I say to the older man, reaching my hand out to him.
He doesn’t need any further instruction and moves closer, undoes his trousers and pulls his already hard cock out of his pants and places it in my hand. I start to caress him causing him to moan and groan. I start to wank harder and he starts to groan harder. He moves closer to me, kneeling over me as I toss his cock back and forth. As I do this I feel another finger sliding into my pussy and a thumb on my clit. I’m gasping with pleasure too as I feel another finger sliding into my arse. As I feel myself building up to orgasm I suddenly feel a splatter of come on my check, I open my eyes to watch as the old man spurts down onto me. It’s a huge load and the sticky cum drips onto my face and in my hair. To finish off the man leans down and rubs his cock around my face and mouth. I hungrily lick at his cock as he slides it around my lips tasting his salty seed.
I’m close to coming myself now and can feel my cunt gushing. I’m being fingered in both holes vigorously and am gasping and moaning louder, arching my back as I start to come.
‘Come on, she needs fucking!’ I hear and I’m suddenly aware of another presence. Opening my eyes I see the old man zipped up and standing to leave. My gaze falls on two other men watching me.
‘Do you want fucking?’ one of them asks with a smile.
‘Oh God yes!’ I respond eagerly. My orgasm has subsided but I really want to be filled with a cock before I cum.
‘Come and get her then’ my stranger says sliding his fingers out of me and grabbing my waist to flip me over. I shift into all fours, my tits still hanging out of the vest top, my skirt up around my waist. My wet hole no doubted open and ready to be used.
The two men approach, one kneels in front of me taking a boob in each hand muttering about fantastic tits. He’s squeezing them hard, massaging them roughly. The other behind me; I feel his hands each side of my hips. I barely feel his cock nudging against my pussy lips before he pushes himself deep into me. He’s big, I feel my cunt stretching and then tightening around his fat shaft. I don’t care about anything now. My face is still sticky with cum, I’m half naked and a man whose face I haven’t even seen is banging into me as others look on. The man in front of me can barely keep my tits in his hands as I am pushed back and forth by the guy fucking me. It’s hard and fast as if he wants release as quickly as possible. He’s using my hole for his own pleasure, but hell, I’m loving it too!
The man in front has his cock out now, I’m guessing it’s smaller than the guy fucking me, but it’s a decent size and is very hard. I open my mouth and look up at him. He knows what I want and shoves his cock in my mouth. I’m still being fucked so it’s tricky to suck but no one seems to mind!
‘Look at the slut being spit roasted!’ I hear. I love it, love being slutty.
‘I’m going to shoot into your sopping cunt’ I hear another voice. With one last hard thrust I start to feel the cock inside me throbbing and my hole being pumped with his come. He’s deep in me, his hips against my arse, I hear him panting as he pulls out of me.
‘Come on, my go!’ his mate says taking his cock out of my mouth and moving behind me. He pushes me down so I’m flat on my stomach. I can feel the other mans spunk leaking out of me as I try to catch my breath.
My legs are suddenly pulled open and I feel the man’s weight on me. He’s right on top of me so I can barely move and hardly breathe. He’s got my arms pinned to the ground as he pushes his dick inside me. I can hardly move as he fucks me, it’s not comfortable but the feeling that I can’t escape both unnerves me and thrills me. I can hear more voices as more men arrive. I realise they are probably the lads I heard playing football earlier. They don’t say a lot, maybe its shock at what they are witnessing or they are too busy watching to make small talk. As I’m thinking about how exciting this is I feel the second man starting to come inside me. He grips my arms tightly as he collapses on top of me. He stands up quickly and says, ‘I needed that, how handy to come across this slag.’ The others laugh.
I move up onto my hands and knees again. I can feel the come sliding down my thighs.
‘Look at her, she needs filling up some more!’ a voice I’ve not heard yet says. They don’t seem to acknowledge me; it’s as if I’m just a hole to be used.
I don’t mind...
Those of you who follow 'the industry' will be fully aware of the recent murders of two sex workers and several blogs have already talked about them so I am not going to regurgitate their words when so much has been beautifully written already.
What I wanted to to do was highlight these terrible events and promote the demonstration happening on Friday to those of you who follow this blog and may not have read about the deaths of Dora in Turkey and Jasmine in Sweden.
Please do take time to read the following links:
From Tits and Sass by Caty Simon
Sometimes it's just a cigar blog Justice for Jasmine by Jemima. Do read the comments made by Jasmine's mother
It's time for ACTION by Laura Lee
From The International Commitee on the Rights of Sex Workers in Europe by Luca Stevenson
and the press release from the ICRSE
Following the murders of Dora Özer and Petite Jasmine on the 9th and 11 of July 2013, sex workers, their friends, families, and allies are coming together to demand an end to stigma, criminalisation, violence and murders. In the week since the two tragedies occurred, the feelings of anger, grief, sadness and injustice – for the loss of Dora and Jasmine, but also for the senseless and systemic murders and violence against sex workers worldwide – have brought together people in more than 25 cities from three continents who agreed to organise demos, vigils, and protests in front of Turkish and Swedish embassies or other symbolic places. JOIN US on Friday the 19th at 3 pm local time and stand in solidarity with sex workers and their loved ones around the world! Justice for Dora! Justice for Jasmine! Justice for all sex workers who are victims of violence!
Words taken from http://jasmineanddora.wordpress.com/
What I'd love is for some non sex worker type to come out in support too. Do read the above links to see where a demo is happening near you.
If you can't make it then you can do your bit by getting #stigmakills to trend on twitter at 8am, 12pm and 10pm. Follow @whorephobia for more info and look out for my relevant tweets which you can retweet.
The irony of course is that those who aren't connected with the industry will be too embarrassed what other people might think to stand in solidarity with us.
Take a little bit of that fear or shame and use it to understand how stigma, whorephobia, shite laws and injustice effect the lives and cause the deaths of sex workers.
Do it for the Jasmines and Doras of the world.
I am back from my last minute trip to Liverpool and reunited with my phone. i shall be working most of this week and trying to keep cool and maybe get a bit of a tan! I'm not one for sun worshiping- I get bored laying about and too much sun gives me a headache. I'm also (despite my other bad habits) quite obsessed about ruining my skin with too much sun and being burnt is very unattractive and painful. I don't want to end up all leathery and wrinkly and I'm really not that fussed about being brown. I shall continue to consider myself as a pale and interesting English rose!
I am about to go out and get me a fan for the boudoir. I was going to last year but by the time I got my act together the heatwave had gone away and I never got round to it. Of course no doubt everywhere will be sold out...
I have just had a quick look on Argos at the fans- I thought I'd get a tower one because they look more discreet and are meant to be quieter. As with everything these days they have a customer review section. I think they are meant to be helpful, but when 50% of people say the fan is very quiet and the other 50% say it is noisy it isn't actually very helpful! I really want a quiet one because a noisy fan is hardly a soothing sensual background noise is it?
Now am looking at good old John Lewis. I however can not justify a £350 Dyson fan and everything else is sold out!
*sigh* I must be more organised in future and not wait for hot weather to kick in and the world and his dog goes off fan buying!
Of course if the weather changes back to cold and wet it'll because I have actually purchased a fan...
I will get around to writing soemthing more inter
Because I am a nitwit I have run away for the weekend and left my phone behind.I shall be back to do my Monday evening bookings so don't worry if you can't get hold of me Monday day time.The rest of you who want to talk to me over the weekend shall have to wait, but do drop me an email if you want to book me next week.