delve a little deeper....
One of the things I often ask callers booking me is if they have any requests. It's a polite way of trying to figure out what they want from their booking so I can prepare in advance or advise them in case it's something I don't offer.
To be fair, most chaps are after a basic GFE service or if they have a specific service or roleplay in mind they talk to me about it during the call.
When it comes to what to wear I have several outfits I tend to put on as standard based on what most chaps want. Always stockings (or hold ups), heels and usually short and low cut skirt and top. Partly because they are easy and most men when questioned prefer heels and stockings and something a bit slutty. The usual way of being asked for slutty is to say 'something low cut to show your boobs off!' which I like. I'm not exactly shocked that it's often my tits that draw a man to me! That and my sparkling personality and witty repartee!
Despite many of my photos being of me in basques and corsets I rarely actually get asked to wear these which is fine by me. They tend not to lend themselves easily to certain services such as breathing or bending over. That's not to say I won't wear them if asked, as long as it's in advance. Nothing more annoying than being texted ten minutes before a meeting being ask to wear a corset. In fact being asked to wear anything that I am not currently wearing at such short notice is annoying!
I get the odd request for leather, latex, PVC or rubber which surprises me because I don't feature any of these items on my website of photographs. I also equate this kind of fetish wear to domination services which I don't do so it always makes me worry they want something I'm not about to provide.
I am also not overly comfortable with the rubbery type get ups because quite frankly I look like a giant tyre in my rubber dress. I remarked to the man who bought it for me when I tried it on that he could chuck me out the window and I'd bounce right back up again! He found me sexy though, but then again he is terribly biased. So, I don't advertise the rubber dress (Oh shit, I just have haven't I?) Also, I'm not sure I can actually get into it without help!
i suppose the point being, however hot someone might find me, if I don't feel good in an outfit then I don't feel sexy and let's face it sexual confidence from a woman is probably what makes her sexually appealing.
What does always make me smile, is when clients ask me to 'wear something sexy'. As if I wouldn't. As if I would open the door in a pair of grubby leggings and a floppy old top with beans spilled down the front. Although from reading various punting sites, some women don't seem to make any effort and clients have been welcomed by escorts in shell suits and flip flops.
Many lovely clients feel uncomfortable about asking a woman to wear something in particular and often requests are tagged with 'if that's ok' or 'it's not vital though' or 'whatever you feel comfortable in' which is lovely and sweet but I actually really don't mind being asked. Partly because it's their experience and I want to do it the best I can and also it appeals to me slightly submissive side. Bossy and mouthy as I can be there is a part of me that likes being told what to do. That and I'm lazy and being told means I don't have to think!
I guess it's the same reason many powerful, busy, successful people enjoy being submissives. They like to be able to relinquish control and not be the one everyone looks to to make decisions.
Anyway, I digress. The point being, I don't mind being asked if I could wear a certain thing. Within reason of course. I am not the costume department at the BBC and can not conjurer up any outfit in any colour within minutes!
Something I often read on escorts websites is that they don't have costumes and then go on to say they dislike tacky cheap uniforms. Fine, but why be so sneering about it? I don't have many, and to be honest I do find a lot of them a bit naff, but I feel good and have had great fun in my nurse and French Maid outfits.
Maybe, part of the reason is that I enjoy roleplay a lot and I guess like an actor getting into their costume; dressing up gets me into the mindset!
So, in a nutshell, do feel free to suggest what you'd like me to wear (as long as it's not the rubber!).
Please take note the new header to my blog.
This came about from a throwaway comment made by a young man called Starsalign in the Punternet chatroom. I had just sent him a link to an informative blog I had written on roleplay and he said that having read another how to.. article of mine my blog was like a encyclopedia, nay! A Minxipedia! I thought this was a fab new word and became determined to use it somehow.
This is how it works:
1. A girl or young woman who is considered pert, flirtatious, or impudent.
2. Obsolete A promiscuous woman.
A comprehensive reference work containing articles on a wide range of subjects or on numerous aspects of a particular field
The Greek phrase is enkuklios paideia, made up of enkuklios, "cyclical, periodic, ordinary," and paideia, "education," and meaning "general education." Copyists of Latin manuscripts took this phrase to be a single Greek word,enkuklopaedia, with the same meaning, and this spurious Greek word became the New Latin word encyclopaedia, coming into English with the sense "general course of instruction," first recorded in 1531. In New Latin the word was chosen as the title of a reference work covering all knowledge. The first such use in English is recorded in 1644.
So, I came up with this:
The blog of a young (ish) flirtatious, promiscuous woman containing work on a variety of subjects, but mainly on sex work, sex and general ramblings to educate and amuse. First used in 2013.
Oh and obviously I use the Name Minxy!
I didn't think it was worth categorising my various blog in an encyclopedia style elsewhere when anything can be easily searched for using the search tool on my website and nothing really needs to be recorded twice on the internet so I decided to rename my blog The Minxipedia.
And there we go Stars, you now have internet fame!
I followed someone new on Twitter on Friday night. She was a follower of a follower, I was just being friendly. Didn't think any more of it.
Then on Saturday morning she tweeted me to say: I would prefer that you don't follow me please. Some of your photos are totally inappropriate.
Oh. Oops. I know some people don't wish to follow me because they don't want questions raised over why they are following an escort. I get that for some chaps there may be an uncomfortable line of questioning from their partner even if they are not actually a client or have no intention of booking a sex worker. I don't *just* tweet about work or pictures of my tits! Some people follow me for other reasons.
Anyway. I assume if I have followed someone who is appalled to have me following them they just quietly ignore me and don't follow back or just block me. I have friends who I have discussed twitter with and they don't follow me because they don't want to see/hear about some of the more naughty side of my life. That's fine, in the conventional world it's not usual to see your friends tits or hear about her kinky habits. It's fine. and besides my actual real life friends and I stay in touch by other methods and it helps not blurring lines between the side of me that isn't Minxy.
I was however, a bit more offended by this woman's next comment: I also understand that you are an escort- really not what I was to have following me.
I'm a what? not a who? I'm an inanimate object? A disgusting concept? Snotty cow! Now trust me, I came up with all sorts of scathing comments to retaliate with but decided I would leave it and simply retweet her second comment.
I guess I thought a couple of followers might comment to me about how rude she was or maybe some of my non whoreish followers would learn that as lovely as they think I am, others do not think the same and that some people forget we sex workers are actually real rounded people. So, I retweeted, went for breakfast and I didn't think any more of it.
However, a couple of people did pick up on it, mainly Violet Rose, a lovely escort based in Scotland. She questioned both the tweets and then Dr Brooke Magnanti waded in with;
'Let's all follow her! All of my photos are appropriate.'
Lots of people took notice then!
I was truly amazed, amused and genuinely touched so many people were sticking up for me! It didn't help that my cross non follower decided to retaliate by telling my sex worker chums and allies (including Dr Magnanti!) to get a proper job! She said:
If any escorts follow me, I will block them. Try to get a better life. Try working hard.”
By now tweets were popping up all over the place from all over the world saying they would follow her and being angry that she seemed to think that we were all lazy and that we should try working in the City to see what hard work really was. One of my favourite tweets was from @fornicatrix who said:
Trust me, I did some serious work with city traders last couple weeks. About 15 of them actually. It's pretty hard work.
Hee hee! Several people questioned how being a city worker could possibly be considered better than sex work, @bustysarita said:
Love the notion that working in the city is somehow a more 'noble' way to earn money than our profession.
So, I expect she spent the afternoon blocking a huge number of sex workers and not only that but anyone else who followed her, assuming they were sex workers. I would love to know how many people she had to block!
Later on in the afternoon my train family (I have a huge number of followers who work in the rail industry and no it's not because train drivers are more inclined to see escorts!) jumped on board (ha, see what I did there?) and started to critisise her actions and question whether their jobs were worthy enough to be followed too! It was a lovely show of solidarity from them who have no agenda or connection to sex work, just that they are sweet decent people who do not like to see prejudice and rudeness.
I didn't approve of some of the tweets that were a bit mean and personal towards her, but I felt warmed that so many people responded and it felt like I was part of a big gang who had my back. Working alone often means you miss out on the same camaraderie that you get in a conventional workplace.
I was sad to be reminded that there are plenty of people out there who do not like me on the basis of what I do for a living. One gets used to reading the bile of the feminist anti prostitution movement and whilst they make me angry, I sort of accept their existence and accept that *some* of the things they say about the nasty side of the industry are true.
It's quite odd to be reminded that I am hated and judged purely on what I do for a living. As a white, middle class Brit whose sexuality is generally judged as straight I am in a position of privilege for the most and have never really been discriminated against. Even as a woman I have worked in industries that aren't sexist and being female has never been a barrier for me so I guess I had a small taste of what other people receive every day of their lives. Gosh. It was quite thought provoking.
Anyway, the lovely Violet Rose blogged about this too and she also explains whorephobia much better than I could so do have a read! This is the the link. Do also read this article Violet links to at the bottom of her blog post here.
Remember the naughty bunny? Well for those who can't be arsed to read the link, in a nutshell I was sent a bunny ear set with only one ear attached to it. I wrote an email complaining about the one eared-i-ness of the bunny ears to the eBay seller. I got nothing in reply and ended up going with the one eared bunny look...The one eared bunny.
The bunny set and posting was only £3.69 so I forgot all about it and the whole one eared bunny thing was quite amusing.
The other day I got an email reminding me I hadn't left any feedback, so I did.
Today, I got sent an email from the seller. It went like this:
My name is Paul Brown, I am the director of BuySend. I was saddened to see the recent poor feedback you left and would like to rectify the situation immediately.
For the inconvenience caused I am willing to refund £10 of your sale price, or alternatively a full refund if your total sale price was lower. If you have already been refunded (for example if your item was out of stock), I am willing to refund you a further £10 via PayPal as compensation.
In return for this, I would be very grateful if you could revise your feedback to a 5 Star Rating so that we can keep our eBay Top Rated Seller badge.
IMPORTANT… THIS REFUND CAN ONLY BE PROCESSED IF YOUR DSR RATINGS ARE CHANGED TO 5 STARS.
I have just sent you a feedback revision request through eBay which will enable you to revise your feedback to a 5 Star Positive Rating. Please reply to this email once done and I will process your refund.
Thank you for your time and understanding,
So, basically they ignore my complaint and request for information regarding sending back the bunny ear set for a refund but all of a sudden I become important because they might lose their Top Rated Seller Badge.
Okaaaaay, so not only to they provide shit products (who the fuck is stupid enough not to notice a bunny ear set only has one ear?!), they don't respond to customer complaints but they STILL don't care about anything other than their Top Rated Seller Badge when they get low rated feedback.
As you may have noted, there was no apology (or even reference) to my actual issue or reasons that I didn't give them good feedback! They want to 'rectify' the situation by sending me a refund (all £3.69 of it!) but ONLY if I give them a 5 star rating!
Is this not a bribe? I know it's only a £3.69 product, but the principle is the same as if I had spent £369 or £3,690. Oh except I might have made more of a fuss if I had spent £369 on a one eared bunny set.
I duly declined the invite to change my rating and when eBay asked me why I filled the little box I told them exactly why!
I wonder if I shall hear any more about this?
You may remember this post where I mused about feminism and I summarised that:
My version of feminism, if I had to sit in a feminist camp is that is means that women are free to make the choices they want to make.
I've discussed before about my anger that there are certain groups (usually those who call themselves feminists) who detest prostitution because they believe its is abusive and harmful to women. I've banged on enough about how I really really don't like that I am told how I should be feeling about my sex work, (see this blog about why I don't feel exploited and abused if you want to know why) so I don't really need to reiterate it. What I want to tell you about today is a story about a friend of mine who was attacked on Mumsnet for taking part in a campaign for Nivea.
The campaign was called 'Dare To Dip' and the premise is that if you feel good in your own skin you have the confidence to do anything. Of course, it's a marketing campaign. Nivea don't really care about this, it's just a tool to promote their products. Which is fine, every commercial organisation tells us our life will be incomplete without their product so I'm not crisitsing them for that!
Part of the campaign was to have a giant fish tank (minus the fishes obviously) in Covent Garden in central London where women would don their swimming cossies and have a swim.
My friend took part in this. Here are her reasons in her own words:
"I am finally healed from my horrific pregnancy and birth, and want to reclaim my body from medicine. I am making a stand to get healthy so that I can keep up with my amazing 2 year old, and wanted this to be a very literal splash into my project. I don’t care about corporate definitions of beauty, but I want to keep my fabulous spirit for the next 40+ years, and I cannot do that in this body. So, I need to make a healthy change, and that begins today."
So, it was something she wanted to do for very personal reasons. She knew it was a marketing campaign, she got some free products, she chose to do it when Nivea asked her, she didn't feel exploited, she did feel empowered.
However, many women on Mumsnet did not. The person who stated a thread about the Covent Garden event claimed she was disgusted at it because all these women were being letched at by men, that the women were objectified, that she should have been paid and all with total incredulous that she could possibly find it liberating or empowering. The refusal to accept my friends more accurate summary of the event and that yes she enjoyed it and did not feel exploited.
You can almost hear the following Mumsnetter use the same pseudo innocent voice Caroline Ahern used as Mrs Merton when she asked Debbie McGee "So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?":
"I must be a bit dense, but I still don't get it. What power do you and the other women have now that you didn't a couple of days ago?"
The refusal of these women to actually read what my friend was saying and comprehend where she was coming from was remarkable. It very much reminded me of the way the anti prostitution brigade like to shout over us sex workers who are happy and not exploited. They have their hands over their ears and their eyes tightly shut as they SHOUT and SHOUT about how we are doing all women a disservice. My friend was told:
"So is the idea that when I was a teenager, and felt disempowered when men stared, groped, or made lewd comments, the empowering response to that would have been to take my clothes off?"
"But to say this stuff is "empowering" is really very silly indeed. And a measure of how the media brainwashes all of us."
My friend summarises by saying:
"I was really, really insecure post baby about my very large size and physical issues (really, really traumatic birth that did a number on me internally as well as externally), but screwed up my courage and did something I loved to do but haven't been able to for quite a long time, take a dip in a pool. And, I got to do it in a grand, supportive environment. So, for me, that was a great big 'Hell yeah' to what I've gone through the last 2 years.
For someone else, it was an entirely different reason. For some, it may have been (gasp) just a fun thing to do. It's almost as if each one of us came to it with a different reason, and took something distinct away from it. Crazy, I know! It's almost as if we're all different beings with different needs and choices."
When she finally gave up with reasonable explanations of the facts of the event and why she felt good about doing it she stated that she didn't really care what these people thought, so of course the pack started on the attack by saying how awful it was that she didn't care about other women:
"You genuinely literally don't care about anyone else, just about you and yours?"
Sound familiar my sex work sisters?
Just because we're happy we're kicking the teeth in of those women who don't have a free happy choice to become sex workers. Yes, when our logical reasoning, explanations and examples of the very positive sides of sex work becomes too much those on the other side of the fence start to tell us we are uncaring bitches who don't give a toss about anyone else.
The irony is that women's toughest battle is not with men but with other women.
Ask any escort and she will tell you this comes under one of the most annoying things to be asked on the phone.
It's not that we don't want clients to ask questions if they are not sure about something and I fully understand why a man would want to confirm that I do the services he requires, but the 'What services do you do?' question which annoys and this is why:
1. I like to think that a man has read my website and profile already decided I am the escort for him because of my looks/price/location/services etc etc BEFORE he calls me up.
2. If I listed all my services it would take ages. Yes I could mention the commonly requested ones and tell him my no nos but how do I know if this covers what he wants?
3. It feels faintly like he is a prank caller wanting to get off on my saying rude words.
4. Why can't he just say what it is he wants? Why can't he be specific? You don't ring a Chinese takeaway and say 'So, what's on the menu?'
5. It's not always convenient for me to speak about naughty things if I am out and about. I don't sit in my flat alone all day waiting for the phone to ring and I don't want to not take calls if I am hoping to arrange bookings for later in the day/week. If I am out I usually say I'm on the train (or wherever) and hope they will realise that it's better for me if they say 'I'm looking for a GFE with a tit wank and a blow job and then to finish off on your tits' So I can easily respond to this with 'Yes, that's fine!' Or, of course if he has more detailed questions to ask when a better time to speak is!
I'm honestly not being grumpy or not understanding that for some blokes it's a nerve racking phone call to make. It's just that the 'What services do you do?' question really bugs me.
Other questions that are impossible or annoying to answer:
1. Are you dirty?
2. Have you got big tits?
3. How old are you? (If it matters why not look it up first, I hardly keep it a secret online)
4. Is it you in the photos? (No, I thought I'd put up pics of my mate *insert sarcasm icon*)
5. Can I have your address? (before a booking has been arranged)
6. Do you know anyone local who is like you but younger? (Yes, I have had this one!)
7. What girls do you have available? (um, am not a brothel)
8. Can you come to an outcall in Manchester at 10pm tonight? (No)
9. Can I book you for my mate, but he mustn't know I've paid you?
10. Can I call you mummy? (No, really, please don't)
As you may be aware I had Bibi staying with me last weekend and has written up a rather fabulous booking we did together.
It is here and I suggest you read because it saves me from writing anything for your amusement today! (hee hee!) and it really explains our naughty good cop/bad cop session rather well!
Before you ask, Bibi is based in Leeds so duos are not easily arranged on a whim! We are however quite happy to be flown in your private jet to a mutually convenient location! :)
Whilst Bibi was here I did some photographs for her. I'm rather pleased how they worked out and it gave me a chance to experiment with my lovely phone camera.
Here are a few of my favourite shots! I figured you're all bored of my tits now so take a look at Bibi's and admire my photography skills. Maybe I should think about lending myself out for photo shoots for naughty ladies!
Anbd if you've not read Bibi's blog about our duo session here it is again!
Some of you may have seen the Channel 4 documentary (Sex on Wheels- link to 4oD here) last night which followed four disabled people and their quest for sex. It's always fascinating for me to watch things about sex and sexuality and even more so when escorts are part of the mix.
I don't think many people really understand prostitution to be about something more than trashy looking, down on their luck types desperate to make money or the beautiful, glamorous 'high call' call girl types who get jetted round the world, so anything that changes those perceptions is a good thing. Rarely are escorts viewed as girl next door types, motherly, intelligent thoughtful or kind. We tend to be slotted into desperate crack whore or beautiful but manipulative pigeon holes. But this documentary wasn't really about us hos, it was about people who aren't able to have a conventional sex life for various reasons.
John is 26 and has learning difficulties, his mother booked him an escort to enable him to spend some time with a woman and lose his virginity. I can understand how having your mother book you an escort can be considered weird and creepy, but in John's case his mother has had to guide him through life a little more carefully than those with less vulnerable children. As much as she wants John to have a 'normal' life she will be aware that his vulnerability could lead to him being taken advantage. The fact she can bring herself to consider his sexual needs too, something most parent's don't really want or need to think about makes her pretty remarkable.
Carl was a self confessed stud in his time. He talked candidly about the kind of sex he used to get up to (lot's of and in as many places as possible!). He was then rendered paralysed from the waist down in an accident and all that changed. He is now in a wheelchair and can not get an erection or ejaculate. However, the feelings and urges a man (or woman) gets do not necessarily change due to disability. Carl is still the same person and it appeared that losing his sex life was something he coped with less well than he ability to walk.
I once did a survey (not a very scientific one) and asked lots of men if they had to lose either a leg or their penis which would they choose. The result was overwhelmingly high on the losing the leg side! Most men didn't have to think for a second to answer that losing their cock would be much worse than losing a leg!
The documentary showed Carl undertaking various forms of drugs and therapy to try and stir his penis back to life. He had a session with a psychosexual therapist (they used another title for her, but I can't remember what it was) who was attempting to find new ways of arousing him. From what they showed it was very much about sensual body to body contact and not focusing on the penis. Whilst she did not have full sex with him and it was billed as therapy I don't think what she did was very different to how a good escort would deal with the same situation. Pete said at the end that it was the first time he had had a proper hug his since his accident. That I think is probably as much what he missed as full sex, but hadn't realised it.
Anyone who has been in this game will know that whilst caressing and sucking the penis is what most men ultimately want body contact and a more sensual approach is often what is required and what many men miss when they pay for sex. It's not all about the assumed 'fucking a hole' thing many assume sex work is about.
The third person who appeared on a documentary was a young man called Pete with cerebral palsy who dreamed of becoming a porn star. He obviously had the usual urges a man of his age has despite being physically very limited. He was shown going through escort websites and discussing the kind of woman he liked- no different from the process many men go through- is it less palatable because Pete was operating his computer mouse with a stick in his mouth?
Finally Leah was a young woman with brittle bone disease and wheelchair bound. She said she was looking for a husband. Whilst she had had lots of sex she was aware that many men choose to sleep with her because it was something different for them to do, ticking a disabled woman off their tick list. She really wanted to change and meet a nice man rather than a one night stand. All her good intentions went to pot as they showed her on a night out, pissed up and going home with another man whose attitude reeked of using her as a novelty shag. I'm sure some will critisise her of being a bit of a slut, but actually she does no different to many young women and if showing that disabled people are actually the same as the rest of us in many ways was an aim of this programme then that was achieved.
I think the documentary gave a great balance between showing the difficulties disabled people face as well as showing they also have some of the same issues, concerns and needs in life as non disabled people.
The worst thing last night was reading the twitter feed connected to the programme. The #sexonwheels hashtag really brought out the nasty, rude and heartless scum that the internet seems to breed. Of course there were some very supportive tweets about the individuals shown on the documentary but also many horrid ones. I was actually shocked at the language used (cripple, mong, spastic to name a few) and the disgust over John's mother assisting him booking Laura Lee (the escort featured in the programme).
I can not see how anyone could fail to see why John's mother chose to do what she did or that she did it with love and compassion for her son. It didn't come across as weird of creepy in any way. The grief Laura also got was pretty hideous and she is obviously much tougher than me, I could never 'go public' and face the kind of abuse she has. She was sneered at for only doing it for the money and not really caring. Really? Do you think nurses, paramedics, rape counsellors, physiotherapists and others who use their skills and compassion in their job do it for free? The notion that us escorts are 'only in it for the money' was well and truly alive. Jesus, how do you think we should pay our bills, with rainbow dust and fluffy clouds?!
The fact that many people 'hate' sex workers is one I still have a bit of a problem with. I know mostly these people are keyboard warriors and say such things online because it makes them feel big and tough and cool but it does hurt a bit. I don't like being a whole sum based on my profession.
I am no more a typical sex worker than a school teacher is typical. There are good and bad in all professions, everyone has different work styles, ethics, enthusiasm, commitment and integrity. I suppose it's no different from being considered a sleazy estate agent or a ruthless banker or a bastard tax inspector. I think it's because I have never been in a job before that incites any sort of negativity!
And, in the same way that someone with a disability isn't 'typical' it can't be assumed because they are physically or mentally impaired they have no sexual urges or a need to be hugged.
On the plus side, I was pleased that the documentary showed that escorts do offer a wide range of services and are capable of dealing with all types of clients in a caring professional manner. It reminded me why I enjoy meeting virgins and those who don't fit into the typical client category (whatever that is!) and why much of this job is about making other people feel good and not just about hot sex and a pile of used notes.
If you or someone you know has a disability and would like to read more about sex and the disabled or find an appropriate sex worker do visit the TLC trust site
1. Why when people are disgusted by sex work, they can't accept that for some people it's an enjoyable, freely chosen job.
2. Why people can't rationally listen to each other and learn.
3. Why trading insults is considered a debate or that it will achieve understanding.
4. That's it's considered acceptable to decree sex work as degrading and abusive when many who do it clearly don't feel that way.
5. If I can accept that monogamy or religion is a choice for some and wouldn't dream of telling them that it's stupid and unrealistic why can't others accept and respect my lifestyle choices.
6. How sex work can be bunged into one great big 'It's awful and wrong' lump when like many other fields and issues is multifaceted. It's like considering well paid haute couture designers in Paris and exploited sweat shop workers in India are the same.
7. That sometimes I have to stop and think 'Am I actually fucked up, degraded and abused and I don't realise it yet?' This only lasts a few seconds, but it happens!
8. Why feminism is even a word that is required in the 21st century.