It's been a trying week! My bed has broken- don't worry, it is usable, just a bit wonky and I am hoping a new one will arrive next week. Which lucky man gets to christen it though?!

Yesterday I managed to lose my phone at Tesco. I think I put it down when I was sorting my shopping out after I had paid, I was walking home so stopped to rearrange it so the bags were evenly distributed. I got as far as the end of the car park and went to text someone but phone was not to be found. Went back to where I was and it wasn't there. Rang phone several times (I had my work phone on me too) no reply. Went back into the shop to ask the security man, cigarette counter lady and customer services. Nothing had been handed in. I can only assume someone dishonest picked it up the minute I left it.  I kept ringing it and noone answered- a normal person would answer a phone they had found wouldn't they and say 'Hello, I just found this phone'? So assume some stinky arse wipe has picked it up and thought they could keep it. They will also get the bonus of some rather exciting Lydia porn if they try to upload the contents of the memory card. Anyway got it blocked when I got in and had to go and get a new sim card his morning. the man in the shop was fecking usleless and unhelpful too

 I have an old phone I am using for now (which seems annoyingly dated) but I really miss my lovely HTC Sensation. Who knew how much they cost to replace?! Not me as it was a contract phone so didn't pay for it as such. More bloody expense! Also, I lost all my contacts because I am too dipsy to save the numbers anywhere else. A habit I shall get into I think!

My laptop is also playing up, it won't charge, I think its the charger lead rather than the cable so have ordered a new one of them. If not it'll be the battery ...

Anyway, I shall stop whinging now. Having a good day with some lovely clients so that all helps and keeps my mind off the above tedious crap. I have a good weekend planned so that should set me off nicely into a new week nicely! Think of me in a field either getting soaked or boiled by the sun on Sunday (Who the hell knows what the weather is going to do?!) but I have good company and some awesome music to look forward too and I have packed for all eventualities so I should be fine. Oh I even have a pale purple rain poncho which makes me look stunning! 

Oh and tonight was a first- I got paid in US dollars! 

Hope you all have a lovely weekend whatever or whoever you are doing! xxx

I spend way too much time on the internet. There is just so much stuff to look at as well as doing routine admin type stuff related to my work.  However sometimes somethings really make me laugh. This site is one of my current favourites-  http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

Go on read it, its silly and funny.

In other news, the weather has warmed up, but it's gone all sticky humid warm not nice sunshiney warm. This is worse than rain. 

This Sunday I am off to a festival. Lets hope it stays dry and not too muggy. We're only going for the day, I have never been the festival camping type and I have an aversion to portaloos and I like actual beds and a supply of electric when I go away somewhere.  All I need to do is decide what to pack. The way things have been I will be taking a brolly and suntan lotion and probably several bits of clothes in case its hot/gets cold in the evening/rains/I spill something on me. Oh and sturdy boots, pretty shoes and flat shoes for when pretty shoes start to hurt.  I fear I may need a big backpack to put all this stuff in... 

People ask me if I get asked for 'weird kinky stuff' quite a lot. I think they think this world is like Billie Piper's in Belle du Jour. Apart from the fact I don't do the really kinky stuff (well not as an escort anyway!) I think most chaps just like a nice time with straightforward chatting and sex. OK, I get the odd unusual request but rarely anything outlandish!

What I do get is stuff like this:

I AM XXXX FROM UK,YOU CAN REACH ME ON
(phone number) I WILL NEED YOU ON MY VACATION TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 10TH OF JULY AND I WILL BE THERE FOR 8DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA. I JUST CHECK YOUR ADS OUT AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU . PLEASE MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD
SUM. HOPE 2,000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS OK. AND AN
UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE. ALL NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED BY ME SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO ME ASAP. LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING BACK FROM YOU. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME . PLEASE DO GET BACK TO ME ASAP BECAUSE OF OTHER THINGS AT HAND BECAUSE AM ALWAYS BUSY.LOL JUST MAIL ME BACK OKAY?

Points of note:
Is your caps lock key stuck?
Nigeria is now a continent and Africa a country?
There are 8 days in a week?
There are states in the UK?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hmmm, what would I spent £16k on?!

I think not!
If you are genuine Mr Caps Lock you might need to try a different approach!

However, I would quite like an all expenses paid mini break somewhere in Europe. Please contact me to arrange this. I am very good company and will want to do cultural stuff and eat in nice restaurants. I will also have sex with you!  :) 

Well.... someone might want to, it's worth a shot no?! 

Am thrilled to see I have another Field Review on the Punternet Website. Here it is if you'd like to read it!
 Click here

Not only is it fabulous to get these reviews, they do wonders for my ego but it's lovely to know someone enjoyed their time with you enough to make the effort to write a report. Of course these things never hurt business and any record from a third party to prove I am who I say I am and that I do offer a good service is a good thing!

I'm thrilled because it is so lovely and from a lovely man (and no I'm not just saying that!)

In other news my campaign to spur England on to victory was futile, but at least I don't have to keep thinking of fun, sexy, relvant pictures to take!

I meant to get some pics in my Union Jack dress ready for the Jubilee, but a) I am not that organised and b0 It didn't seem a respectful way to mark The Queen's 60th year on the throne. See, I am a nice girl!  Anyway, I finally got round to doing a set this afternoon and have uploaded them to my Adultwork private gallery. But because you, my special website readers are so lovely I shall give you a couple of shots now! :)

I'm being very modest here! Would you like a full blown tits out shot? Yes, I hear you cry? My pleasure...

Just a quick piccie. I have no news. I may blog later when I am more awake about something other than football and my boobs!  

Do note the red and blue nail polish. I bought some white but it just looked like I tippexed on my nails (like we did at school) so gave up on it and stuck with red and blue. 

So, inevitably Spain beat France which means they will meet Portugal in the semis. Of course (and sadly) Germany beat Greece which is a shame because Greece really need cheering up right now and of course it means when (if) England beat Italy tomorrow we shall meet the Germans and we all know that rarely ends well....

Of course the Italians and The Germans don't have me and my various body parts encouraging them on. Here is picture 2 of 3 from the red vest with St George's cross in diamante design set!

Today I have tidied and cleaned and sorted tedious paperwork out. It was dull but useful. I am now watching TOTP2. They just played this which I sang along to.

Let's just ignore the ridiculous outdated notion of the song and the fact any man of mine would be likely you say 'Yuck, fuck off' if I tried to sing this to them, but alone in my lounge it makes for a nice singalong!

Right, things to do, people top see, toddle pip folks! 

If you look hard enough you can see the diamante studded St Georges Cross. Go on, look closely!

More supportive England pics tomorrow and Sunday! I might even get a boob out!

In the mean time have a look at my lovely friend Sarita, you may recognise my blue England  top...

Seeing as I am planning on being in the West Midlands for a jaunt with a friend I thought I would pay a visit to Birmingham City Centre for a couple of days before hand.
Just booked the hotel room so I thought i would tell you all in good time so you can get me in your diaries!

I shall be there from about 3pm on Thursday 2nd August until the morning of Saturday 4th.

There seem to be a lot of myths and confusion about female ejaculation or squirting as it is often referred to. I had no idea such a thing existed until a few years ago- It was never something anyone talked about and I think I discovered it through porn. Even then I thought that it was faked and women couldn't actually do it.


Then after a period in the sexual wilderness (I was married to a dickhead whose idea of foreplay was telling me to ‘make yourself ready' which meant taking my knickers off) I started to experiment alone. Obviously masturbation has been part of my life for as long I remember, but lately had been nothing more than a quick finger shuffle under the bedclothes before said dickhead was in bed.


When he was out of the country I went back to exploring my own sexuality a bit further (read into that what you will). Armed with a new vibe in hand, some filthy fantasies in my head and plenty of time to play I started to become a lot wetter than I ever had before. Talking to a dear male friend of mine I discovered he had a bit of an obsession with squirting women and talking to him got me to thinking whether it was something I could learn to do! There was certainly a lot of fluid going on down there and whilst it was more like gushing than squirting I wondered if I had the potential.


A female friend I stayed with for a while confessed to me one night that she squirted most times she had sex. It came naturally to her and without special stimulation to get there so I felt more assured this wasn’t just a myth created by porn and got me wondering more about it.

So, what is it exactly? There is a lot conflicting information out there which doesn't help, but I think I've figured out the most up to date and most likely information. There's a lot of crap too, outdated medical info and websites only interested in selling you a DVD! The scientific research however, seems to point towards it being something all women can do but very few actually do and those that can will do it to different degrees and regularity.


A little History
Billed as a new phenomenon, or something that women *have* to learn how to do on most websites, further reading indicates this is not the case at all.


The Kama Sutra mentions and celebrates female ejaculation and many Indian temples including Khajuraho (Madhya Pradesh), Konark Sun Temple (Orissa) and Vijayanagara temples (Karnataka) have carved images depicting female ejaculation.
Chinese sex handbooks, such as Secret Methods of the Plain Girl by Su Nu Ching (Sui Dynasty 590–618 AD), also describe ejaculation "Copious emissions from her inner heart begin to exude outward" which is a nice way of putting it I think!


Greek and Roman writers debated about female ejaculation- not whether it existed or not- that was a given but whether the fluids were progenitive (contributed towards procreation) and were part of a woman’s fertility. Aristotle (384–322 BC) did not believe that the fluids were progenitive and in the Generation of Animals, argues that the function of the fluid is pleasure, not procreation.


On the other hand Hippocrates (460–370 BC) and Galen (129–200 AD) stated that female ejaculation served the same purpose as male semen. Hippocrates stated "if the ejaculate of the man runs together directly with that from the woman, she will conceive".
So, no debate on the existence of female ejaculation! Of course we know now that female vaginal fluid serves no purpose in making babies.


Fast forward to 17th century now, it appears no article on female ejaculation can pass without mention to The Dutch anatomist Regnier de Graaf, wrote an influential treatise on the reproductive organs Concerning the Generative Organs of Women. He identified the source of female ejaculation as the glandular structures and ducts surrounding the urethra. De Graaf referred to an erogenous zone in the vagina that he linked with the male prostate. Later this zone was rediscovered by the German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg-and is now known as the g-spot after him. More on that later.


Despite de Graaf’s observations, modern Western medicine did not fully accept the concept of a "female prostate" until 2001 when the Federative Committee on Anatomical Terminology agreed to use this term in their next edition of Histology Terminology.
We don’t want to dwell on the 19th century too long as Freud and his ilk were busy writing about feminine hysteria, the dangers of masturbation and that … ‘an abnormal secretion of the mucous membrane of the vagina is looked upon as source of disgust”.


It wasn’t all negative though, Almeda Sperry writing to her lover Emma Goldman in 1918 referred to the "rhythmic spurt of your love juices" and anatomical knowledge was coming on in leaps and bounds.


Alexander Skene's description of para-urethral or periurethral glands (glands around the urethra) in 1880, was moving us in the right direction towards explaining female ejaculation and are now commonly referred to as the Skene's glands. It’s generally thought that these glands are one source of the fluids in the ejaculate.


However, things hadn’t moved on that much into the 20th century. Feminist writer Sheila Jeffreys (1985) was dismissive of female ejaculation, claiming it as a figment of male fantasy and psychiatrist Helen Singer Kaplan stated in 1983 that “Female ejaculation (as distinct from female urination during orgasm) has never been scientifically substantiated and is highly questionable, to say the least.”


So, what is female ejaculation?
There hasn't been a great deal of research on female ejaculation, mainly because scientific funding tends to go towards financing serious medical conditions. However, there finally seems to be a general agreement in the medical world about the sources of female ejaculation. It's just a matter of ignoring the out of date stuff!


Firstly, let’s cover ‘usual’ vaginal lubrication. This starts at the very earliest stage of arousal in a woman and can occur through mental or visual arousal, not just the physical. This is where it differs from the liquid produced during ejaculation which takes a little more work.
The great vestibular glands (also known as the Bartholin’s glands) found on the edge of the hymen and labia minora (your inner flaps!). These glands secrete a small amount of thin mucus lubricant which aids in the lubrication of the vagina. Alongside this, most of the "wetness" of female sexual arousal actually comes through the vaginal walls from the tissues which lie directly beneath them. This liquid permeates the membranes as small droplets which join one another quite quickly, forming a smooth coating of the vaginal walls. These juices play an essential part in ensuring the vagina is ready to be penetrated by a penis. I’m sure many of you ladies can contest how uncomfortable it is to be entered before ready!

How Female Ejaculation works
There have always been scientific and social writings that explain female ejaculation away by claiming it is urine and many women may have assumed they had wet themselves when it has happened to them. This is one reason why female ejaculation has been a taboo for so long. No one wants to admit they pissed all over their lover, oh hang on actually…Joking aside, you see my point about embarrassment.


Whilst there may be traces of urine in female ejaculate due to its location, researchers have concluded that it contains some chemical ingredients similar to those produced by the male prostate - notably PSA (prostate-specific antigen). It is also said to contain two sugars: glucose and fructose. Since 2000, an increasing number of researchers have suggested the liquid may come from Skene's glands. These are tiny secretory structures which lie around the female urethra (the urinary pipe). Basically, the liquid is pretty much the same as male ejaculation minus the sperm.


Not every woman can easily ejaculate, In my reading I have found those who are adamant that all women can tend to be flogging a DVD,a seminar, book or trying to get you to sign up (i.e. pay) for the information on how to. In Masters and Johnson's famous lab experiments with over 400 women, they did not record anyone who ejaculated at climax. I did have some other stats on how many women claim to ejaculate, but I can't find the webpage now. sorry. In a nutshell not many- I think various findings put it at between 5% to 20% of women.

I think it’s probably best to conclude that most women probably can but every woman have different physical make up in the same way that some men have different size penises or that some women have more sensitive nipples than others. Added to that weak pelvic floor muscles or the inability to properly relax will play a part in it. I do agree with most writers on this topic that It does takes practice to perfect this trick and I think on your own is a good place to start! Even with a close partner you may not truely relax enough.
So whilst the internet seems tell us all women can do it, medical knowledge tells us all (healthy, normal) women have the right parts it seems not many women actually do it. In my experience many of my clients haven’t seen gushing before, or at least not very often, maybe in only one previous partner.


How to do it
So, what do you need to know? Well- The female prostate as first discovered by our friend de Graaf and then further clarified by Grafenberg is known as the g-spot. Even the existence of this has been debated... My personal feelings (and one pretty much proven by the science guys) are is that it’s there, but produces a different feeling when stimulated in different women. Some women will explode with happiness at the merest touch, others will find it uncomfortable to be touched and others will require more time. So, as the G-spot is stimulated the surrounding tissue slowly fills with ejaculate from the prostate gland. As a woman orgasms (although I'm debating the orgasm bit), contractions of the pelvic muscle cause the fluid to “squirt” forcefully through the urethra. Fluid volume (and G-spot size) varies in amount from woman to woman.


Just to confuse the issue some writers refer to this area as the urethral sponge. So, call it what you will, the important thing is to start the search when you are (or your woman is) already turned on.


Insert your fingers or dildo, aiming for the front wall (the side with your tummy button!) of the vagina. Stroke this area with a "come hither" motion. If you use your fingers, you'll feel the difference in texture between this area, which is rough, and the rest of the vaginal walls, which are smooth. It has also been described as bean shape, the size of a quarter (however big that it!?!) or as spongy.


Personally, I know where mine is but just pressing on it does absolutely nothing for me. These days gushing just kind of happens! I don’t (or my partner doesn’t) have to search for it! My personal routine may not work for another woman, which is another reason why I think these how to.. guides and seminars are mainly bollocks and pointless to pay for. There's plenty of free stuff and it's a bit trial and error anyway.


I’m convinced most the battle is mentally relaxing, not thinking you’re going to pee and lots and lots of stimulation in that general area as well as lots of practice (there are worse things to do with your time!) . Over the last year I can start getting pretty wet within minutes, the more hardcore gushing takes longer and of course it happens more quickly if I do it myself! It is also quicker if I’m already pretty turned on to start with!


Whilst researching this article I came across this answer in response to the question: ‘Can all women squirt?’ on Yahoo answers- I can't and I have never seen it. But I must admit, that has got to be the most disgusting thing in the world. If I were to do that, I would move to a foreign country and live in a cave for the rest of my life. Thank you and have a nice day.
Okaaaay! Each to their own opinion, but a little dramatic!


Despite Niagara Falls type gushing I still hadn’t figured out how to make the liquid squirt any distance. I have kind of learnt how to expel the gushing faster (it’s the pelvis muscles that cause the ejaculation apparently) so by almost pushing like you would do if you wanted to wee harder (the opposite way of using the muscles you use when try to stop a flow of urine I suppose) which is why I think most women don’t/can’t do it.


I’ve just found an interview with Rebecca Chalker on About.com who says:

There are many reasons that some women do not ejaculate noticeable spurts of ejaculate. Under the intercourse model, many women do not become sexually aroused enough to ejaculate. The penis may block female ejaculation during intercourse, or it may be blocked by a hand or the head of a vibrator. The tiny glands on either side of the urethra (the paraurethral glands) may have been scarred over by infection. Lack of regular sexual activity may also be a factor. Perhaps the principle of muscle exercise applies: use it or lose it.



A final note on my personal experiences. Nearly all articles state that the ejaculation comes with the orgasm. Not so with me and also not with my friend who can squirt great distances. This is a massive source of frustration because men think she’s come and stop doing what they are doing! Whilst the feeling is great whilst I’m gushing away I am not coming and not even particularly close to it a lot of the time. Trust me, you'll know when I've come. (I want to go to sleep straight after)!

The time I did get a bit of an ejaculation (those who have seen it can testify here!) it was definitely a whoosh- not quite up into the air but with considerable force- far enough to hit the camera a foot away! No idea what I was doing differently (other than sitting up with legs open) than any other time. Will just have to continue to experiment!


The… and finally… bit
In the United Kingdom, the British Board of Film Classification has banned films alleged to show female ejaculation, claiming that the expert medical advice they received informed them that there is no such thing as female ejaculation, and therefore it was deemed to show urine (which is prohibited). They later stated instead that they do not take any view on whether female ejaculation exists, only claiming that all examples they have seen thus far during classification have been urination during sex. In Australia, a similar view has been taken with regards to Internet Censorship proposals, which ban pornographic websites featuring female ejaculation.

Note: I originally wrote this a couple of years ago. I have since achieved squirting into the air and hitting people in the face status!

Please note I can not do this on command so please don't book me expecting a fountain, It's still usually a waterfall and only then if you press the right buttons!