delve a little deeper....
The following blog is about the experiences a friend of mine had when she was raped by a client. I have dithered about whether to post this in what is essentially a blog to promote myself and on a site where I want people to learn about me and my services. However, if you read me often enough you'll know that I do wander into other realms occasionally and this I think is important and what has happened is important to me and other sex workers.
Those of you who do not want to read about rape and sexual assault should stop now, although there won't be anything too graphic. I think this is what is known as a Trigger Warning.
I have asked my friend if I can do this and she is happy for me to so. I am going to refer to her as G. Any details which are hazy are ether because of the gaps in my own knowledge or to protect her identity
G had been working as an escort for a few years. She is in her early 30's and studying part time along with escorting and working on adult phone lines. She had decided a few months previously to stop offering full penetrative sex for various personal reasons. It was going well for her and she had retained several of her old clients.
One evening last year she saw a client she had not met before. He was nice enough on the phone and even when he arrived she was not suspicious of him or wary. He did however leave her flat after he had arrived to say he needed to get some cash and be back. Even then she wasn't concerned and thought either he will be back in a minute or he has changed his mind and made an excuse to leave and not come back. It happens.
When he came back he pulled a knife out on her, threatened her and proceeded to orally, vaginally and anally rape her. She was too terrified to struggle because he had a knife to her throat and was much stronger than her. When he left he stole her laptop.
After he left she rang me. I kicked into practical mode and told her to get off the phone and call the police and her mother (who lives locally to her, I was over an hour away).
From the 999 operator who took her call and stayed on the line whilst the police arrive to all the police officers she came in contact with she was treated kindly and with respect.
According to An Overview of Sexual Offending in England and Wales by Ministry of Justice, The Home Office & the Office for National Statistics (published January 2013) females who had reported being victims of the most serious sexual offences in the last year were asked whether or not they had reported the incident to the police. Only 15 per cent of victims of such offences said that they had done so. Frequently cited reasons for not reporting the crime were that it was ‘embarrassing’, they ‘didn’t think the police could do much to help’, that the incident was ‘too trivial or not worth reporting’, or that they saw it as a ‘private/family matter and not police business’
Baring in mind 90% of serious sexual assaults (including rape) are carried out by someone known to the victim it's easy to see why many women do not report crimes. The reasons are very different for prostitutes. The chances of sex workers knowing their attacker beforehand are much lower but there is still a feeling among many sex workers that there is no point going to the police because they don't think they will be taken seriously or that they risk arrest themselves.
Between July 2012 and April 2013 The Ugly Mug scheme has received just under 60 reports or crime, half of which were of rape or sexual assault from sex workers. Only a third of these attacks were reported to the police. According to The Metro (April 2013) The English Collective of Prostitutes said victims were afraid of being arrested.
‘Until the police prioritise prostitutes’ safety over prosecuting them, we do not think things will get better,’ said spokesman Niki Adams.
A famous case is that of Shelia Farmer who has been attacked twice in her career but still also arrested when working in a flat with other women for her own safety. High profile cases like this make women too scared to report crimes against them. Her story is here if you're interested. She is an amazing brave woman.
Of course what myself and G do is perfectly legal but many many women are breaking the law by either being street workers or work for other people in brothels or agencies who do not want to draw police attention to themselves and will discourage them from reporting crimes. So for both sex workers and non sex workers reporting sex crimes such as rape is difficult and woefully under reported
My friend did phone the police. They were fantastic. They arrived within minutes along with an ambulance. She was checked out by the medics and then taken to a police station and given a female officer for company in an informal meeting room until a specialised officer arrived to talk to her. She was then taken to a specialist centre for sexual offences where a forensic examination took place. At no point did any officer she come into contact with suggest or insinuate that she was lying about what happened or that her role as an escort made any difference to anything.
The police caught her rapist by tracking him down using his mobile phone. He still had her laptop in his possession. They also spent hours examining her flat for evidence.
The following day G had to return to the police station to give her formal statement. The police seemed confident that the arrest of her rapist would result in a trial. They took copies of her Adultwork page which made it clear she didn't offer penetrative sex services, they had the knife the rapist used, she was clearly distressed by what had happened and her 999 call was further evidence of her trauma. She reported the attack quickly so there was no question over whether it was something she had thought about because she regretted having sex with this man.
The police work closely with the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) to decide the best course of action with regards to any crime. In 1993 the CPS were accused of not taking sexual offences against sex workers seriously. The Independent newspaper reported that there was a growing number of cases where the CPS has refused to prosecute for rape because they believe the witness would be considered 'unreliable' and 'unsuitable'. In a recent case the owner of an escort agency in southern England complained to the CPS after it dropped a case involving a rape allegation made by a prostitute. The CPS denied this.
Here is a table of figures to demonstrate how few rapes result in a conviction.
These figures were taken as a 3 year average from Sexual Offending in England and Wales
Estimated number of victims of rape- 60,000-95,000
Police Recorded Figures- 15,670 (plus another 3,850 of 'detections')- Total 19,520
Rape Cases that become court proceedings- 2,910
Guilty Convictions- 1,070
Note on Detections. There are a number of ways that the police can detect a crime, including by charging a suspect, issuing a summons, or administering a caution. Sanction detections are where offences cleared up by the police result in a formal sanction issued to an offender. These can take the form of a charge or summons, a caution, a Penalty Notice for Disorder (PNDs), or offences that are asked to be taken into consideration by a court (TICs)
The figures speak for themselves really. Rape is notoriously hard to get to court let alone convict against. Add to that the added perception some people have about rape and sex workers....
G's attacker is an illegal immigrant from Africa so was detained in a London prison and not granted bail. The CPS were happy with the police evidence and the case proceeded to court.
Last week a trial went ahead at a Crown Court. He was charged with three counts of rape (oral, anal and vaginal rape are considered separate offences) as well as aggravated robbery for the theft of her laptop. Aggravated means that a deadly weapon was used.
The arresting officer who liaised with G kept her up to date throughout the period running up to and during the trial. I met him when he came to take my statement as the first person she called after the rape. He was lovely, very kind, very non plussed and non judgmental about us being escorts. He was full of admiration for her bravery and commented that he really liked how she was so open and didn't hide that she was an escort or what services she did and didn't do. i also spoke to him after she had given evidence (there was a possibility I would have to stand as a witness) and he told me how proud of her he was.
On the second day of the trial G appeared for two hours on the stand. This was done in a way she didn't have to see her attacker and she said the judge was very kind.
G couldn't fault the police or the courts in any way. It was incredibly heartening to hear how she had been treated. The arresting officer kept her up to date and was positive. Apparently after the tape of her 999 call was made the judge commented that is was pretty damning for the defense. By Thursday the jury had come to their decision.
It's hard to put into words how angry and disappointed I was. My feelings won't compare to how G must have felt of course but I was devastated her on her behalf. I wanted to find each of those twelve jury members and shake them hard. How fucking dare they pass a not guilty verdict.
Noone apart from those jurors will know how they came to that decision.
I have to remember that it is a basic presumption in our legal system that an accused person is innocent until proven guilty. The accused does not have to prove his or her innocence. It is up to the prosecution to prove that the accused is guilty ‘beyond reasonable doubt’. This means that if the jury has a reasonable doubt about whether the person is guilty, then the verdict must be 'not guilty'.
I have to try and believe that the jury felt there was not enough evidence to confidently pass a guilty verdict and not that they were prejudiced that G offered sexual services for money. It doesn't make it a less bitter pill to swallow though.
They did pass a guilty verdict on the aggravated robbery which I suppose is something. His defense basically said she cried rape because she was pissed off that he took her laptop and that they had consensual sex.
The rapist (I refuse to think of him as anything else) has been returned to prison pending an investigation into his immigration status. The sentencing is not happening until June, and I think that whatever he gets he will be deported after he has served that. With some luck he will get the maximum sentence allowed. It's a small 'at least...' I suppose. I don't believe two wrongs make a right as a rule, but I hope someone rapes his arse hard in prison.
As for G, well she doesn't regret going to the police, she is filled with praise for them. She has told me she can't and won't let this man ruin her life despite still living with nightmares, flashbacks and fear of leaving the house.
In 2006, Merseyside police declared crimes against sex workers hate crimes. In Liverpool, in 2009, police convicted 90% of those who raped sex workers. In 2010, the overall conviction rate in Merseyside for crimes against sex workers was 84%, with a 67% conviction rate for rape. 6.5% is the national average conviction rate for rape.
Much is being made of the Merseyside Model at the moment and there are calls to ensure this becomes UK wide. There is currently a government e-petition found here if you'd like to sign and here is a link to a Guardian article about the Merseyside Model.
As I have said right through this blog the London Metropolitan Police that dealt with G were fantastic, but it would be even more fantastic if this kind of treatment was UK wide and guaranteed for every woman in the sex trade. I'm not sure there was anything the police could have done to ensure a conviction for G's rapist but anything that ensures sex workers can stay safe and be treated fairly when things go wrong is a must.
Finally- a link to Ugly Mugs for those sex workers who haven't signed up-
and for thsoe of you who would like to make a donation to this cause contact them on
Telephone: 0161 629 9861
International: +44 161 629 9861
Link to the Overview of Sexual Offending in England and Wales by Ministry of Justice, The Home Office & the Office for National Statistics
OK, I need you all to read this! READ IT NOW
If you are in any position of influence or finance to help then please do so or if you have any bright ideas or suggestions for them then the links are all in the article.
I'm sorry this is only a link and not a personal piece, but I wanted to get this out there to my lovely readers and what is written here covers it all and much better than I can.
I'll post o
I was reading this blog about swinging for the single woman- Sex and the Swingle girl by Jemima in the It's just a hobby blog. It reminded me of a time when I was newly single, horny and looking for some no strings attached sex.
I met my husband when I was 25 and up until then my sex life had consisted of a few boyfriends and lots of drunken encounters. The world of swinging was just some vague notion of middle aged people trying to spice up their sex lives. Open relationships weren't a concept I had considered and although group sex was a wank fantasy I never thought I would encounter it. I never thought it would be something I would be brave enough to do and despite my various random and ridiculous encounters I had never happened across a threesome.
Then in 2007 when my marriage was well and truely down the pan and the husband was out the country (I was too scared to do anything naughty whilst he was in the country!) I discovered sex chat rooms on the internet and Gumtree (like Craiglist) which in those days had a NSA section. What a revelation! I had various MSN encounters which led to dirty phone calls and because my sex life had been put on hold (long story re shite husband), I had hit my 30's and had suddenly become aware of my sexuality and started to want to make some of my fantasies come true. I also just wanted some sex.
I had two encounters at my flat with men I had met online. They weren't great, the first guy was really shy and awkward and came on my leg within the first three minutes. Made no attempt to finish me off (or even start me off!) and I just didn't fancy him, couldn't be arsed to make a move on him and just wanted him to go away. The second man came round, fucked me vigorously and left very quickly. Whilst the thrill of being treated like this was very very exciting in some respects I did feel a bit used and whilst I wasn't looking for anything meaningful I did feel taken advantage of.
I then met a man from Liverpool in a chat room. We talked lots and had terrific phone sex as well as talking about other stuff too, a friendship I suppose. I went up to Liverpool to meet him at a hotel. We had an amazing time. I had oral sex for the first time in about nine years (yeah, he was a shit husband) and he came all over my face. This was something I became obsessed with. I had never had it done to me (Yes I was a slutty youth but it was all very tame!) and it was something really really wanted to do and I still love it now!
Liverpool boy was what I needed. He was a nice guy, not bad in bed (at the time I thought he was amazing but in retrospect that was only because I had been in the Sahara of sex for so long) and he did give me some of the sexual confidence I had lost. There was no chance of a relationship. I was married, he was miles away and had an on off complicated thing with a women he was madly in love with, but we got on and could be honest about our sexual desires, get some affection without any commitment or romance.
I then met a woman online (it's a long story and those who know me well enough will know why I'm not going to go into detail!) who was really into group sex, had gangbangs, picked up men in bars and had a boyfriend who enjoyed all this. I found it really difficult to comprehend how you could be happy watching the person you love fuck someone else, let alone a whole group of men. I guess she was the first person I met (I say met, we never met in real life, it was all by email!) who had an open relationship and participated in group sex. To me she was some sort of wildly exciting goddess who actually did some of the fantasies I had but never ever thought I would do!
After I left my husband (just under a year after my first encounter with Liverpool boy) I had barely unpacked my belongings in my new flat before I was online, gagging for sex, full of these amazing feelings of liberty and horniness! Thanks to Liverpool boy and an encounter with another man I met after LB but before I left my husband I was feeling sexy and attractive again. These men fancied me, they enjoyed fucking me and I didn't have to get them pissed for it to happen!
I had several months of fun. I picked up men online for purely sexual encounters. I wasn't interested in dating, getting to know them, I just wanted sex. It was even easier than shooting fish in a barrel! As a single woman online who wants sex without the dates I was in demand. A single advert on Gumtree would yield hundreds of responses. I was definitely in a buyers market! I had some great meets, some less so, but nothing awful. Some men I saw once (sometimes their choice, sometimes mine) and others I saw a few times.
I truely enjoyed it but I was getting to the stage that I was getting bored. The thrill of meeting strange men for sex did it for me (and still does!) but the sex was starting to get samey. I was starting to meet one man more often who I started to embark on a journey of sexual discovery with. He was someone I trusted, he had been in open relationships and was very keen to share me with other men.
He was the first man I ever enjoyed anal sex with, the first man to fist me, first man to pee on me, he gave me my first threesome. Firstly with another man and then one night we got a female escort on for my first girl on girl experience since I was 19! I did my first gangbang with him by my side and I was starting to understand the appeal of an open relationship. I started to *get* that it was possible to see someone you're really into shag someone else and not feel jealous, but hugely turned on by. Through these parties I met other men who I sometimes saw alone and once hosted a couples swinging night with one of them where I met a woman who I have since had several dalliances with and is still a great friend (sadly abroad now).
In the meantime I started escorting (after a foray on adult phone lines) so I really did't need to meet men as a single woman in the swinging world anymore. And NO I don't wish to either before anyone gets any bright ideas!
I'm not going to go into details about the swinging world. The blog link I gave you at the start of this is a great introduction.
NSA sex can be easy- it was for me when I was happily doing my picking men up and discarding them period but it can be complicated. It's really difficult not to keep jealousy out of it. It's hard not to let human emotions get in the way. I think there are very few people who are 100% comfortable with their partner whether it be a fuck buddy or a long term partner go off and shag other people, certainly more so for women than men. Call me sexist, but in my experience it's nearly always men who fantasise about watching their wife get fucked and very few women for the reverse. (Yes, I know I'm being terribly heterosexual!)
Fuck buddies or friends with benefits are all the rage these days. It doesn't just occur in the swinging scene, but with people who meet in the conventional way- at work, college, in the pub and still of course online through swinging sites, specific adult sex sights and even good old Twitter.
The key to a good fuck buddy relationship is communication and tact. Discussing what your relationship is about. Do you *just* do sex, or is it OK to do non sex stuff, like have a meal together or on a day out to the zoo. If these non sex events happen, both parties need to know that just because they are doing something other than shagging it doesn't mean anything. In my experience, both personally and knowing other people who have been in these situations often one half gets all panicky that the other wants more and withdraws. of course if one person does fall for the other and it's not mutual or convenient then things can get tricksy.
It can be a difficult balance to get it right. As much as we might be clear in our own minds that it's a NSA relationship it's not uncommon to suddenly feel a bit used if all you ever do is fuck or if one person leaves the minute they have come!
If one or both parties are also sleeping with other people there needs to be a level of tact employed. Some might find it a turn on to hear the salacious details, others will want to know nothing of your encounters elsewhere. However, even if you like the details, it can be hard to listen to your fuck buddy go on about how wonderful another woman is and how much he likes her!
So it can be complicated if you're both not on the same page and there are, as Jemima says in her blog the usual roll call of idiots, timewasters and trolls, but there are some fantastic genuine people out there!
If you're a woman and are interested in the swinging world do read Jemima's blog, if you didn't click on it before here it is again Sex and the swingle girl.
This blog didn't quite turn out how I had written it in my head a few days ago. The trip down memory lane wasn't planned, bu I enjoyed it and I hope you did too!
The Scene: Daily Mail offices
A group of white heterosexual men in suits sit around a board table.
There is an air of unease. Circulation is down, The Mail Online aren't getting the hits they used to, advertisers are getting twitchy and rumblings from Dacre were getting louder...
'Any ideas anyone?' a white heterosexual man said hopefully.
Everyone looked thoughtful.
'Any gays died lately?' another white man asked 'We could get Moir in, she gave us no end of publicity when the poof from Boyzone copped it'
The room fell silent...
'You would have thought Littlejohn finishing that tranny off would have worked' someone else added.
The room filled with murmurs and headshaking. They were all most disappointed that that one hadn't made more of an impact despite the best efforts of those liberal lefties on Twitter.
'I suppose there's only one thing for it!' a white man who occasionally liked his bottom smacked by his Nigerian gardener announced. 'We'll have to get Brickie in!'
As she entered the room, the atmosphere changed. Air was sucked in through teeth, hard ons were hastily rearranged and the sound of wildly beating hearts could practically be heard as sweat glistened on many an upper lip.
'Fuck, she's so beautiful' one white man who had spent the night wanking over the Evening Standard's Thatcher pull out special said breathlessly.
She was a vision. She sat at the head of the table, her blonde hair spread across her shoulders like an angel. Her perfect legs crossed and the vacant look in her eyes was quickly changed with the smug self satisfaction that all these men would leave their wives for her.
'What can I do for you boys?' she said knowing the words on her lips were like a summer breeze across their fevered brows.
'We need something from you, we don't care who you upset but we need more readers, even readers who only read us because they hate us.'
'But, I already gave you my IVF trauma and heartbreak piece last week when you wanted me to do an obit of that IVF man who didn't give me a baby'. The pout on her lips was like the sweetest cherry.
'We know most pretty one, and we appreciate that but we need something more. Something to get the femin-lezzies going'
Samantha Brick looked thoughtful. The collective of white heterosexual men all waited, cocks still hard, pulses still racing.
'Well, you know how beautiful I am?'
'Yes!' a loud cry in unison was heard, each man hoping his affirmation was loud enough for her to notice him, even for just a second.
'Well, I thought I could share my secret of how one stays so beautiful. It's all about being thin.
The white hetreosexual men all removed the passing thoughts that they liked women with a healthy appetite, how they adored to see a pair of big bouncing boobs, slap a round peachy arse and any worry they had about their teenage daughter's eating disorder.
The beauty continued.
'Yes, that shall be my gift to you. I shall tell the world that being slim is the only way to be. Everyone should realise that only fit women will do well at work, I mean...'
She laughed daintily like a twinkling fairy flying by a crystal clear waterfall.
...'we all know dear Maggie never would have done so well if she'd been a lardy heffalump. I shall share the secret of my special polo mint diet and that it's OK to faint from hunger.
Samantha stood up, her dress rippling across her creamy (not that thin actually) thighs. She was getting into her stride now.
'I shall tell them to choose houses without kitchens, to holiday in predominantly vegetarian countries! I shall tell them to pick men who will DUMP them if they gain any weight!'
The white hetreosexual men all stood and cheered! Not caring that their trousers were still bulging and ruining the line, they whooped and yelled and cheered for their goddess!
'I don't care if even more women hate me, it's only because they are jealous of me, the fatties will all die of a cardiac arrest soon anyway!' she trilled like a bluebird on the first day of spring!
'Teenage girls need to know they won't be loved or get a job if they get fat. Starving yourself is the only way to be as perfect and beautiful as me!'
The cheering reached a crescendo. The white heterosexual men all knew that this one would be a winner. Tweets would be tweeted, blogs written, links posted on Facebook, commentary made in the lefty commie press (aka The Guardian) and general loathing and criticism across the land would fall at the feet of dear, beautiful Samantha and the advertisers and Editor would be happy again.
For those who are hard of thinking, the Daily Mail articles relevant to this post will not be linked here.
I am considering a trip to New York later on in the year- November/December I think. Mainly because the lovely boobtastic Sarita is going and it's always nice to have someone to hold your hand on such trips. It's not something I would have considered before and I haven't made definite plans as yet so I am only sticking my toe in the water to see if anyone based out that way thinks they might like to see me! I will only go if I feel there is enough enthusiasm for me out there. Although saying that a little holiday might be nice, I've always fancied New York.
I've been lucky enough to get some advice off the fantastic Annie, a courtesan based in New Orleans who I have known (in the online world) for ages. After all the US scene is very different to here in the UK and I will have to be super careful about how I go about it as This blog shows!
So, if you're in New York or you might be and think you'd like to hook up (or have any words of advice) do drop me an email at email@example.com
In other exciting news I have had a fabulous new review on Punternet! If you'd like a read the link is here. Thank you very much to the lovely R for writing it! I enjoy our sessions very much too so it's a win win all round! He mentions the anal play section on my website which is here if you're interested! Anal play
Right, I am off for a long hot soapy shower! Toodle pip!
One of the worst kind of clients a girl can get (bar the dangerous types obviously) is one who has learned all about sex from porn. It's a common cry heard from my floosie friends 'Urgh, just had one who thought he was in a porno!' we cry and we all know exactly what that type is. Usually young (under 25), usually the kind that thinks they are cool and treat you as if you should be grateful that a hot young dude like him would pick an old bird like me. They wear designer clothes and jeans slung low so you can see their branded pants, that's when your eyes aren't stinging from the excessive use of Lynx, or other highly stinky fragrance that they have applied in very liberal doses. Usually these sorts don't pass my door because they give themselves away when they call, but I have been lucky enough to experience it a few times.
They look at your with a leer, and grab your tits like they are squeezing melons for freshness and get their cock out within the first few minutes and shove you in the general direction demanding you 'deep throat it like a whore'. They change their mind every few seconds what they want. As soon as you start sucking they then want to finger you regardless of how bloody good I am at my job even I can't take three fingers being shoved roughly in my arid dry cunt. Luckily because these creatures are easily bored they want to get on to the fucking. This involves being manhandled into every position known to man every three seconds. It involves deep hard thrusting and usually sporadic slaps on the bottom. Now, I like a bit of a spanking but so unerotic this is I feel like a cow at market being moved on by a red nosed farmer.
Once they have thrust away a few times they might then demand I play with myself whilst they wank. I think this is when they realise that due to excessive wanking since they were 14 they can't actually come when faced with a real life vagina. At least I might be able to get myself off I muse. Oh no! The minute my legs are open the boy wonder decided he needs another blow job and rams his dick in my mouth again, pumping away as if his existence depended on it. Usually by this point I have told him several times to slow down and am now at the point of concentrating on not shouting at him. The thing with these lads is they aren't nasty or malicious. They usually stop if you tell them it hurts, but they don't seem to learn and go back to doing something else that involves my discomfort. They are horny, they think I should be as thrilled as they are by enacting out 'Hot Wet Nympo Sluts' on fast forward and they are completely oblivious. Afterall, when they are knocking one out to Kayden Kross she doesn't complain, roll her eyes or laugh at him. To these boys sex is not a two way street.
The Venus of Willendorf figurine
Porn is not a new thing. Here is a quick, tongue in cheek guide to porn through time if you don't want to read this anymore!
Porn (or at least sexual imagery) been around as long as we have. Stone age (Palaeolithic) people 50,000-10,000 years ago produced art which has been described as 'stone age porn'. Of course we don't know for sure whether it was for titillation or something else but Archeologists and anthropologists have described the figurines as representations of goddesses, apotropaic amulets used for sympathetic magic, and even as self-portraits of women themselves. However, R. Dale Guthrie, in his work The Nature of Paleolithic Art has suggested that figurines found could be the fantasies of adolescent males.
When Pompeii was destroyed by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79AD much was preserved due to the lack of air and moisture including many frescos and wall paintings which contained highly sexual themes. The nature of this art was clearly for enjoyment rather than symbolism of fertility. The below wall paintings demonstrate this:
The Greeks were no strangers to images containing sexual scenes either and whilst the concept of pornography didn't exist it's hard to deny that this kind of imagery must have invoked a feeling of sexual desire or outrage, depending on where your sensibilities lay!
Marcantonio Raimondi, an Italian engraver from the late Fifteenth century to the mid Sixteenth century and was known for his prints of the risqué and erotic imagery. These images were Known from the series called “I Modi”, which were conducted from the drawings by Giulio Romano. It consists of sixteen engravings which were created in 1524, they are what Marcantonio are most renowned for as he pushed the boundaries with illustrations in printmaking.
The breakthrough work for eighteenth century pornography was Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (also known as Fanny Hill) by John Cleland. Initially published from 1748 to 1749, it was the first pornographic novel and the first work of English pornography to be written in prose (Foxon, 1965). Deemed obscene in 1750, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure would remain ‘underground’ for over two centuries until 1966 in the United States and 1970 in Britain (Kendrick, 1996).
Commercial pornography designed purely for titillation flourished in the nineteenth century. As printing costs continued to fall, pornographic material was progressively marketed to the consumer class. By 1837, there were over fifty pornographic shops on London’s Holywell Street and by 1871 New York was selling more than one hundred thousand pornographic books per year (Kendrick, 1996).
One of the first magazines to display photographs of the female nude, was the French magazine Le Frisson at the turn of the century (Rodley, 2000). At that time, it was increasingly common for French magazines to publish nudes, under the guise of naturism. American magazines were less risqué; they displayed reproductions of erotic paintings with the occasional ‘live’ model. Such magazines included Nickell (1894-1905) and Metropolitan (1895-1911) (Slade, 2000).
In December of 1953, Hugh Hefner published the first edition of Playboy Magazine in the United States; a nude Marilyn Monroe was the first Playboy centerfold. Whilst publishing nudes was not original, Hefner’s achievement was to turn Playboy into the liberal voice of a masculinised middle class. Whilst Playboy was controversial, it never showed photographs of pubic hair or genitals in the early days. Hefner managed to keep the censors at bay by combining high quality journalism with relatively ‘respectable’ photography (Watts, 2009).
In 1965, Bob Guccione published the first edition of Penthouse magazine in the United Kingdom, More risqué than Playboy, Penthouse photographs contained pubic hair. Oh how things change, how often do you see any pubic hair in porn these days?!
According to John Heidenry (1997), the invention of the videocassette recorder (VCR) was “the most significant event in adult-film history. By the late 70's it's reckoned 80% of video tape sales in the UK were smutty films!
In the 1980s, pornography was available at hotels with in-room pay-per-view. In the 1990s pornography was available from a person’s residence if desired with the Playboy Channel, Vivid, and the Spice Channel (Sarracino & Scott, 2008). American pay-per-view revenues rose from $54 million in 1992 to $367 million in 1999. I can't find any UK stats I'm afraid!
Do-It-Yourself pornography or amateur pornography emerged in the late 1980s when camcorder prices fell. By 1991, DIY pornography accounted for 30% of adult video rentals and sales in the United States, (Coopersmith, 2000).
At least with all the above there was some control over what children could get hold of. I know when I was a teenager occasionally someone at school would procure a dirty magazine which was then thumbed over by all the boys in the class as the girls squeaked with indignation, but most adults were likely to be careful where they stashed their porn collection whether it be magazine or on tape.
Things have now changed hugely with the internet. While pornography had been available over the Internet since the 1980s, it was the availability of widespread public access to the World Wide Web in 1991 that led to an expansion of internet pornography.
Here are some statistics from helpaddictions.org
According to the Childwise Monitor Trends report 2012 75% of school-age children have own computer, half have a laptop, and a quarter have a desktop PC. Two-thirds of all seven- to 16-year-olds can access the internet in their own room.
According to Ofcom, since 2011, there has been a 50% rise in 12-15 year olds owning smartphones. Around two-thirds of this age group now has one which is higher than the UK average for adults which sits at about 45%.
These days children can access the internet easily. There are parental controls that can be put into place, but not all parents are technologically aware or mindful of what their children are accessing.
The average age of first exposure to internet porn is now 11 and 70% of teenagers have seen online porn (helpaddictions.org).
The National Association of Head Teachers is calling for children to be taught, "in an age-appropriate way", about the impact of pornography as part of the national curriculum. So from a young age, about 10, children would be taught about internet safety and warned about content, while teenagers would cover the issues in more detail. (BBC website Oct 24, 2012)
The internet and rapid changes in technology is clearly causing concerns. Not only are kids seeing images inappropriate for their age but there is an increased pressure on girls to look a certain way (I recently met a friend's 17 year old niece who told me her and all her friends started removing their pubic hair at 14 because that was what was expected!) slut shaming and pressure on girls to engage in sexting and sending indecent photos. Here is one such story.
Both young men and women seeing porn are getting a distorted view of what sex should be about. Not only are girls thinking they need to be hair free to be attractive to men, but they are learning about sexual kinks and practices that my generation only really discovered when we got older. Most people I know were only really engaged in very straight forward sex in their teens and twenties and it wasn't until they were in their late 20's or 30's that things such as group sex, bondage, watersports and so on became something to experiment with.
Porn normalises kinkier practices, not that I think there is anything wrong with kinky sex by any stretch of the imagination, but I do think for some aspects, an emotional maturity is needed to be able to handle them and to a degree a good relationship (whether romantic, friendship or client/provider based). Porn doesn't demonstrate this at all and doesn't cover safe practices or health and safety issues.
Porn is also largely fake. It's smoke and mirrors and clever editing. Actresses being double penetrated look like they love it, but they may not, they are paid to ooh and ahh and fake orgasm. In porn no-one gets cramp or goes flaccid or dries up. Not all women can be pounded for an age without starting to feel sore and the more aggressive porn films aren't how many women want to be treated.
In the right place fast furious sex can be amazing, however most women (and that includes escorts) need to feel a degree of comfort and trust with the person they are doing it with which brings me back to the young men who bounce around waving their cocks like Ron Jeremy looking like pratts and making me feel like a lump of meat. Actually, that's not true, I just laugh at them now and tell them off, but that's only age and experience!
I do however feel sorry for the young women who meet these men, and also for the men who seem to be missing out on the rite of passage fumbling about and learning together what works for them. Instead we now have a generation growing up thinking plastic, fake, hairless sex with lots of oohing and ahhing and instantaneous orgasms is the norm.
Due to me being a nitwit I will now be available with Bibi from 5pm on Saturday 4th May- Tuesday 7th May, not the Friday as originally stated!
Do get your bookings in, last time we were hugely popular!
SPECIAL OFFER! ONE DAY ONLY!
Monday 1st April No, it's not an April Fools day joke!
30 minute booking at only £50
1 hour £100
Please mention this rate when you book!
The discount only applies on Monday 1st April only and only for incalls.
Subsequent hours still at £100 so therefore 90 mins £150 and 2 hours £200.